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Original poster

I'm not ok right now

44 replies

swg1 · 09/09/2020 18:19

I know I will be ok because I've been ok before. But I'm not ok right now.

The thing that pushed me over the edge? Not being able to go to the park after school any more :( There's always at least a few people who go after school and the kids charge around and the parents stand (at least a metre apart) and chat. But me and the kids alone are three people. I can't count on there being few enough people in there to get us under 6 and getting 4 and 7 year old not to socialise is impossible. It's meant 60-90 minutes per visit where they are exercising, not on screens and not fighting, and where I get to just make small talk.

We'll give it up because I'm not a dick and because it's the type of village where people would grumble at the school and the council. I won't put the school in that position and I'm worried the council would just close the park again :( We'll go at quieter times. I know it's not the world's biggest tragedy. But oh, I need a day or two to mourn this one.

OP posts:
OverTheRainbow88 · 09/09/2020 18:34

Just go to the park, let your kids run around, you socially distance and have a chat with another adult.

Cornettoninja · 09/09/2020 18:42

I’m towing the line fairly closely for covid but will be using parks as I have been until/if they’re closed again. It’s not parks that are the problem and I would class it as a sport and organised clubs are allowed to continue.

Just go and continue to be sensible.

Original poster
swg1 · 09/09/2020 18:43

It's really not workable. I wish it was but it's a small park, at times you've got every kid in it just on the roundabout or something and sometimes that will be over 6 kids :( I stood there at 4 today trying to make it work within the rules but I can't even in my own head.

And yes, someone will totally report us if they think we're rule-breaking. It's a very curtain-twitchy sort of village with a number of older people who don't really like kids to start with and didn't even before all this. As I said, I wouldn't want to put the school in an awkward position (nothing to do with them - but kids in uniform will always get reported to schools) and the council reshutting parks would be an awful worst case scenario. I will abide by it, because I can't deal with losing the park all together again. It just really sucks :(

OP posts:
Thisisnotnormal69 · 09/09/2020 18:45

If you go separately with your family you’re not breaking any rules. No-one will come and fine you, don’t worry

itsgettingweird · 09/09/2020 18:46

I didn't understand that parks or soft play and things were closing?

Kids are playing at school.

As long as adults SD and in groups of 6 max I wasn't under the impression this was not allowed? (I may be wrong!)

SummerHouse · 09/09/2020 18:48

You will not be allowed to 'meet' in a group of more than six. I wouldn't class this as meeting. You are just in the same space as others. If this counted as a group meeting so would every supermarket in the land along with every restaurant, beach, park and play area.

upsidedownwavylegs · 09/09/2020 18:50

So if someone reports them, you explain that you were in a group of the right size. The school are probably a wee bit busy right now to be bothered.

Original poster
swg1 · 09/09/2020 18:53

@itsgettingweird As far as I understand it's a social gathering? I've been DESPERATELY trying to excuse this in my head (because oh god I don't want to lose after school park, it's a sanity saver).

If we were at the park and 6 other kids were there and they didn't know each other, that's ok. I think. But because they all know each other at school if all 8 of them start a giant game of tag or something, that then becomes a social gathering?

And I can't work out either -- if the parents stick outside the playground, even though we all know each other, could you theoretically have 6 parents outside and 6 kids inside and count this as two groups? How far apart do you have to be to not be part of one group?

This isn't a situation where I can go "meh, I'll pretend this isn't against the rules and it isn't my problem". I can almost guarantee if we're not within the rules someone will complain within a week because they complained about much much smaller things pre-covid.

OP posts:
Loftyloft · 09/09/2020 19:01

That’s not against the rules; that’s just going to the playground?! You’re not arranging a meet up, you are not in a parent group of more than 6, and I presume most of the children at the park would be from the school anyway. Don’t go if you don’t want to, but it’s not against the rules.

Elemenopeeee · 09/09/2020 19:04

You seem a bit determined to see this as a problem.

I hate after school park it’s the worst. I just want to get home!!

Original poster
swg1 · 09/09/2020 19:07

@Loftyloft I really do DESPERATELY want to go. Kids are all same school but different yeargroup bubbles. Tiny village school so everyone knows everyone.

This is somewhere where I really want a grown-up to ask (yes yes, I know, I'm 38) as to how they're likely to interpret the rules because I really hate the thought of someone complaining about us - the school really really DO have enough to deal with without us causing trouble (as you may be able to tell I am not a natural trouble maker at heart).

Maybe I'll give it a week and go to a different quieter park and see if anyone says anything about stuff like this.

OP posts:
DrDetriment · 09/09/2020 19:09

Seriously, just go to the park and stop stressing. You are making a mountain out of a molehill.

Original poster
swg1 · 09/09/2020 19:10

@Elemenopeeee Once they're at home I've got a long long time of "CAN WE HAVE ELECTRONICS" "no" "HOW ABOUT NOW?" to not strangle them through, interspersed with "brother tried to push me off sofaaaaa" ;) Because there is the miracle of Other Children at the park it is amazingly peaceful.

Soft play on the other hand is a circle of hell.

OP posts:
FMW138 · 09/09/2020 19:11

I read in the government guidelines a few weeks back that if you are out with people and you 'bump into' a few friends when you are out, you are not allowed to talk to them if that would mean taking you over your max group number. So I get the whole park thing as if you are already a group of three and you bump into and engage in conversation with another family, you are already above the 6 maximum...

Lazypuppy · 09/09/2020 19:13

OP i think you are overthinking this

NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite · 09/09/2020 19:14

And I can't work out either -- if the parents stick outside the playground, even though we all know each other, could you theoretically have 6 parents outside and 6 kids inside and count this as two groups?
Yes.

How far apart do you have to be to not be part of one group?
2 metres.

Original poster
swg1 · 09/09/2020 19:14

@FMW138 Yes! That's it! And I know the whole of Mumsnet lives in a space where "well, I'm just going to use my common sense and no-one will care!" but believe me in tiny insular villages PEOPLE CARE! And complain. Endlessly. So you need to make sure you are inside the actual rules and not the rules in your head because you are going to need to defend your actions.

OP posts:
Porcupineinwaiting · 09/09/2020 19:14

You can still go to the park, just dont arrange to meet friends there and if you bump into some keep 2m apart as you chat. Apart from anything, the risk of transmission outdoor is way, way lower than indoors.

beela · 09/09/2020 19:14

You are over thinking this. Just go to the park. If you happen to be there at the same time as other people (even if you know them) it doesn't constitute a social gathering.

Dozer · 09/09/2020 19:15

Yes, you can still go to the park!

hammeringinmyhead · 09/09/2020 19:16

I have had this conversation with mum friends today. 4 of us and 4 toddlers often use the same park at the same time on a Friday morning. We don't stand in a group, but speak as we pass while wrangling children on the equipment. Do we have to take it in turns to not go now?

hammeringinmyhead · 09/09/2020 19:16

Obviously a bit tongue in cheek but it is down to interpretation.

mirandatempest · 09/09/2020 19:18

Sorry, you've misunderstood. You can go to the park.

Itsjustabitofbanter · 09/09/2020 19:19

Dear lord op, just go to the park. Random people in the same area is not classed as a social gathering at all, otherwise restaurants and pubs etc would just be limited to 6 people.

Estrellente · 09/09/2020 19:19

You defend your actions by saying that you are not all there as a group!