One of only a few that weren't furloughed - help me to understand DH's POV.

[WeatherObsessed]

The company that DP works for furloughed a huge percentage of their staff and have now made a number of redundancies from this group too. DH has thankfully kept hold of his job but he did have to take a 15% pay cut, so not far off that for those who were furloughed. He has continued to work throughout lockdown. He worked long hours before Covid and his hours have now increased (with no increase in pay) as he is one of only a few people to be on the payroll plus working from home means there is no real end point to his working day.
What he is really struggling with is resentment 😬 towards those who were furloughed for 5+ months. He has been under a lot of stress from clients and all he has seen is the highlight reel from his colleagues. For example, they invited him to a zoom chat in the middle of the working day early on in lockdown. He was busy trying to juggle work and every one of his team sat on the meeting drinking a beer and talking about going for walks in the sunshine, binge watching something on Netflix and enjoying not having to work. His social media was full of colleagues sat in their gardens, enjoying a drink with their feet in the paddling pool. Most have now returned to work, refreshed after a long break from work and DP is more stressed than ever. He is so down about it and resentful and I'm struggling to get him out of it. I have pointed out that he is bloody lucky to still have a job and that millions of people are in his positioned having continued to work (me included!!) throughout lockdown. Anyone else felt like he does? I'm struggling to understand tbh!

Solicitor support staff here. They furloughed half of the secretaries giving no thought to skills. They could have split us up into 2 groups and furloughed us 3 weeks on 3 weeks off. They couldn't be bothered with the extra admin. The result is the staff who worked through are now knackered and the ones who didn't are heading back refreshed physically but not mentally. I have moved on and I think it won't be long until quite a few more do the same.

I spent the summer in my garden but was careful not to have it all over social media.

@Isolatedizzy yes to people looking refreshed. Some also reluctant to return - very annoying !!!

It was definitely much easier for them
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What a stupid sweeping statement

I have one of those as well pomegranate - he's older so more vulnerable as am I and we're not expected to be work everyday but a mixture of that and wfh
I know I'm lucky to have a job, not be in everyday, not to have been wrestling a 6 year old while trying to do some work, it doesn't stop me feeling tired, stressed overworked and unappreciated!

How stupid? Some people working FT plus trying to home school. Much more difficult than for people who didn’t have to work.

Yeah my mate said she couldn't start WFH again as her child was there, and they said fine so she kicked back, I have slogged my arse off at home, had to ignore my DC for hours and hours and could barely keep up home schooling and will pick up the bill as a tax payer.

I do get how he’s feeling to a degree. None of my colleagues were furloughed but a lot of my friends were. I was juggling an awful and stressful workload with nursery- and primary-aged DC, and after a while I had to stop looking at Facebook etc altogether because seeing pictures of people having lovely family moments and home renovation projects and learning to decorate cakes and doing Joe Wicks PE was making me all snarly and resentful.

But it still wasn’t their fault they were in that situation. And it’s not your DH’s colleagues’ fault either. So no use seething about it, as he’s finding it won’t do anything useful and it won’t help him feel any better.

Much more difficult than for people who didn’t have to work.

Stupid as you haven't got a clue how it was for anyone else other than your own circle. Yes it's hard working and home schooling but I'd choose that every day rather than being terrified how ill pay my bills and feed my children after losing my job or struggling on 80%.

I was furloughed for five months. If you looked at my FB you’d think I was having the time of my life. Having no routine, no purpose, worried sick about family getting ill, losing my job has seen me back on anti depressants I’d weaned myself off before Christmas.

Oh and I got made redundant.

I can see why he’s resentful, but he should focus on the company who are taking advantage, rather than the people who had no choice.

He's got every right.

I was one of those that's worked through it all, took on more work and hours to make up for the loss of staff. We have team meeting 2 times a week, one of the team who returned had the cheek to say he was tired on his second day back....

As you can imagine it didn't go down very well with us who kept the wheels turning so to speak..

Polly, sone people were financially better off as no commute/ childcare costs.
Obviously I’m not talking about people in hospitality for example, who are still having a worrying time.

Pretty shit over here too. Worked through it all (in healthcare management so busy and stressful) colleague I worked with was furloughed, still is and I'm doing both jobs still. Because they've realised I do it better. But now I'm knackered, pregnant and havent had a week off (or more than 2 days) since Christmas. Our receptionists have been furloughed and bragging about what they're going to do with their months annual leave they still have to take...

He has every right to feel angry about the situation, but that anger should be directed at his employer, not his furloughed colleagues, several of whom have now lost their jobs, and the rest of whom will be terrified they will be next. I wouldn't mind betting some of them may be resentful of him working and having job security.
If he has an issue with the way things are now he must raise it with his employer. Alternatively he could offer to take some time off and have a furloughed colleague cover his work. No? Didn't think so 😏

Everyone I know who was/is furloughed would much rather have been working rather than in left in limbo, feeling useless, under valued and vulnerable to redundancy.

No one has had an easy ride of it this year. We have all been negatively impacted in some way. The furloughed may have been off work, but they are worried about their job security. The working have been busting themselves in many cases, but at least they have a job. The best thing to do is to focus on the positives.

He has every right to feel angry about the situation, but that anger should be directed at his employer, not his furloughed colleagues, several of whom have now lost their jobs, and the rest of whom will be terrified they will be next

This.

What justification could there possibly be for the company keeping him on and working him harder than ever whilst furloughing others, then expecting him to work for even less money than he did before? It's exploitation and I'm not surprised he's angry about it, though it's not the fault of his furloughed colleagues

I can see his point of view. My firm furloughed a lot of staff (I believe about 1,300) mainly admin staff but also client facing, none of m6 team were furloughed, mainly because we were under staffed.

We all had to “volunteer” for a 20% pay cut for 3 months. The temporary agreement also gave us a 20% Cut in hours. Most staff could choose either a 4 day week or short days, I was told that, at my level8 had to be available 5 days a week.

I worked more hours than usual, many more. Now they are claiming that I am not entitled to reclaim the 4 bank holidays which was the offer made to us.

I will be raising this with HR, although not formally complaining. My line manager will ensure that I do not lose the days (I do not complete timesheets so this will not be hard to achieve). I do not want to put my head above the parapet.

But I do begrudge the people who had time to sit in the garden enjoying the good weather while I was working 12 hour days and trying to juggle school work too. But I comforted myself with the knowledge that I will not be near the top of the lists for redundancy,

Thanks for all the comments. We have had a good chat and he's going to set himself stricter limits on his working hours. Hopefully that will help.

I do think that there is a tendency not to cut off at the same time as in the office. This week i have had IT issues, I lost almost 2 days, due to deadlines, i worked until 22.10 last night. There have been lots of nights I think, I’ll just do this.... then 2 hours later you emerge from the rabbit hole.

Perhaps encourage him to set a stop time, plan a walk at 6.30 (if that fits in with the family , or bath time, anything ) but something that can be seen as immovable.

My dh was one of a very few staff in his workplace that wasn't furloughed. They furloughed the staff on full pay, so to add insult to injury, they were being paid the same as DH was but for not working. He was trained to do work of staff who were furloughed rather than bringing those staff back. At one point they dangled the thought of putting him on the scheme in front of him, then decided very last minute to choose someone else. So he's worked every one of his work days through it all.
And to add to it, he's had to use some of his holidays whereas the furloughed staff have not used or lost any of their holiday days and have plenty left to use now they are slowly being put back into work.

Many of the staff at his work ARE talking about the 'holiday' they had, as they were on full pay and therefore not losing pay. And DH's social media has been full of his work friends showing off their garden/household projects they've had the time to complete.

We know it shows he's least likely to be made redundant, but it's still a sore point here. Especially as I was working from home on full pay the entire time and the kids were home learning, so he was the only one going out to work.

I completely understand my DP and i have worked all the way through with a 6 and 9 year old to home school and then entertain over the holidays. We are both exhausted. People furloughed at my work were on 100% pay, and there is no risk of redundancy for us (which I am grateful for). I'm afraid I am very resentful of them.

Similar situation with my DH and his little team, with the exception that his employer has been incredibly understanding of the situation. He's WFH long hours throughout (as have I, but NHS, so been able to skip off our the door) and juggled the kids and their constant demands for food from his corner of the kitchen table - with all the inevitable meeting interruptions.

They've been given additional days off over BH weekends and are allowed to finish earlier on Fridays and there have been some lovely missives from senior leadership and recognition of how tough it has been.

I can understand your DH feeling a bit pissed off to be honest.

His feelings are valid.

Not having been furloughed isn’t protection against redundancy.

I completely feel for your dh.

How the fuck are people who've been furloughed entitled to take holiday. Surely they should have been made to take it whilst on furlough. That is utterly ridiculous and I'd be so angry.

I'm a paramedic, so obviously worked through lockdown, my DH also WFH through lockdown doing not only his job but covering a colleague on maternity leave (went on mat leave just as lockdown started so no way for his employer to train up and equip a temp). Some of his colleagues in other areas of the company were furloughed.

About 18 months ago he very nearly left that job for a different company. This morning a friend was makes redundant from that company and my best friend is still furloughed from there and probably 50/50 for being made redundant.

It puts it all in perspective despite the frustration and exhaustion during lockdown with us both working and a toddler.