Experience with covid-sceptics

[MsStillwell]

Last night I met up with a good acquaintance, she wanted some advice with something I have expertise in and it's been a while since we caught up with each other so I was looking forward to seeing her.

Instead, it was an hour of her beliefs and ideas about masks, covid, vaccines, 5G, the amazing experience she had hugging strangers at the Trafalgar protest and how she's fallen out with her best friend who has asked that they avoid this topic of conversation and why does she (acquaintance) have to be respectful of others' around wearing masks and 2m distances, yet she is silenced and not afforded the same respect...

I felt completely blindsided by all of this and my ears were ringing by the time I got away.

I just didn't want to get in to it. How can you begin to discuss with someone who says, "I have friends in the NHS, they've had nothing to do all summer" and "masks trap all of the toxins in your breath near your face and give you coldsores. Anyway masks don't work, if you smoke a cigarette behind a mask, the smoke escapes everywhere".

I guess I feel a bit sad that I've lost a friend because I too feel the need to distance myself a bit from her :(

(Also, I listened to six episodes about conspiracy theories that I saw recommended here, and yet I was totally unprepared for this onslaught. I just feel so sad about it all)

(I just kept trying to focus on the subtext of what she was saying and the process between us. I do believe that we all have far "more in common than that which divides us" but I could hardly get a word in edge ways. Right, I think I'm done. I think I just needed to get that off my chest as it's been bothering me all night).

Do you want to keep her as a friend in the long run? If so, leave it 6/8 months, by which point everyone will be well and truly sick of talking or thinking about Covid, and you won’t need to hear her or anyone else’s opinions anymore.

If you’re not bothered about staying friends then just accept some people will inevitably develop strange or odd theories about things, and move forward.

I completely understand feeling shaken by this. I think humans are wired to search for similarities and that is how we bond with one another, by sharing stuff we have in common and being vulnerable with each other. When you realise someone is drastically not on the same page as you it feels a bit of a shock and they don't feel as 'safe' - even though, as you say, you might still have stuff in common and she may have many amazing qualities.

It sounds as though she was putting out feelers (in a 'not drawing breath allowing you to get a word in edgeways' kind of way...) to see if you were on the same page as her. Unfortunately she's still probably none the wiser as she didn't give you space to say what you thought. Being shut down or talked at like that is horrible.

I have had a few acquaintances go down routes I wasn't prepared to follow. It feels quite sad and lonely, doesn't it - as though your social circle is shrinking.

Buy her some tin foil and run in the opposite direction.

What I don't really understand is why conspiracy theorists feel the need to harangue their friends and family on the subject, even when it's probably clear the other person doesn't want to get into it?

I remember being in a taxi the day after the 2016 US election with the driver going on and on and on about how he couldn't understand why Trump had won because he'd had it on good authority that George Soros had rigged the election for Clinton. He then started going on with all sorts of wild theories about Clinton. My one word responses didn't discourage him at all.

Oh that doesn't sound fun! Ultimately you have two choices - state your position or keep quiet and wait it out.

I've a friend who is not a covid denier, they accept the virus exists and the basic facts about transmission, but they refuse to acknowledge that any concern from anyone about any aspect is ridiculous.

I am worried about certain things, including elderly parents and finances.

I've had to just stop speaking to her and am waiting it out, because I can't chat and pretend covid isn't happening, and I don't want to be told again and again that it's over and there's 'nothing' to worry about.

Not sure I could stay quiet with full blown conspiracy theories though.

Oops, they refuse to acknowledge that any concern from anyone about any aspect is ridiculous. Ridiculous should be 'reasonable'!!

Thank you everyone for being kind.

The mask thing, she deliberately went in to a shop and did a slow browse to get a reaction from the shop security. Which she achieved. She then had an experience of feeling victimised, complained later and got a letter of apology from the store manager. My response was to sympathise and to say that how she was treated wasn't ok. Also, that I wear a mask because whilst I understand it doesn't do me much good, I'm convinced that it will help protect others more vulnerable than me, or at least help that shop stay open. (I freely admit that my only research is this man, ). She just looked at me as if I was being stupid.

Also, she is very concerned about the Covid Law, which I admit I'm not familiar with. It allows "Them" to detain your child for 14 days and to knock down a private residence.

It's all so exhausting. I think I'm a sheeple, and that I don't care

I had a FB acquaintance like this. It started with covid, then the child detention thing (if the school think they have symptoms they will be handed over to social services?!), then the savethechildren/ trafficking/ paedophile ring thing. Anyone that disagrees with her is called a paedophile sympathiser.

The problem with these people is that it's very difficult to disprove what they're saying, as statute/ guidance does not cover things that will never happen. "Show me where it says the school aren't going to take my kid away" - well no, because it's cuckoo.

The problem with these people is that it's very difficult to disprove what they're saying, as statute/ guidance does not cover things that will never happen. "Show me where it says the school aren't going to take my kid away" - well no, because it's cuckoo

Try "you can't prove a negative ya numpty"

Rinse and repeat.

that's the thing though, at the moment, there are so many different views. I'm in a different position perhaps, which is that I don't understand the fear. It's not that I think Covid is fake or that there is a 5g conspiracy (that's proper nuts). It's just that I am not able to viscerally feel any fear of getting the disease, or even of my mother getting it. It's a personality thing, I suppose, I've never spent time being anxious about things like that. I am afraid of other things, like driving onto 4-lane roundabouts, and having to clearly communicate that I will be late delivering a piece of work, or having to tell someone that I don't want to be in a relationship with them. Those are thigns I have control over, so I worry about doing the wrong thing or not being up to scratch.
I actually wish now that I could change my personality, as it would make life much easier. I cna't really talk to any of my friends anymore, and feel quite isolated.

I have a relative who is a highly trained professional with two degrees. She is spreading misinformation about that is potentially lethal.

I've no idea why my relative feels the need to tell everyone they are wrong and she and a few others with no scientific or medical backgrounds are right because they've read rubbish on the internet.

Maybe Covid symptoms should include inducing arrogance, superiority complexes and stupidity.

The problem isn’t the content. Plenty of crazy beliefs out there shared by intelligent people. The problem is she’s not getting the hint that you’re not interested.

If she’s hearing one or two-word polite answers and won’t change the subject to something more amenable to both parties, then frankly she’s being rude.

I do want to keep her as a friend, but a bit of space is needed as advised above. As pointed out, my body language and words did make it clear that I wasn't up for discussing this new topic, although of course, that's her basic point. She feels judged and silenced and did you know that the police were told to make lots of arrests and fines at the protest, but to let the BLM protest continue... And the police weren't even wearing masks?"

It's horrible isn't it. I've had an acquaintance go the same way, some of the utter nonsense that comes out of him now is actually quite depressing. It's all very cult like. And whilst I agree entirely that the fact that large numbers of children go missing every year, without trace, is an absolute scandal that is being largely ignored, I really don't think it is the sole fault of Hilary Clinton and Tom Hanks.

It's all very cult like.

Yes, it's really sad.

I feel her pain

She'll probably drop you, I wouldn't worry

It's a bit like Brexit, except this time apparently the largest covid-sceptic group is middle aged educated women (in France anyway, I imagine it's the same here). It's a divisive issue. My life is impacted massively by people I totally disagree with who are behaving, to my mind, illogically. Mass hysteria in action. I really wish I lived in Sweden. Anyway, I just don't bother any more with friends who are all up for masks and endless lockdown til the vaccine appears to save us all.

A member of my family believes this. He has believed for about 20 years that the Illuminati are planning to impose the New World Order, and as far as he is concerned this all just proves him right. He believes it is all a scam to start taking away our freedom before we are forced to have Bill Gates' mandatory vaccine which will deliver a nano chip into us to to track us and control our minds. He continually posts things on Facebook that he believes prove the official account is a lie and his version is the truth. He went to London a couple of weekends ago to march with other 'critical thinkers' to protest against lockdown and the restrictions. I just can't speak to him at the moment.

The largest covid-sceptic group is middle aged educated women Yes, I read that too from France.

Anyway, I just don't bother any more with friends who are all up for masks and endless lockdown til the vaccine appears to save us all. You're trying to set up a binary situation that doesn't exist.

The one thing that does drive me mental is people saying "but it's such a small sacrifice" when I am unhappy about my entire social and cultural life disappearing for six months.

Same here costco, and my belief is that the quicker we all take steps to stop it in its tracks the sooner we can get our lives back. Whilst people are gathering in Trafalgar Square and hugging people from around the county I won’t hold my breath.

OP I agree wholeheartedly with this " the quicker we all take steps to stop it in its tracks the sooner we can get our lives back".

I just wish more people felt the same because it's all pointless otherwise!

@Chaotic45

OP I agree wholeheartedly with this " the quicker we all take steps to stop it in its tracks the sooner we can get our lives back".

I just wish more people felt the same because it's all pointless otherwise!

I just don't understand this. Can't you see, what with the clue being in the name and all, that it's a pandemic? It's spread worldwide and is contagious for up to two weeks before symptoms appear, if they appear at all. What is it about that, that makes you think it can be 'stopped in its tracks'? Magical thinking