I think I might have been a bit traumatised by lockdown.

[Rainallnight]

(With all the usual caveats about being luckier than lots of people).

I’ve been really struggling with my mental health, feeling very tearful, angry and overwhelmed, particularly when I’m on my own with my DC.

When I’ve been feeling like this I’ve been having sort of flashbacks or very strong memories of lockdown.

My mum died a couple of weeks into lockdown and other than a few days when DP was off work for the funeral etc, I looked after the DC on my own, five days a week, with no break.

I feel as though it’s affected me in some way. I just put one foot in front of the other and got in with it, but the way I’m feeling at the moment feels to be like a belated reaction to what happened.

Does that make any sense? Does anyone else feel similar?

I feel exactly the same, we had a similar circumstance and honestly I feel exhausted and traumatised by the whole thing

@Sorryusernamealreadyexists I’m so sorry you went through that but I do feel a bit less mad knowing I’m not alone.

And to be clear, I’m fully supportive of lockdown and doing whatever it takes re Covid. I think I’m just now facing up to the toll it took on me.

I think a lot of people are going to have some sort of PTSD type mental health issues resulting from lockdown.
It was such a inprecedented and unusual and sudden event. There was the weeks of worry about this new virus and then bam, everyone has to go into lockdown and not leave the house unless essential, families torn apart and unable to see each other, we, like others unable to attend funerals of loved ones, the worry of catching the virus and the images of ICU full, financial worries, job losses, etc etc etc
I would liken it to the war in an emotional sense.

I think during events and periods of high stress/emotion your adrenaline kicks in and you just get on with it, it’s not until the danger has passed/lessened you crash down and the feeling overwhelm you.

A few years ago DS1 had a burst appendix, had to have emergency surgery and was very poorly- had to have his insides washed out and several days of various antibiotics via IV drip. It wasn’t until a few days after he came home that the reality of the situation really hit me and I let myself feel all the emotions of put to one side in order to be present at the hospital/look after the younger kids while DH was at the hospital etc

I’m so sorry you lost your mum.
That trumps everything.
Goodness knows what services are open but I would suggest some grief counselling.
Cruse are very good.
I’m not surprised you are traumatised. It’s been an awful time but take heart, things are gradually getting back to normal.

I am so sorry for your loss I was in my 3rd trimester during lockdown and I think I am traumatised too. I feel fine most of the time, and our lives are as back to normal as I want them to be... or is possible as first time parents! But sometimes I will be out and drive past a "thank you key worker" sign, or someone in a mask and burst into tears thinking WTF has gone on, and think that it feels like a bit of a horror movie. I'll get flashbacks to particular moments of lockdown and find them very hard to process. I think lots of us are going through similar.

You poor thing, I’m not surprised you’re feeling this way. It was an extreme situation which as a society we would never have expected people to cope with before.

It’s not the same, but I gave birth during lockdown and it will take me a long time to come to terms with what that was like, plus the postnatal period with a newborn and toddler in lockdown (my husband couldn’t take paternity leave at the time, he did his best but it was very hard).

I hear you. You have been bereaved which is traumatic enough but also effectively been put on house arrest and isolated at a time of great crisis. Yes, things are getting back to normal but there is still a huge amount of uncertainty.

I’ve never really suffered with my mental health apart from a bit of anxiety but always in my radar due to parental mental health being bad on one side.
I worked throughout as I work on a ward and I never got that feeling of complete lockdown as I still saw people.

However my area was quiet for a time and I developed anxiety around being re deployed to covid areas. I’ve worked with a small amount of covid patients but not full on like the covid areas. I’m now anxious about everything!

My sleep is rubbish, I’m anxious about my health ( I’m pretty healthy anyway but still worry about it) I’m anxious about my work in winter as it usually bad anyway but this winter is going to be so hard. I worry about my dad who is vunerable. I’m anxious about friends that aren’t coping either that I’m not seeing much of cos if restrictions .

It’s left it’s mark this year in so many ways on so many people. I hope we all will be able to improve our mental health. I’m exercising, yoga, got headspace type apps, walks and fresh air., I’m eating well. So I’m trying.

Hope PP feel better or get the help they need.

I think the worst part of a traumatic experience is when you start to emerge from it. During a trauma you have Adrenalin keeping you going.
Eg it’s well know that the period when cancer treatment stops is the period when a lot of patients need some extra MH support.

So it makes sense and you’re not going mad it’s your body and mind processing . You will feel better but I think you just need to allow yourself to feel shit, and if it’s v bad look into some counselling which does help at this point in trauma xxx

So sorry for your loss.
You are not alone.
I like to think I'm as tough as old boots, take everything in my stride but covid/ lockdown has knocked me for six. I completely panicked, I was a key worker (rail) going to work, streets empty, queuing for supermarkets, food shortages, my mum (83) was shielding and I was having to keep her fed too, it's all been a complete surreal nightmare.
I also have followed all the rules and support any laws / rules that the Gov't want to impose.
This year is going to have a profound effect on a lot of people, it's going to take a long time for us all to get over this year.
Try to give yourself a break, take one day at a time but if you continue to struggle see your GP, they may be able to help.
I'm not surprised you are struggling as you've lost your mum as well doing this time.

You have had such a hard time OP, like others on the thread. Try to focus on yourself and making yourself happy. I'm so sorry about your mum

Lots and lots of people have reported feeling like this-you are absolutely not alone.

A good next step would be to talk to your GP either as a phone appointment or in person and see what support there is locally.