Shall I send him back to school?

[Nicedayforawedding]

Ds is in Year 3 this time,I have been in two minds about sending him back to school.

Elderly PIL live with us, not in good health and with underlying health conditions.i also have an autoimmune condition and am worried about being able to care for the children and PIL if I catch the Coronovirus.I don’t have much I need the way of support from friends and family.

I work from home and am reasonably well educated so could home Ed if it needs be. Feel bad though that DS wouldn’t be with his friends though.

We are in the worst part of the UK for Covid so I am concerned that we could catch it from community or school but I may following the rules to stay safe.

The Head and LA say they will fine me if I don’t de register DS and just keep him off. Any absence would be temporary I hope until situation improves.

What would you do?

Sorry for typos, I’m very tired today!

you are free to home educate if you wish. so long as DC does receive the education that is his fundamental human right - there is no obligation to use a school. the responsibility for fulfilling the child's inalienable right to education lies with the parents, who must provide it by sending the child to school, or otherwise. if family circumstances make home ed more sensible then go for it.

it is utterly unreasonable to keep a child registered at a school with no intention of sending them in. if the child is registered with a school then the school is unanswerable for that child's education and wellbeing and they will be judged on the result. how can they fulfil their obligations with a child they never see? it is putting them in a totally unjustifiable bind to do this.

deregister your child. home educate for a year. once vaccinations for C19 are commonplace you can reapply for a place and the worst that happens is that either the child starts at a different school or you continue with home ed for a bit longer than you want while waiting for a place at the school you want.

Thank you, I am feeling more like home Ed is the safest option. Its so hard because ds has lovely friends at school, just a heartbreaking decision.

Deregister and home-ed, but make sure he keeps in touch with friends on facetime, zoom and walks or park meet-ups if you feel safe to do that.

I wouldn’t deregister yet, I would keep him off but not deregister. Unprecedented times, legislation needs to catch up. He should be able to return to his school when the next few months are behind us. Have you looked at boycott the return to unsafe schools on Facebook.
Sadly schools will be setting work for isolated students soon anyway. Won’t make much difference sending or making available online for other children too.
If you do end up feeling backed into a corner, make sure that you state this on your letter. Homeschooling should be a positive choice not an unrolling of people who have legitimate concerns for their children.
The number of people wanting to vote with their feet is only going to grow.

@Nicedayforawedding don't deregister your child without speaking to the headteacher. Some people on mumsnet like to believe the world is black or white, but the truth is that this pandemic has altered things.

DS is going to start school (cases are low) but there is no way I am deregistering him because other people want to make me feel guilty for protecting my family. The headteacher at DS's school has been very supportive. If cases start rising like in some parts of the UK, he will be absent until they calm down. If you aren't particularly attached to that school, then it's your choice re deregistering him.

We have been shielding for months. When I see how much risk people are willing to take because they want 'normality', I took time to reason with myself. I'm not going to forfeit my son's place simply because we have the audacity to be vulnerable. Fuck that. If it turns out that a vaccine won't do much, then we'll have to take our chances and just live life. But we aren't at that point yet.

I’ve spoken to the Head, they were supportive about telling me school is safe and trying to reassure me but made it clear if I don’t send ds in the Head will have to fine me.

They have offered a slightly earlier drop off and pick up but this still doesn’t reassure me.

I know some of the other parents in my son’s class had secret play dates in lockdown. I didn’t and feel a lack of trust in them as I know many will send their children to school even with Covid symptoms.

Whether you officially de register or not you can still maintain his friendship relationships. Does he do any sport activities or attend any cubs/scout groups? If he doesn't go back to school you need to ensure he still gets plenty interaction with his peers

@Nicedayforawedding

I’ve spoken to the Head, they were supportive about telling me school is safe and trying to reassure me but made it clear if I don’t send ds in the Head will have to fine me.

They have offered a slightly earlier drop off and pick up but this still doesn’t reassure me.

I know some of the other parents in my son’s class had secret play dates in lockdown. I didn’t and feel a lack of trust in them as I know many will send their children to school even with Covid symptoms.

I complained to my MP about the state of play. Their hands are tied but I thought it very interesting that their letter detailed very clearly when your child might be kept off and for how long. Just leaving that here.

Like Boris said, it’s just like the war. Do what you need to protect your family, including his mental health for continuity with his schooling. Hopefully the legislation will catch up, it’s probably just a case of them having too much to juggle. I’m sure they’ll realise how unfair it all is regarding schools and people in your situation soon.

He swims and plays football,I’d like to keep up with his friends but if I deregister him I think many of the mums will not make the extra effort to see us.

@Nicedayforawedding

He swims and plays football,I’d like to keep up with his friends but if I deregister him I think many of the mums will not make the extra effort to see us.

Genuine question- why is it ok for him to swim and do football (assume at least the latter is in close contact with other kids) but not go to school?

I'm curious about your reasoning

Fining you for protecting your family? How is that right? Write to your MP. Tbh, DH has said that if they fine us, he doesn't care but intends to fight it. Our Headteacher implied they wish to take a lenient stance with vulnerable parents (as far as the gov will allow them).

Do you know what the gov's twitter account sent me when I told them their school guidance document has nothing about vulnerable parents? They sent me the guidance for vulnerable people which doesn't even mention school. The government, backed by some people who don't see the injustice here, are happy for you to choose between the lil social circle your son has, versus protecting his/your family. It's not right and I'm very angry for you.

What you have mentioned about other parents and play dates etc, that's exactly why I will not be deregistering. If some parents can happily take risks because they're not vulnerable, why should you be fined/lose his school place because their risk taking behaviour brings Covid closer to home? Is it your fault your DS's mummy has an autoimmune condition?

Read the other thread. Parent and dc having to isolate as other child covid positive in the class on day 2!

I would look at the rates if its say 1/2000 then thats about 1 per secondary a week.
1 in 4 or 8 primaries.
My dc is going into a bubble of 60. At least 1 returned from abroad this week . Non q country.
In my other dc class a boy is q after holiday. Another family in both my dc classes had to test this week. And another dc in my eldest class has a cold but not cough.

It's a shit situation as some are or feel at low risk and are out hugging everyone. Or at soft play.

Thank you, yes there are so many who have been taking risks because they are not vulnerable. Many times in the past children in my ds class have been sent to school very ill and it spreads round the class. This is my worry with Covid.

The head didn’t really offer me much, my ds would start 5 mins later than other children and 15 minutes before school finishes I would pick him up. I don’t understand how this is safer?

FirelighterGirl my ds has had one swimming class since March, we went back when the infection rate was lower. We haven’t been back since. We socialise outdoors to minimise risks but to allow him to see friends and socially distanced.

My town has the highest Covid rate in the UK, I explained this to the LA hoping that some leniency could be given but not the case. I’m too tired to fight but just want don’t want to catch this illness, want to protect my PILs too.

Your head sounds emphatic. Keep his place. Give him something to do everyday. Couple of weeks of not going to school should be alright as long as your family is safe. Get him some books to read.

Are you going to be able to home educate him whilst working from home? Will your PIL be able to do some of the teaching? It sound like a big undertaking for you although I absolutely understand why you would want to do it.

It's a pity the head isn't more understanding. I don't think these fines will happen, ultimately. It makes the government look mean and they don't like that. I think they'll do a U turn, especially when schools in some parts of the UK have a special new attendance mark (present but working at home) provided work is returned.

I feel very anxious today, I either send ds in or not according to the Head or the LA.

There are 30 children in the bubble, some of them I know have siblings at secondaries and nurseries. One of the nurseries has been closed twice due to Covid.

This is possibly the hardest and most agonising decision I’ve had to make, really angry that the LA are putting my family and many others through this.

I work from home but it will be hard to home Ed and care for PIL.

If we catch Covid I won’t even have the luxury or working or doing anything else. There is a high chance I will be extremely ill or worse.

Have you had a chat to your GP or specialist about whether there is now any data on the risks relating to your particular AI illness? Because, as far as I know, the fears about this (in general) being a high risk factor haven't really been borne out?

Hi Gwen, yes I have spoken to the GP and he said it is a risk. It’s worse for my elderly PIL who live with us as they are in very poor health and over 70.