What have you learned about yourself during lockdown?

[WomenHour]

I learned that like emptier streets more than busy streets.

That, whilst I have a lot of casual acquaintances and see a lot of people on a day to day basis, I have very few close friends who prioritise me and saw very few people in lockdown.

I am both lazy and untidy ... and I don't care!

I like my own company, and am a bit of a recluse

I find it a struggle to spend 24/7 with my husband and son, both of whom I love immensely. If I don't get time by myself each day, I don't function.

That I am stronger than I thought. OH developed jaundice, the NHS has let him down at every turn from the GP dragging his heels over referring him to the number of failed biopsies and mis-scanned body parts and I have fought hard to get him seen. Hopefully his next biopsy will prove successful and we will finally know if he has cancer of the pancreas/ampulla or just a tumour around his bile duct. Once upon a time I couldn't even pick up the phone to order a takeaway and now I can face the NHS, look after OH and care for our two fosterlings (aged 5 months and 10 months).

That lockdown for that long was too much and let’s hope we don’t go back to it.

That I have not a single.friend. and the one person that did contact me dropped me as soon as she got what she wanted and I haven't heard.from her since.

I can count my friends on one hand
I want a partner- someone who asks about my day, makes me a coffee. I would like someone to ask about me, how I’m doing.
I’m bored of me therefore everyone else must be bored of me hence no friends.

I wish i didn’t fuck up my life.

That I am incensed by arbitrary senseless rules and those who blindly follow them.

That I am actually rather scientific and want to know actual reasons exactly why something is a certain way, rather than simply accepting a media or government narrative.

That as much as I love my own company and being a recluse, I need regular holidays even if in the UK.
My worklife balance is all wrong.

And this isnt "new" as for the last two years I've worked in the office three days a week and home two days a week - I prefer working from home. Any podcast is better than work colleagues. When I'm not tired from six hours of commuting I can spend time on self care & wellbeing that isnt sobbing on sofa eating crisps and watching Netflix.

That my mental health problems I thought I left behind half a lifetime ago might come back in some circumstances (financial insecurity and feeling completely abandoned). Also that I can spend a lot less than I was.

That I really value my job and colleagues (I have a job that I had to leave the house and go to throughout lockdown, which meant I got to speak to people outside of my own household and I am incredibly grateful for that)
That I'm not scared of the empty city centre (walking through the city centre at 9pm in the dark from work to the bus stop was an experience but I wasn't scared)
That I really really need time to myself
That I definitely am not cut out to be a teacher
That I hate zoom

That I’m definitely an introvert....who likes people

That I can’t stand bloody Zoom but I’m otherwise more adaptable to technology than I thought.

That I’m pretty resilient.

I could handle prison.

That I’m super ambitious.
I already knew this but even I’ve been surprised at my level of desire to get back to work properly so I can move to world domination.

*what I’ve learned about others is that a lit of folk are self important busy bodies.

That I actually like more people than I thought.

That we actually go out and do more things than I thought.

That routine is actually positive.

There is only so much time for reading so make it what you want to read.

That i like my own company and that of my DP and dds .everyone else can do one. Seriously

That I absolutely hate my husband.
The I hate my youngest son (18) as he treats me like shit and us selfish.
The my eldest son is even more caring than I thought and is the best company.
That I have no friends.
That the Headteacher of the school I teach at is out to make my life a misery.

That I quite enjoy teaching. This was most unexpected. The bit of homeschooling my kids that involved actually teaching stuff I found really rewarding.

Attempting to do it whilst also do a full time job was the sticking bit!

That I need my job to get by mentally. I'd have gone mad if I didn't work through it. Having time away from my family and an opportunity to talk to other people kept me going. I love my family but I was forced to take 2 weeks off in lockdown and that was enough when your stuck at home and can't go anywhere.

I've also appreciated where I live a lot. Small rural community. Wouldn't have liked lockdown in a city.

That I'm an enormous coward in lots of ways. It is what it is.

I always said I was too busy to keep on top of housework. Like a pp I found out that I am lazy.

I have learnt that I do 7 of the things on the list below since lockdown, in particular the hair one, I opened the door the other day to a delivery guy he looked startled then I realised my hair was wild and wonderful (well wild anyway)

Are you a recluse or depressed? Being a recluse can be a sign of depression, and depression can result in being a recluse. Here are ten signs of what it means to be a recluse.

You don’t answer your door
You don’t pick up your phone
You watch ridiculous shows on television and not only would you never admit it, you can’t believe you continue to watch them
You don’t brush your hair
Fresh air feels weird in your lungs
You find yourself wearing the same clothes
You go to the same websites over and over
You don’t recall the last time you drove your car
You know your delivery guy and are slightly embarrassed when you open the door again and again
You listen to music on your headphones on full blast, or dance in your apartment and consider that a form of “going out”