I think it’s just me then...

[sunseekin]

....I read stuff like this and know it can’t be. Some days it feels like everyone is carrying on as normal and I wonder if I’m worrying too much, then I read stuff like this and realise that the risk is still very much there.

www.plymouthherald.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/warning-not-hug-kiss-children-4483869?fbclid=IwAR2el28HIDg5tt77Fqp2apf3Jh595STYnudng4qJzFgxoXPJzmptLiI6STU

I wish there was more (any?!) support for people that want to be careful for just those few months longer.

@viccat

I don't know why people - like many of the previous commenter's here - find it so hard to be more empathetic about other people's different circumstances.

For example, I live alone and have no family anywhere nearby. Even though I'm not clinically in any of the at risk groups, I do feel more vulnerable because I'm on my own. When I read the stories from people who have had the virus and how they were really ill and their partners helped them, of course it makes me worry about what would happen if I got ill. I have friends nearby but obviously wouldn't and couldn't expect for any of them to risk getting the virus themselves. Obviously there is always the risk of other illness too but this feels different because you specifically need to stay in isolation. I had cancer or broke my leg, at least people would be able to come and help without the fear of catching anything.

But the flipside is also that I'm cut off from much of human contact at the moment and really for the foreseeable future. At least I'm an introvert anyway and quite like my own company so it's manageable. My next door neighbour though also lives alone and she is in the shielding group, and she's also a total extrovert who usually has lots of people visiting her. I can imagine it's been extremely difficult for her to not have that human contact for such a long time, and she still has to avoid so many things she usually loves doing.

I'm not sure what support there could be to be honest, and I don't really expect it, but I do wish people could just be a bit more understanding. Whatever happened to "be kind"...

Exactly! I keep thinking this too. What ever happened to be kind. We are all walking different paths, sending you lots of wishing over the www for happier, easier times around the corner. It will get better x

At the beginning of lockdown I was classed as ECV due to severe asthma, and tried to follow the guidance, which was at that time to distance from my own family in my own house.

It was extremely stressful for all of us, and we quickly came to the conclusion that we couldn't do it, and therefore all of us would effectively shield together so at least as a family we could live normally within the confines of the house.

Since then I am no longer classed as ECV because now more is known about how the virus reacts with asthma. That's fantastic news for me (although it is taking quite a bit of adjustment to change my automatic view on assessment of risks).

However, for anyone who is in the ECV category, the idea that they might need to distance from their own children is horrible and anyone having to make those kinds of decisions has my utmost sympathy.

Also anyone saying schools had to be open due to children's mental health, but not also accepting that ecv children might be better off at home and not distancing from parents, due to their mental health, makes me . Yes that means you Gavin Williamson.

Mental health in a pandemic is complex, who would have thought it?

Is this about support for homeschooling, OP? If so, I agree that families with ecv household members should have the option to homeschool for a while if they wish (without losing their school place) but I'm not sure if schools have the capacity to actively support this through remote learning.

@ChanceEncounter

Also anyone saying schools had to be open due to children's mental health, but not also accepting that ecv children might be better off at home and not distancing from parents, due to their mental health, makes me . Yes that means you Gavin Williamson.

Mental health in a pandemic is complex, who would have thought it?

Exactly. This article just brought it all home to me. Our situation on the scale of things isn’t that bad. I feel like the government is trying to turn us all hard nosed and remove empathy from our society. Why isn’t there more noise about this? I’m not talking about the opposite end of the spectrum, ie forcing everyone to do what I want to do. I’m talking about choice, compassion and understanding.

@IncidentsandAccidents

Is this about support for homeschooling, OP? If so, I agree that families with ecv household members should have the option to homeschool for a while if they wish (without losing their school place) but I'm not sure if schools have the capacity to actively support this through remote learning.

In part, yes. But also about life in general. I feel like people are so keen to get on with normal life that they’re forgetting to consider those that can’t yet. I am starting to experience strained family relationships (in all, not every direction) because of different views. I just want more live and let live everywhere. Rules should be looming to accommodate as much as possible at the moment. There is way too much stress in the world at the moment and some of it is so avoidable.

I had a good chat with our HT. Have you spoken to your school?

Op what is it you wish.

No one is stopping you being careful for a few months longer. You can isolAte you can home school you can avoid all human contact outside your home, wash your shopping, wear a mask round your kids, anything. You can do it

What more do you need?

“ I feel like the government is trying to turn us all hard nosed and remove empathy from our society. Why isn’t there more noise about this?”

Well yes, and that’s been the case from the beginning. I’m hugely sympathetic to the way that you are feeling. I had a baby in lockdown, had a toddler, and a husband who was a key worker unable to take paternity leave, and there was absolutely NOTHING in the community for families like mine (there still isn’t, but I’m in a better place now that I can see friends and family), I was made to feel like a feeble whiner on here when I tried to say something about it. It is extremely convenient to the government to have us all turn against each other.

@Bluntness100

I cannot speak for the op but I would like the threat of fines removed as in Wales so that school places do not have to be lost in England.

It is extremely convenient to the government to have us all turn against each other.

100% agree with this.

[quote ChanceEncounter]@Bluntness100

I cannot speak for the op but I would like the threat of fines removed as in Wales so that school places do not have to be lost in England.[/quote]
Isn’t that having your cake an eating it though? You want to hold the school place but not use it?

@Bluntness100

Isn't furlough just having your cake and eating it though? You want to stay at home but get your wages?

It's a strange situation, this pandemic, that's for certain.

Why do you begrudge a child a short period of grace? If you are happy that school is right then why begrudge another family? Basic spitefulness is what it looks like, to be honest.

@SqidgeBum

I dont think its too complicated; if you are vulnerable, it doesnt make much sense to come in direct contact with people who have extra exposure, whether thats nurses and doctors, or teachers and kids in school, or people who work in care homes. I am not sure what 'support' you would be looking for. You just make a decision to be careful, or you dont.

Great advice! So I should not come in contact with my son? I'm really pissed off at gov pushing for everyone to be back regardless of circumstances.

Id be looking for minimal support: don't bug me with attendance and let me/school sort out the academic stuff. BUT...atm... school has to bug me with attendance and we have to play cat/mouse with "quarantine" that we both know is false.

Fines are appalling and there should be the means for schools and parents to make individual decisions to ensure the safety of those who need it.

It isnt the same as furlough though - that is not having your cake and eating it. Worrying about your job and losing it and the industry isnt having you cake and eating it. Making the analogy is just as spiteful.

@Quartz2208

Fines are appalling and there should be the means for schools and parents to make individual decisions to ensure the safety of those who need it.

It isnt the same as furlough though - that is not having your cake and eating it. Worrying about your job and losing it and the industry isnt having you cake and eating it. Making the analogy is just as spiteful.

I don't see how worrying about a job is more important than worrying about a child.

Anyone telling a parent of a vulnerable child to give up a school place is being spiteful imo.

Also anyone saying schools had to be open due to children's mental health, but not also accepting that ecv children might be better off at home and not distancing from parents, due to their mental health, makes me angry.

This. The worry about mental health of kids only goes one way - transparently something the government actually don't care about at all but are using to justify their godawful back to school (lack of) plans.

It undoubtedly is more stressful for a child to be cut off from physical contact from their parents than not in school.

Some children (mine) are also very anxious about being in school during a pandemic but quite happy being homeschooled. Unfortunately since there's no homeschool provision and we'll lose our place if they don't go, they have to. But literally zero fucks about the mental health damage in this sense. Also apparently zero fucks about the mental health damage to children who have parents ill with covid / long covid. Not to mention those kids who've been bereaved because of how awfully the government has handled this.

This site is strange. It swung from being hysterical about covid to start with to now being really dismissive of vulnerable people. I don't understand it.

Sorry @ChanceEncounter I realise that I didnt make it clear what I meant. Neither is having your cake and eating it - both are awful side effects of this pandemic.

Anyone telling a parent of a vulnerable child to give up a school place is being spiteful imo.

yes it is but so is

Isn't furlough just having your cake and eating it though? You want to stay at home but get your wages?

We shouldnt be comparing the two they are both highly stressful situations.

We should be focused on the one thing that is wrong with all of this which is that the government are not allowing for schools and parents together to keep those who need to safe

@sunseekin I’ve found groups on Facebook to be far, far more supportive than on MN sadly.
You’re not alone. It’s very sad to see so little empathy for parents who have serious illnesses, or even children who do. I don’t fall in those categories, am just concerned and have vulnerable parents /grandparents, but will do all I can to support all parents to have a choice, and for schools to have more support. Not sure how to help? When there are polls asking about going back to school, how about not immediately ticking “all children should be in school now!”
That’s a way of supporting those families who are making horrendous choices, or who have none at the moment because of work or fines.

@Quartz2208

Sorry *@ChanceEncounter* I realise that I didnt make it clear what I meant. Neither is having your cake and eating it - both are awful side effects of this pandemic.

Anyone telling a parent of a vulnerable child to give up a school place is being spiteful imo.

yes it is but so is

Isn't furlough just having your cake and eating it though? You want to stay at home but get your wages?

We shouldnt be comparing the two they are both highly stressful situations.

We should be focused on the one thing that is wrong with all of this which is that the government are not allowing for schools and parents together to keep those who need to safe

I think furlough was right, I was just trying to point out to the pp that there have been strange/new responses to the difficulties thrown up by Covid.

Do you think we are just all misunderstanding each other?

@Pixel77

This site is strange. It swung from being hysterical about covid to start with to now being really dismissive of vulnerable people. I don't understand it.

We are going through a massive system shock.

Imo people struggling to cope with the scale, length, impact and continued uncertainty are starting to diverge in their response.

Many are rationalising - we have to get on with it, we have to live with it, we need to get back to normal, it's not that bad, it's no worse than flu... This soothes the worry and fear away.

So when someone says 'I'm scared my child might get really ill' that makes people stressed, and they want to shut it down. Empathy requires you to understand how someone else feels. You can't do that whilst simultaneously telling yourself 'there is nothing to worry about'.

We're all shitting ourselves! Because no one knows what's coming next.

[quote duffeldaisy]@sunseekin I’ve found groups on Facebook to be far, far more supportive than on MN sadly.
You’re not alone. It’s very sad to see so little empathy for parents who have serious illnesses, or even children who do. I don’t fall in those categories, am just concerned and have vulnerable parents /grandparents, but will do all I can to support all parents to have a choice, and for schools to have more support. Not sure how to help? When there are polls asking about going back to school, how about not immediately ticking “all children should be in school now!”
That’s a way of supporting those families who are making horrendous choices, or who have none at the moment because of work or fines.[/quote]
This is exactly how I feel! Have switched more to boycott return to unsafe schools on Facebook - welcome other recommendations!
I try and come back here every now and then to balance the vitriol - hate to think of somebody stumbling on all of what goes on here and think that it reflects the world.
We might be a minority but we seem to be quite a smart, empathetic and kind one.
Thanks for your lovely comment.

Reading that article today really made me think of what so many are going through right now. It feels like the government want to make us believe it’s gone away for as long as possible.
Thanks again, so many lovely people on here too. I’m all about a few good friends anyway so still glad to have popped on here over the last month. Have got support and hopefully made some people feel supported.

[quote duffeldaisy]@sunseekin I’ve found groups on Facebook to be far, far more supportive than on MN sadly.
You’re not alone. It’s very sad to see so little empathy for parents who have serious illnesses, or even children who do. I don’t fall in those categories, am just concerned and have vulnerable parents /grandparents, but will do all I can to support all parents to have a choice, and for schools to have more support. Not sure how to help? When there are polls asking about going back to school, how about not immediately ticking “all children should be in school now!”
That’s a way of supporting those families who are making horrendous choices, or who have none at the moment because of work or fines.[/quote]
And similar here - grandparent worries here, a society that is trying to make me leave my mother alone for the winter or take unnecessary risks with her health isn’t the society that I’m proud of.
That’s before turning my attention to how much is still unknown about how this virus affects everybody.

Yes, we need to get on with it, but also protect the vulnerable surely.