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Original poster

Back to school & elderly relatives

32 replies

Chewbecca · 03/09/2020 21:41

DS back to school in yr 12, so, effectively is in a bubble with at least 150 others.

I'm starting to wonder if it is irresponsible to see his elderly GPs now, has anyone any thoughts or stats about this?

The area we live in has an infection rate of about 10 per 100,000 (and rising) so neither very high, nor very low.

OP posts:
Spinakker · 03/09/2020 21:45

I'm wondering this also. Maybe should not see them before half term ? See how things go ? I have no answers

Spied · 03/09/2020 21:49

I've been worrying about this issue.
I actually took DC for a long weekend visit to grandparents last weekend before school started so they had spent time with DC as I'm not sure I'll be taking them for a while.
I'm thinking a short visit in a month or so ( DC are used to seeing grandparents weekly but I'm just not comfortable now.

cantkeepawayforever · 03/09/2020 21:52

As a teacher, i was in school from 1st June.

I quarantined for 2 weeks after term before going to see my elderly parents.

I have now returned to work , so will not see my parents again until the next holiday of at least 2 weeks.

As my DCs are at school / university, they won't see their grandparents either.

We video call them every week.

MadameBlobby · 03/09/2020 21:54

We are only seeing them outside now. We’ve been back 3 weeks and are in Greater Glasgow but in different areas to the ones that have had more restrictions.

Original poster
Chewbecca · 03/09/2020 21:54

We do weekly usually too.

Even if they don't see DS, DH has to see MIL I think, she's alone and he's a big part of her support - taking her shopping and stuff. And I guess if he's seeing her, DS may as well anyway.

But imagine the guilt if DS brought home the virus and passed it to his granny?

I've only started thinking about it today (since DS told me about school) & am getting in a bit of a tizzy thinking about it.

OP posts:
MadameBlobby · 03/09/2020 21:56

Why don’t you get them to wear a mask at least @Chewbecca? Might help a bit

BlackLambAndGreyFalcoln · 03/09/2020 22:00

Presumably unless you're in a support bubble (that is assuming you're in England?) with the elderly relatives; you and DC would be socially distant from your relatives?

GingerandTilly · 03/09/2020 22:01

This is what worries me. I care for my elderly Mum but teach a bubble of 30 and my two kids are in their own separate bubbles of 30 and 28. I’m terrified in infecting her as she’s nearly eighty but it’s not like we can’t see her at all because she relies on us for shopping, prescriptions, travel to medical appointments etc and has no one else.

Original poster
Chewbecca · 03/09/2020 22:01

I think I just need to adjust to another phase.

We've not gone to the office and DS has obvs been home since March so we had re-introduced pretty normal family visits, mostly in the garden, but not worrying too much anymore as our circles and inside interactions have been so minimal.

OP posts:
MadameBlobby · 03/09/2020 22:02

If you are outside and can keep distance I’d be ok with that

Thneedville · 03/09/2020 22:06

In a support bubble for my mum. We will go back to keeping a distance once school starts again, for a while at least, keeping an eye on the national and local rates of infection.

Monkey1111 · 03/09/2020 22:11

I’m a teacher with 2 school age children. I’m exposed to a bubble of 50 children and 8 staff in my team. My son has just started secondary in a bubble of 270 and my daughter is in primary in a bubble of 90. When you take siblings into consideration that’s a lot of exposure. We will be avoiding elderly relatives for a while until we see how things are panning our over the autumn and winter. It is sad but I don’t want to take the risk at the moment. I teach reception and social distancing is impossible. We have spent a lot of time trying to work out how it is possible to deliver our curriculum in a safe way. I will not leave a child crying at arms length. If they are upset I will cuddle and support them in the safest way possible.

EenyMeenyMinyNo · 03/09/2020 22:12

Same here, my young teen went and stayed with my (late 70's) parents this week prior to returning to school on tuesday. Then I have said we will be steering clear physically for a while, until we see how it pans out. It feels the right thing to do, and they totally understand.

LadyFuschia · 03/09/2020 22:17

We are also keeping our distance as have a year 7 in one school, a year 5 in a primary, DH teaches in another primary and I am a social worker doing face to face visits & in the office once a week.

I’m not much of a worrier but they are 78: one is DH’s mum but her partner isn’t even related to us so I feel we should be responsible & avoid the awful potential situation of guilt / illness.

ohthegoats · 03/09/2020 22:24

Teacher here, bubble of 28. Own child at different school in a bubble of 44. We spent the week on holiday with my parents last week, then my partner took our child to see his parents for the night (they are just out of lockdown). We won't see any of them now other than outside for walks etc, properly (say, in the house), for ages. We are supposed to be going on holiday with his parents at Christmas, but will otherwise will keep ourselves to ourselves over the Christmas holidays so we can see my parents at new year.

Porcupineinwaiting · 03/09/2020 22:24

Mine go back Monday. They wont see grandparents (except outside or on Skype) til Christmas. At Christmas we'll pull them out of school early and self isolate for 2 weeks so we can go visiting.

We all had cv in March/April. Ds1 had v slight symptoms and ds2 none at all (until he got a COVID toe weeks later) so we know it's be easy for them to have it without us knowing.

FraterculaArctica · 03/09/2020 22:28

I am not anticipating seeing kids' elderly GPs or other vulnerable relatives again until spring at the earliest now, too risky I think. So hard to get the GPs to see this though, they have just suggested we meet up for forthcoming milestone birthday with more than 6 people from multiple households present! So now I am the bad guy for saying no 🙄

lifeafter50 · 04/09/2020 03:47

Why not ask the Grandparents? It's their 'risk' -let them decide.

KnobChops · 04/09/2020 06:56

@Porcupineinwaiting

Mine go back Monday. They wont see grandparents (except outside or on Skype) til Christmas. At Christmas we'll pull them out of school early and self isolate for 2 weeks so we can go visiting.

We all had cv in March/April. Ds1 had v slight symptoms and ds2 none at all (until he got a COVID toe weeks later) so we know it's be easy for them to have it without us knowing.

If you all had it why are you worried about getting it again so soon?
KnobChops · 04/09/2020 07:00

We’re just going back to social distancing, that will be sufficient. You don’t need to not see them. A 12 year old can restrain themselves from hugging them. You can also keep an eye on local positive cases via the government covid website. People upthread have mentioned having lots of exposure but in reality there can only be lots of exposure if covid is circulating at reasonable numbers in the community. Where I live (just outside London) there are tiny numbers right now.

KnobChops · 04/09/2020 07:02

@FraterculaArctica

I am not anticipating seeing kids' elderly GPs or other vulnerable relatives again until spring at the earliest now, too risky I think. So hard to get the GPs to see this though, they have just suggested we meet up for forthcoming milestone birthday with more than 6 people from multiple households present! So now I am the bad guy for saying no 🙄
They clearly want to see you and it’s safe to see them if you practice 2 metre social distancing.

A lot of elderly people are really struggling with loneliness and there is also a risk (depending on age etc) that they will die of other illness before seeing their loved ones.

Northernsoullover · 04/09/2020 07:07

We are going back to outdoor visiting for now. My youngest stayed overnight the other night. It will be the last one for a while. The community spread here is low and I feel safe in general. However there are cases of it spreading among family groups and they are definitely getting it from somewhere!

Fortyfifty · 04/09/2020 07:10

I'm taking a cautious approach and won't see older family members any time soon. Let's see how things progress with schools being back. My family don't live nearby though. If you live close then I think meeting up outside is low risk.

But yes, I think families do need to be making these decisions and its not life back to normal yet. Hospitalisation of older people is increasing in France already and I think we will see the same here in the coming month.

ifonly4 · 04/09/2020 08:13

I work in a school and have made a point of seeing my Mum three times over the summer, assuming I wouldn't feel comfortable about putting her at risk, and I don't after going back this week. I'll to back to chats on the doorstep, and perhaps the odd SD walk outside.

Porcupineinwaiting · 04/09/2020 10:23

@KnobChops because early indications show it's at least possible, especially if you had it mildly. What we dont know if not if, but how likely you are to get it again. And 3 out of the 4 grandparents are shielding (and the 4th cares for the 3rd) so it's not exactly as if its low risk.