Is this you?

[MyNameWas]

Do you feel this way? How are you managing to be rationale?

Very nervous about contracting COVID because we (me and husband) have no support here in the UK to cover for my 6 year old daughter.

Happy about school starting as essential for daughters wellbeing however very very worried that I have not slept for 3 days now.

We are lucky to live in an area which has plenty of open spaces and have been using them however petrified of even the thought of walking into a shop or the supermarket or any enclosed space.

I’ve not stopped my husband or daughter however we ventured to the zoo yesterday the crowd was too much for me. Not much SD in places and people generally not being careful. I backed off and sat in the car for 2 1/2 hours while my husband and daughter carried on. When this happens I spend the next 5/6 days thinking that every cough is a sign one of us have caught it.

Not planning anything long term even buying a laptop stand for my work as I keep thinking that once the school starts and people move around more I/we are likely to catch it (possibly even die) therefore what’s the point in planning for ‘future’?

I’ve been working through lockdown at home- really struggling to think how I can talk myself into going into work at some point.

Bless you. Its really tough. I think there is a real split of people of those that have carried on working during the pandemic (in essential shops/supermarkets/schools/hospitals etc) and the rest of us that have just become complete hermits. Be it working at home or homeschooling I would say I was in a very similar position to yourself a month ago. And I knew I was making my mental health worse. So I decided that I needed to get a plan to mitigate risks as best as I could and then take the steps to get back "out there". Now dont get me wrong I still havent gone to a pub or restaurant or anywhere like that (but in honesty I never did before!). But ive started meeting friends in the park with their kids, my daughter has started football training again. I will take my kids to the supermarket now. We have been to mostly outdoor places but again Ive not tried anything like I would have been doing in the usual summer holidays (zoos, beaches etc). But the kids have still had a good time. Ive found making myself pop to the shop beneficial. We also had to attend a couple of hosital appointments which were fine and we felt safe. So my advice you is try baby steps. There is nothing wrong with the local park for now, paddling in a river, throwing sticks under a bridge. Dont put yourself under pressure to go anywhere massive. But honestly I feel so much better this last couple of wekes for taking those steps and getting your child back to school, although another step, will help as you will get a bit of a break and she will be enjoying time with her peers. It will get better.

Oh and I wouldnt make any "future" plans right now. We just dont know whats round the corner - just focus on the present, trying to enjoy those times you have with your family at home and the break from the chaos of society its given us for a while. At some point it will be better, be it a vaccine, cure etc (which are ongoing and more people are being successfully treated - unless you are very very ill or very very elderly the chance of you getting really ill is very small). Try and focus on some other things too and make time for yourself. x

Are you particularly high risk/vulnerable? In a local lockdown area?

If not then I think now is the best time to start gradually gaining confidence out and about doing normal things. In most of the country, coronavirus is at such low levels in the community, you’re probably more likely to be hit by the proverbial bus.

It sounds like this has become more of a phobia/anxiety trigger to you rather than anything based on rational facts or reasoning, hence deciding on the zoo trip but finding it too much when you got there. Even getting back into the workplace will probably help in the long run when you’ve passed the initial hurdle. Maybe seek some help for the anxiety if you feel it’s severe/limiting your life?

But palace girl said it much better than me

No I’m the complete opposite. I’m desperately worried about the economy and education though!

Do you think this has become a bit of a phobia? Statistically you are probably incredibly low risk? Would it be worth talking to your GP about your concerns and they might reassure you? Sitting in the car worrying doesn’t sound a happy place to be xx

Have a look where you and your family sit in this table and then see if you can relax a bit.

Sigh. I've no idea why people keep saying, don't worry you're likely to survive it, as though this is some sort of assurance that it's okay to get Covid.

I don't want to feel horribly ill for weeks on end. I don't want to run the risk of medium or long term complications, up to and including permanent damage to the heart or lungs.

OP, I'm not nearly as careful or concerned as you are, but I do understand. You are entirely right to try to avoid catching it. It's all about trying to find a way that you feel is safe enough for you to re-engage with life. And feeling optimistic enough to plan for the future.
Getting out a bit will help your mental state.

@Malteserdiet

Have a look where you and your family sit in this table and then see if you can relax a bit.

Thats brilliant, will be sharing that!

You sat in your car for 2.5 hours rather than enjoy the zoo with your family?
You need to get your anxiety under control, get some help. Otherwise that will ruin your daughters life, not COVID.

OP. In the kindest way, you need to see a doctor about your anxiety. It is so sad you sat in the car for hours while your family enjoyed the zoo. This is not normal. You need help.

There are so many other illnesses that could make you equally as ill. Have you stopped living for those? I’d rather not get Covid, Flu, Norovirus and the multiple grim childhood illness. We don’t have much family support locally either but life has to go on. I’ve been in hospital with flu, it was horrific but I’m not terrified at home because I might catch it again. I spent 9 months in & out of hospital with Hyperemesis last year. It was HARD with a then toddler. Like really really hard but we battled through. My friends little girl ended up in ICU with chicken pox. A lovely little boy in my village got sepsis from an early infection & lost both limbs.

This isn’t to scare but Covid is such an incredibly low risk illness to most people. There are risks in life constantly. You just need to be rational. And if your anxiety is too much, seek help. Don’t let it ruin your life & time with your children.

@palacegirl77 share away, I am trying to spread the word!

@Sidewinder30

Sigh. I've no idea why people keep saying, don't worry you're likely to survive it, as though this is some sort of assurance that it's okay to get Covid.

I don't want to feel horribly ill for weeks on end. I don't want to run the risk of medium or long term complications, up to and including permanent damage to the heart or lungs.

OP, I'm not nearly as careful or concerned as you are, but I do understand. You are entirely right to try to avoid catching it. It's all about trying to find a way that you feel is safe enough for you to re-engage with life. And feeling optimistic enough to plan for the future.
Getting out a bit will help your mental state.

I feel the same. I’ve had 3 colleagues who had it and every one of them have said they don’t feel like their previous selves (yet). Loss of hair,memory, concentration, low energy etc have been the usual complaints

But op, that is unlucky that you know 3 people. But SO many people have not had that experience. You can't dwell on that. I don't know anyone who has had that experience. I know 1 person personally who has had it, a cousin, she was fine with it and only knew she had it because she got tested due to being in hospital with another illness. She works in a covid ward so not unusual she caught it.

I don't know anyone who has had it. I personally know two people who committed suicide and one who died from an apparent accidental overdose and alcohol. It's crystal clear in my mind that this virus is horrendous but the wider implications are worse.

I have so much sympathy for you in this situation.

You cannot help your feelings but you are really really overreacting and that isn't good for you and it's not good for your DD, if you don't want her to grow up fearful I really hope you seek help for your anxiety.

Life isn't safe, it never has been and there are so many things that are a greater, but still minute, risk to both you and your daughter.

The only PP you have responded to is the person that is telling a tale of illness and long recovery and this is the case for so few people.

If 1 in 2000 has the virus the chance of being exposed is minimal. If you manage to find that 1 in 2000 and then spend a lot of time in close proximity you may get the virus and you will still have a very very small risk of being really poorly - and your DDs is miniscule squared. The new cases are almost exclusively in younger people out socialising and then the older ones are those they live in close proximity to.
Please please get some help, don't stop hand washing or social distancing but beyond that try and live.

All the things that your colleagues have experienced can happen just as often after any viral illness but they don't happen to most people. You probably have other colleagues that have had it without even knowing - maybe even you have.