Friends and family holding baby

[McCheney73]

So I had a baby in lockdown.
He is now 16 weeks old. When he was born only my mum held him as she looked after my 3 year old when I was in hospital and was isolated. She only went out to walk her dogs.
My DS went back to nursery when my baby was 5 weeks old so we were far from isolated from this point.
From then we allowed close friends and family to hold/cuddle him.
Everyone I know who has had a baby in this time has allowed cuddles from day one.
I saw a friend I hadn't seen in a while the other day and she was shocked it took me so long!
So am I in the wrong if anything I feel guilty sometimes allowing cuddles!

This is a complete non-issue! Don’t stress about it!

Fwiw, my niece was born in lockdown and none of us have held her yet. We fully respect that, and I think I’d probably be the same if it was my baby.

I’ve just reread your final paragraph; don’t feel guilty re: allowing occasional cuddles. Like you say, your son going to nursery has exposed your household to lots of other households.

The government guidance says to remain two metres apart from others not in your household. This includes children and babies.

My baby is now 4 months old. None of our friends and family has held him. We did get pushback but we wanted to protect both our baby and those we care about so we haven't allowed it.

Babies are adaptable. It's highly unlikely that, if a baby has love and affection and attention from one or two parents, this is going to have any adverse effects.

You could stop the cuddles now that friends and family have had one. Who is it benefitting - is your child really getting that much out of being held by a virtual stranger (to them), or is this to placate friends and family and make you feel less guilty?

I'd allow close family who are low risk to hold the baby, but not a raft of friends. He won't have had all his jabs at 5 weeks for one thing, there is more than just covid risk as there is still rotavirus, measles, chickenpox etc etc etc. For you to pass a baby between people means getting very close, it is certainly against covid guidelines; allowing that for your mum is quite different than all your mates because where an action has a small risk each additional person isn't the same risk, it adds to the risk.

@p0rridge I wouldn't really say that family members are a stranger to the baby. Yes in some cases they may be, but many families are close to their family members and therefore will not be a stranger to the baby.

It is your choice, op.
But most people I know who have had a baby have let family and very close friends hold them. I am due a niece / nephew soon and we've been told we won't be allowed to hold. It makes me really sad but I respect their decision.

@Yetiyoga in the future, no - but right now the baby knows its parents and feels safe with its parents. Unless family members and friends have been around constantly since day 1 (which is unlikely to have been the case in lockdown, barring OP's mum for childcare reasons), to the child they're virtual strangers.

Hi, congratulations! I have a 15 week old. Only grandparents have held my daughter so far....we have seen cousins and aunties and uncles etc but none held her yet. My niece has had a quick cuddle. I am planning on visiting my grandparents next week so they can have a cuddle before my older 2 go back to school, they are desperate to meet her. A friend had a baby a week before me and she is much more relaxed and let's anyone hold her, but that's her choice

@MRex

I'd allow close family who are low risk to hold the baby, but not a raft of friends. He won't have had all his jabs at 5 weeks for one thing, there is more than just covid risk as there is still rotavirus, measles, chickenpox etc etc etc. For you to pass a baby between people means getting very close, it is certainly against covid guidelines; allowing that for your mum is quite different than all your mates because where an action has a small risk each additional person isn't the same risk, it adds to the risk.

I wasn't clear in my post but he certainly hasn't been passed around. Like 2 people a week if that and my group of friends is very small as is my family and people I trust and know what they are doing. I get the jabs thing but covid aside this would be the case in normal times?

Yes, exactly, even in normal times you should ideally not be passing very young babies around a load of different people, even "2 people a week".

Given SD is still in place no one outside your household should be having that close contact.

Pre Covid we let close family hold ours as long as not ill but held off more with friends etc until the jabs had been done.

@McCheney73

So I had a baby in lockdown. He is now 16 weeks old. When he was born only my mum held him as she looked after my 3 year old when I was in hospital and was isolated. She only went out to walk her dogs. My DS went back to nursery when my baby was 5 weeks old so we were far from isolated from this point. From then we allowed close friends and family to hold/cuddle him. Everyone I know who has had a baby in this time has allowed cuddles from day one. I saw a friend I hadn't seen in a while the other day and she was shocked it took me so long! So am I in the wrong if anything I feel guilty sometimes allowing cuddles!

You do what you think is right and your friend can do what she thinks is right.

FWIW I also have a lockdown baby and we have let close family hold her (parents, grandparents) but not extended family (aunts, uncles, great aunts etc.)

My parents will be providing childcare so they will have to hold baby. Or it would be a nursery with random strangers holding baby.

I know its against the guidelines. (Don't get me started on them)
I've allowed it for my mental health and others but still guilty.
Our social group is small as is family.
Only my mum and my good friend is in regular contact and it's not daily.
I know a lot of people who have gone back to normal I feel like I'm behind hence why I posted.

Who knows when social distancing will come a thing of the pass which is also why I've allowed it...