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Original poster

Teenage sleepover

22 replies

Hellvelyn · 26/08/2020 23:58

Dd is sixteen in September. A week or so after she goes back to school. She has 4 close girlfriends and wants to eat out with them and then return home and sleepover. I'm quite confused by current guidance about who can mix with whom.
What do you think? The girls will already have been in contact at school and whilst eating out. DH and I will both have returned to our jobs in separate high schools and we have an older DS who goes to the same school as dd and friends. It doesn't feel right to me - bringing people from 5 separate families together. DD tells me pictures of sleepovers have been posted on social media right through the summer break. What are your thoughts please.

OP posts:

Uhoh2020 · 27/08/2020 00:06

do you have a big garden? You could hire a big party teepee thing that's kitted out with separate beds ideal for sleepovers they're quite the rage at the moment. Probably quite expensive though

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 27/08/2020 00:13

I didn’t think five households could mix indoors or eating out so it would be a no from me. Separate tents in the garden and eating outdoors distanced would be different.

LilyPond2 · 27/08/2020 00:30

Assuming you are in England and not in an area under local lockdown, it wouldn't be illegal to have the friends stay over, but it would be against the guidance (which says no more than two households should meet indoors at a time). I wouldn't be comfortable with it, but plenty of parents have different attitudes. My 17-year-old DD has been invited to an indoor party at a friend's house tomorrow. We live just a few miles from an area in local lockdown due to scary infection rates...

CKBJ · 27/08/2020 08:22

It would go against the guidance for the meal and sleepover.

Ridiculous when they will be meeting at school. Parts of the guidance doesn’t support other parts eg your Dd will no doubt meet 4 friends at school, very likely have lunch together but not allowed to have a meal out together. This is going to and no doubt is causing a huge headache for parents I can hear the teens arguing their point now!
No easy answers

Morfin · 27/08/2020 08:30

@CKBJ

It would go against the guidance for the meal and sleepover.

And who could blame them, it's OK to be in an unventilated classroom with no handwashing or social distancing for six hours a day meeting hundreds of people, but not for a few friends for a sleepover.

HipTightOnions · 27/08/2020 08:53

And who could blame them, it's OK to be in an unventilated classroom with no handwashing or social distancing for six hours a day meeting hundreds of people, but not for a few friends for a sleepover.

However, the idea was that if everyone outside schools was really careful and stuck to the guidance, then it would be just about safe to reopen schools.

What could possible go wrong?

RandomTree · 27/08/2020 08:59

I have almost the same issue for my DD's birthday OP, except that she only wants to invite two friends, but that's still against current guidelines. As they'll be mixing at school anyway I have said it's ok.

HipTightOnions · 27/08/2020 10:18

As they'll be mixing at school anyway I have said it's ok.

This is the problem though. They will only be ok at school if they (and we, all of us) are not mixing elsewhere.

I can see how it looks to a teenager but education is supposed to be the priority.

Jrobhatch29 · 27/08/2020 10:21

My 10 year old niece has been having sleepovers for weeks with about 6 at a time. Not saying I agree because I don't and then they wonder why I won't let them hold my baby. However once schools are back I wouldnt blame people for having sleepovers with kids they are mixing with all day anyway

HipTightOnions · 27/08/2020 10:27

However once schools are back I wouldnt blame people for having sleepovers with kids they are mixing with all day anyway

See above.

Jrobhatch29 · 27/08/2020 10:28

@HipTightOnions

However once schools are back I wouldnt blame people for having sleepovers with kids they are mixing with all day anyway

See above.

Or hold off on the patronising

frustrationcentral · 27/08/2020 10:28

It is hard. We haven't allowed more than one friend to stay at a time and DS1(16) is yet to go to any indoor parties or stay at friends in a group

He asked if tonight he could have two friends stay - one was already staying and the other wouldn't be able to get home from meeting up today so DS asked if he could stay too. I said no as that's against the guidelines. He pointed out that come next week they're starting college together and will be in much bigger groups, which I get but it still doesn't feel right...

latticechaos · 27/08/2020 10:31

This is why there is a very low chance of schools staying open.

It is against guidance for a reason.

latticechaos · 27/08/2020 10:31

Also in general sharing a tent is NOT low risk.

latticechaos · 27/08/2020 10:34

He pointed out that come next week they're starting college together and will be in much bigger groups, which I get but it still doesn't feel right...

Yes, but for example he won't pass any items across to other pupils at school.

I think the airborne transmission is being downplayed, but droplets and touch are probably not too bad in school.

They will be discouraged from huddling at school.

GetUpAgain · 27/08/2020 10:37

She is about to turn 16, she is in the crappest year having missed loads of school but GCSE exams looming, she has a nice plan for a few friends to sleep over. I would allow it assuming none of them are vulnerable.

HipTightOnions · 27/08/2020 10:37

Or hold off on the patronising

Do you have an opinion on what I said though? That is how it was supposed to work!

Teachers are not allowed in the staff room and are being told they should not have the freedoms that are allowed for everyone else.

Original poster

Hellvelyn · 27/08/2020 11:53

Thanks so much for your thoughts everyone. Food for thought..... I also wanted to make sure I wasn't suggesting anything completely outrageous. I think I'm going to see how return to school goes next week and see whether any more advice emerges from Boris. We are a family of 4 and will be milling around three different High schools from next week. Over lockdown and the summer break we've followed all the guidance, have only beem out locally and avoided mixing with others. Feels a bit scary to be launching back into an inevitably crowded, busy environment again.

OP posts:

Jrobhatch29 · 27/08/2020 12:18

@HipTightOnions

Or hold off on the patronising

Do you have an opinion on what I said though? That is how it was supposed to work!

Teachers are not allowed in the staff room and are being told they should not have the freedoms that are allowed for everyone else.

I literally said in my post I don't agree with my niece having sleepovers or others but can see why people would still do it. I'm a teacher and we are allowed to use our staffroom. Not that anyone does anyway.

HipTightOnions · 27/08/2020 12:22

Crossed wires perhaps, but you said you wouldn’t blame them Jrobhatch29. I would, I think.

But I accept I am anxious at the moment.

Spied · 27/08/2020 12:30

It'd be a 'No' from me.
Meal out possibly but I'd not be happy with 5 extra people from different households all sleeping over in close proximity and using our bathroom etc.
Too much too soon for me.
One friend maybe.

RedskyAtnight · 27/08/2020 12:45

Will they be mixing at school?

Schools will be trying to enforce social distancing during break times and in corridors and she may not be in any classes (or sitting the other end of the room) from her friends.
If she's sitting next to them in every single class, then very different.

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