What an awful situation for you both.
Depression is such an awful illness. I was in a similar situation to you last year. My amazing dh was very depressed and was suffering from awful anxiety. It was heartbreaking to see him like it. In my experience it was almost as bad to watch someone you love go through it, as it was for him actually having it. Life was turned upside down for both of us, and it seemed to come from out of the blue. My dh’s depression was caused by work stress also....long hrs, very physical. He works for himself, but never felt he could turn work down, so just took on far too much.
We needed to face it head on, and I took him to the drs several times until we got his medication right. The coronavirus situation has actually put things into perspective for him. He suddenly had no work, and we had to tighten our belts. I had to take on more work, but we are doing much better now. He is working again, but we are being very careful not to go too far with it. He is so much happier.
The depression may surface again, and we are very aware of that. I now know the triggers, and the signs. It’s a learning process for me still.
Op, until you both face this head on, and get him out of that toxic environment, he will be suffering with this.
I really feel for you, it’s so worrying. Constantly tell your dh how grateful you are to have him how proud you are that he is still trying his best, even though he is dealing with these feelings. Give him lots of reassurance that you are here for him, and this is not his fault. This is an illness, and just like with any other serious illness he needs to be treated properly.
Be proactive. Make sure he doesn’t go to work tomorrow. Take him to the gp urgently. Make some calls tomorrow and get some advice on what you are entitled to financially.
You can do this. Lots of luck to you both.