Friends birthday meal- how many allowed?

[Orchidflower1]

My lovely and normally quite sensible friend is having a milestone birthday this weekend. I had originally planned to pop around to hers and take a bottle of bubbles for a social distanced catch up on her patio.

However she called earlier and asked if I was free later on in the day instead. I said yes - great says the birthday girl you can come to my birthday meal. I knew she’d got a meal booked with her husband and although Im good friends I didn’t want to be a third wheel.

I explain this to my friend who says “ don’t worry orchid you won’t be the odd one out I’ve got my parents and some of the work girls coming too, bring dh too”

I was a bit shocked so I just said “ erm ok I’ll let you know if we can get a sitter” Now have I got things wrong, I’ve been trying to keep up to date with regulations and I’ve barely been going out but I thought it was 6 people who could meet? This would be a group of 14???!!!

So do I challenge it? Decline? Discuss what on earth is going on?

Before all that can someone just tell me I’m not crackers and it is only 6 that can meet in a restaurant?

It’s not 6 inside, it’s two households.

Current guidance...

You should:

only socialise indoors with members of up to 2 households ‒ this includes when dining out or going to the pub
socialise outdoors in a group of up to 6 people from different households or up to 2 households (anyone in your support bubble counts as one household)
not hold or attend celebrations (such as parties) where it is difficult to maintain social distancing and avoid close social interaction – even if they are organised by businesses and venues that are taking steps to follow COVID-19 secure guidelines
only stay overnight with your household (including your support bubble) and one other household
limit social interaction with anyone outside the group you are attending a place with, even if you see other people you know, for example, in a restaurant, community centre or place of worship
try to limit the number of people you see, especially over short periods of time, to keep you and them safe, and save lives. The more people with whom you interact, the more chances we give the virus to spread

www.gov.uk/guidance/meeting-people-from-outside-your-household-from-4-july

I personally don’t think it’s your place to challenge it, live and let live. But decline if you don’t feel comfortable.

@Orchidflower1 I don't know any restaurants in my town that would take a booking for more than 6 people.

Thanks all.

@Babs709

I totally wouldn’t challenge it- if it was mine / dh family then that would be different but as “just” a friend, it’s different.

@Shelley54
Yes I’m surprised she’s got booked up. It’s a curry house where they have the lazy Susan in the middle for sharing too! That has probably gone though since I last went.

Tbh I find the whole thing anxiety inducing. I’m going to politely decline. If she asks why I shall tell her though.

Have found a few places that are taking booking for more then 6 and doesn’t state about only being 2 households

I got invited to a baby shower with 22 other people. LOL.

Surly pregnant ladies are higher risk.

I was very annoyed I was put in the situation where I had to say erm? Haven’t you heard there is a pandemic.

I declined.

OP. don’t go if your not comfortable.

LJZRBB You were annoyed that you had to remind your friend there was a pandemic? Think you caused that annoyance yourself because unless she lives in a cave, you didn’t need to remind her. They’re guidelines, people can ignore them if they wish. I could understand your annoyance if you’d been made to feel guilty/bad for saying no but policing other people’s comfort levels isn’t necessary.

OP - only mentioned challenging because you asked. Definitely don’t go if it gives you anxiety, any real friend would understand.

We went out as a family for 3 joint milestone birthdays the other day.

7 of us over 4 households.

Restaurant accepted booking 🤷‍♀️

I've also forgotten what we are and aren't meant to do!

I only meet my family indoors and when meeting others always outside or 1 other family if we go for coffee or something inside.

Oh except for ds swimming club where we have 30 swimmers max (can have 48) and 2 coaches, a lifeguard and the Covid liaison in the pool area.

I do think people are forgetting or unsure of the rules.

I know a friend of mine had a birthday party inside a restaurant for 11 people from 6 households. Nobody batted an eyelid apparently. Luckily for me I was on shift so didn't have to make a decision about whether not to attend.

A relative is going on holiday soon in UK with four friends, all from different households. I don't think it's even occurred to her that she might be breaking the rules. All staying in same accommodation so not separate hotel rooms.

I cannot be arsed to police other people - I just do me.

Lots aren't following as strictly in their
own houses and gardens
Most places here are only allowing bookings of 6 although some mpre i had to ring restaurant other day to book for 8 of us and it was accepted but was genuinely 2 households
Scotland seem to be able to meet up with more people but not sure jow many households ? He doesn't seem to of changes this guideline for a while and a lot pf people are doing what they feel comfortable with
We went away shared accommodation with friends planned before covid ,2 households but 7 people so i assumed going. By guidelines as 2 households was ok bit had people telling me i was breaking rules ???
If you don't feel comfortable decline which is understandable

Surly pregnant ladies are higher risk.

Are happy pregnant ladies at lower risk?

In England, 6 people outdoors, 2 households indoors

I wouldn’t be going

@MintyMabel

Thanks all. I’m going to decline. Others invited haven’t confirmed I’ve found out this morning. It feels like it’s “ uncool” to follow the rules and it totally shouldn’t be like that. I feel like I’m back at school being the one doing the right thing and being laughed at.

Actually our family of 7 may count as 2 households!

2 are children.

My sibling has just returned to living with my parents and the other 1 is the support bubble with them for childcare.

So I guess 4 ad and 1 child could be one household and me and ds the other

Our tiny family group (DH and me, 2DS, and elderly father) tots up to 4 households! - Christmas is going to be very different this year.

You can sit on separate tables quite within the law. Most restaurants are limiting to 6 or 8 at a table anyway. To be honest I am not worrying about these things anymore, but I've had covid so think I'm most likely immune (been exposed since and didn't catch). We are doing a lunch that's technically 3 households at same table but all family

@MereDintofPandiculation

Similar here, my DD's are university students and their "home" address is their fathers, my parents plus 2 brothers = 6 households, 7 if dp's dd comes. We have decided mental health is more important now

A lot of places are doing only 6 as it saves moving furniture about in the resturant for quicker turn arounds.

Well I would think that any restaurant accepting bookings for 14 is also going to be pretty lax with other safety aspects such as staff wearing facemasks or visors, any form of social distancing, ventilation, track and trace records etc. Food hygiene might not be particularly high on their priority list either if staff and customer safety doesn't bother them.

I wouldn't be going and I'd not be very impressed with a friend organising this.