It's changed me for the worst

[Melonslicexx]

Just that really. Not the virus itself. But the lockdown. It's really knocked the confidence out of me. I'm abit phobic of going out now. I can go for walks and I've coped on short drives and a couple of hours out with the kids. But that's it. I've not been in a shop. I don't think I will either unless it's an emergency. Its all in my head but masks just make me feel so anxious and self conscious. I can't be bothered to go to town for this reason. It wouldn't be enjoyable. Especially with everyone watching everyone else's behaviour and judging.

I've also lost my fitness. I'm sluggish. My back and neck muscles are so tight and sore. I've got no energy.

I wake up most days thinking great another long pointless day.

I've had to cancel my DD swimming lessons because they can't go in the pool with her now. So all the money we wasted last year for her to not be able to continue. I've not been able to potty train my son because he's not ready to focus on it and that's because he's got a sibling home running about with him. I've also not been able to give him the one on one and find a nursery for him this summer or a child minder. He's not been to playgroup either. I feel he's missed our massively on being s toddler.

Just hate what this has done to me. I have spoken to my doctor but we've agreed pills are not the answer as they are short term. So he's offered me councilling but the list is huge so it won't be in time for September when I'll be a wreck about school runs.

Anyone out there feeling the same? I've wrote this in the hope of people who understand and I hope people don't turn on me because I'm genuinely sad

Hi op

Sorry to hear you’re feeling anxious and low triggered by this stupid bloody lockdown!

I lead a v similar life to the one I did before as am really outdoorsy and never go much. To shops or cafes. Just enjoy nature and I take a flask and snacks anyway as am watching my pennies .

Re your fitness - I actually improved mine in lockdown by stopping gym and walking more. Can you aim for 45 mins minimum a day plus 3 resistance workouts ? Free on a YouTube ...

Re face mask I absolutely hate and resent them too. I keep a light scarf thing in bag and put that on if I have to go in somewhere .

Take care - create yourself a routine again and you will feel better am sure xxx

@HermioneMakepeace

Everyone is suffering. It's not just you. Lots of people have it worse. Sometimes I think you just have to count your blessings.

That is not helpful. Just because someone else that the OP doesnt know might have it worse, doesnt make it any better for OP.

You could say the same about any problem. "My mum died", "Why are you complaining, some people have lost both parents. Count your blessings"

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way.

I don’t think you can continue how you are until counselling happens as, like you say, it’ll be a long wait. I would recommend looking into some books about anxiety (the “understanding anxiety” range are really good and based on cbt. There’s one for health anxiety but not sure if it would be relevant to Covid).

Honestly I also think you need to try some mindfulness, it will help to stop your thoughts from spiralling. Ultimately if you aren’t shielding or vulnerable, then saying you won’t go into a shop again unless it’s an emergency is quite an extreme reaction, it’s a catastrophising thought pattern and I think you need to put some work into trying to challenge and break it rather than waiting for counselling.

Best of luck.

Have you tried wearing a mask at home? Get used to the feel of it and whether you need ties - and if you wear glasses how best to stop them steaming up!

Most people aren't judging. If they're looking at you they're almost certainly assessing distance and/or trying to work out which way you're about to avoid them!

Try to find some exercise you can do at home - loosen and stretch those tight muscles.

It might seem like hard work, but think of it this way: it's giving you something to do, so that you don't wake up thinking Pointless Day. Make the point of today finding some exercises.

Oh also it sounds like what you struggle with a lot is the physical symptoms of anxiety, basically the fight or flight syndrome, you can get lightheaded because blood redirects to other parts of your body (I think) and dizzy for the same reason. The sickness, digestive issues etc is probably also due to release of adrenaline - your body has perceived a threat (“going into a shop - what if I feel funny in the shop/with my friend? Wearing a mask will make me feel panicky”) and so your brain releases adrenaline and you get the symptoms.

Speak to your GP about beta blockers, I cannot stress this enough. They are a medication used to treat other things as well as anxiety but essentially they “block” the release of adrenaline in your brain and stop the physical symptoms. You take them as and when you need them. I have experienced no side effects. I had the same worries about medication as you do, and I’ve now been prescribed propranolol since 2015 and I find it so helpful.

You say if you didn’t have that tight feeling in your chest you would feel ok, seriously I would recommend you ask your GP about beta blockers.

I've heard about beta blockers. Is there a reason the gp didn't offer me them? That's exactly the part I'm suffering with the most. In my head I'm not depressed but my body doing these things is what's making me struggle. I end up associating people and places with panic and I really want that to stop.

Same here.
Fatter and fed up.
Looking forward to going back to work (teacher) next week, but dreading any SD/mask nonsense being imposed tho' so far indications are that they won't be in my school.

I'm a bit similar op. I have an ibs issue and the lack of public loos in lockdown has prevented me going to certain places. Even now it's still not back to normal and it's affected me mentally with anxiety. The longer I stay in the harder it is to go out and I end up needing the loo because I'm so fixated on it!!!! It's horrible.