I’ve written on here before, but I’m in a bad way.
My current area is on local lockdown (near Greater Manchester) with no update on when the restrictions will be lifted again.
My mental health is very bad at the moment. I have felt suicidal a couple of times lately.
I have a 2 year old son and have/had PND too. I also have regular panic attacks.
My partner has been around since the start of lockdown, but is due back to work full time in September, all being well.
I was planning on going to my in laws regularly, so as to not be on my own with my DS, as I’m very much struggling to cope and specifically with the thoughts of self harm and suicide, I’m worried I’ll be a harm to myself and inadvertently him.
My in laws are happy for me to go round there during the day, as if I have company and I’m not alone, I’m less likely to feel these things and slip into a dark hole. Coping with a toddler at the best of times is hard, but even harder at the moment. No playgroups and none of the usual activities that were keeping me afloat previously.
The problem comes in that we are not allowed to mix households unless in s support bubble. I’ve spoken to my doctor and he said he thinks it’ll be a good idea and I’ve spoken to a local mental health charity that I use regularly too, they have peer support groups and a helpline, they also support my decision.
The current ‘law’ has exemptions for vulnerable people needing help and assistance. I feel I fall into this catogery currently. But I’m wondering if there’s a way I can get ‘permission’ officially. Maybe from calling 101? I’m pretty desperate now and as September looms I’ll do anything really. But I don’t want to get a fine/get into trouble/get a criminal record or get my in laws into trouble.
Please be kind, even if you don’t agree with what I’m trying to do. I’m really struggling.