Waves of sadness/disbelief/dread: how do you cope?

[Blueflowersgreenflowers]

I keep getting waves of just feeling awful about the whole Covid situation.

The (most likely ) terribly winter to come, the disruption to education, work, family, social life. I am lucky to be healthy, in work and secure housing but even so I’m starting to find it all too much.

How do others manage with these feelings? I was doing ok up until recently, but it’s all starting to feel endless

Terrible not terribly!

I follow the stats. Not the BBC. The stats from oxford professors/ ONS are looking pretty good. Hospital admissions are it it’s lowest. COVID wards are closing down and COVID deaths are still on a downwards trajectory.

Respiratory deaths are at a ten year low because people are washing their hands and following guidelines.

Many doctors are saying they suspect seasonal flu ect will be really low because of the guidelines for COVID.

Just follow the stats.

I try to focus on one day at a time with half an eye on the next few months.

I have two disabled children so try to live in the present and enjoy small moments of joy as the future is pretty scary for us anyway!

I look at all the positives that have come out of this. There are many, personal to us and very subtle - small in someways but huge in others.

Usually I’m a very glass half empty kind of person. At the moment I’m coping this by being the other way. Not forcing it.

There will be positives. There always are.

Thanks all, that is helpful. It comes in waves, I don’t always feel like that. And there have been positives along the way.

Will try to focus on the stats too!
The news gives the impression these are worsening every day but I guess you just need to look a bit closer...

I do not watch the news. I had to stop.

I live with others who will tell me any headlines. Then I follow it up or not. I feel a lot better.

I currently look at it like this: There has been a huge drop in infection across the country since April. Increases at the moment are being dealt with locally to stop another boom. I'm not going to follow that particular rollercoaster of news coverage.

We will get through winter albeit Christmas will be severely curtailed. I'm adjusting to that ahead of time. Flu will be down surely! Treatments for covid are already improved. Spring will come and some form of vaccine will be here. Life will normalise.

That's the rough outline of what keeps me from misery anyway!

has anyone got link to stats?

I’m managing by focusing on what we can do. Total diversion tactics! So, I’ve just ordered a few board games and card games we can enjoy playing together in the evenings. I’m planning to get some outdoor fairy lights so we can keep doing things on our street with the neighbours’ children like bubbles and sidewalk chalks to see people safely even when it’s colder/darker.

Dd (4) and I have been planning how we can do socially distanced trick and treats - we’re going to peg treats in packets on a washing line! We will go out and look at lights/ hopefully people will do a trail of pictures in windows. We’ll hopefully all do carol singing in our doorways instead of going round houses, etc.

We’re trying to have nice plans even if there is a lot of disruption.

I hope carol singing outdoors takes off.

The newspapers want to keep you reading so they’ll say anything to get your attention. Saying that things aren’t too worrying at the moment, that the statistics are showing that Covid is losing it’s potency and that things are on the up, does not suit their narrative. I stopped reading the newspapers about 2 months ago and am leading a much happier life because of it. I think the media, in general, have behaved shockingly during this situation. All the panic buying and hysteria are down to them. The “News” used to be just that, now it’s something very different altogether and I don’t think it’s very nice.

I would say focus on your daily life at the moment. What can you do today that you would enjoy? Make a nice lunch, go for a walk, watch a favourite tv programme etc. You can drive yourself into despair if you think about worse case scenarios for everything, which you can’t control and most likely won’t happen anyway. Think about what you can do today to enjoy life instead (and obviously follow reasonable precautions at the same time).

I am trying to just enjoy summer and as much normality as possible, we don’t know what will happen this winter so I will deal with it as it happens. Try not to think too far ahead just take one day at a time. Sorry you are feeling sad.

Thanks again all - this is really cheering me up actually. Like the thought of doing small things that I can control - like fairy lights, plans for cosy indoor activities etc. Better than mourning the things I can’t do!

I'm planning to plant some bulbs up. Hyacinths then tulips outdoors. I never normally bother but I'm going backyard crazy this year, lol.

I get moments of utter fear op, so I do get it.

I also don't read a lot of the mainstream news now - the BBC and the Guardian in particular seem to have loved this crisis. The miserable stories they've written - there has been no proportion at all. I get the Spectator emails each day (I'm not a natural Spectator reader, believe me), and I follow Karol Sikora on Twitter for a calm, sensible analysis of the situation and both have kept me sane.

Beyond that I am just trying to focus on each day - it's too easy to get into a spin about the coming months and get very frightened. And we just don't know what is ahead - getting scared about a bad second wave is a waste of energy if that never happens. And there's lots of reasons why one is unlikely although I appreciate it's not impossible. If you can do a gratitude meditation each day that helps as does having a creative project on the go - anything positive really and that makes you feel in control.

This is a really big thing to be trying to cope with but it is going to come to an end because pandemics always do and there are some really brilliant people working hard to find solutions. It will be ok, it's just about riding it out.

It is not always easy,and I have definitely had some dark moments but I try to stay positive
I try to focus on what I can do not what I can't do
Any limit contact with the doom and gloom bigrade

Those are really normal feelings to experience in this situation. Can you also find time to sit with them and let them wash on by? There is a lot of our past existence to mourn and a lot of normal fear to move through. And then all the nice stuff too!

"Dd (4) and I have been planning how we can do socially distanced trick and treats - we’re going to peg treats in packets on a washing line!"

What a brilliant idea! Thanks!

Definitely trying to take pleasure in the title things each day and make nice plans like ordering scented candles and throws for Autumn. Been out for a forest walk in the rain this morning with the dog and my other half and loved it! Some days are shocking and scary but I’m trying to accept that as part of life.

Thanks @Sandyjag, it’s good to remember that it’s ok to feel these things - to let myself feel them

I just get out and about every day, and do things we can do. I'm loving working from home, and although every so often I get momentarily fed up with hearing about it, apart from not going out to work, there arent many restrictions any more. Weve been out for meals, been shopping, had a staycation, so on the whole, done loads. I think if you sit and dwell on it and dont go out much, you will just end up miserable.

@CommonCarder

I hope carol singing outdoors takes off.

Our annual outdoor village Christmas carol service has been cancelled by the council sadly.

Just don't read too much on here or watch too much news. Try and do whatever fun things you can do now and lose yourself in the moment. Worrying about what is ahead will not change anything.

"Just follow the stats."

God, dont do that, theyve been going up for the last 3 weeks. Another 1000 odd cases today.