Son scared and crying over going back

[Raindancer411]

Hi all

Are anyone else's little ones scared and crying over going back to school, and how are you addressing this?

I have explained he needs to ensure he washes his hands well, keep his distance as best he can and not touch his face. Also that his school is staggering starts and finish times, but that is all I can say to try and reassure him.

We have a baby who was only born in May and he is also scared of bringing it back to her.

Any advice please?

I'm so sorry you're going through this. My ds 8 is also very anxious as he thinks he'll bring the virus home to us and his gps. His main anxiety, however, is that certain children will cough on him on purpose. He has asthma, so he is understandably worried about having to go back to hospital. I have never felt so torn. He desperately needs to go back to school but he'll be in a bubble of 30 in a tiny classroom. I keep trying to reassure him, but I feel like I'm sending him into the unknown.

Also, meant to add that I've told him he can keep a mask in his bag and wear it if it makes him feel better, although, in reality, if the other children aren't wearing them it's actually pointless and he won't want to wear one if the others aren't. It will hopefully make him feel he has some control if he needs it, though.

@Shinycarabina

Also, meant to add that I've told him he can keep a mask in his bag and wear it if it makes him feel better, although, in reality, if the other children aren't wearing them it's actually pointless and he won't want to wear one if the others aren't. It will hopefully make him feel he has some control if he needs it, though.

I don't think school will allow him to wear a mask, it's crazy.

I would spend your time boosting his confidence and excitement about school. No child should be worrying about masks in this situation.

Your attitude will set the tone for the return to school - make it positive!

My children were anxious before going back (we are in Scotland) they have been back for three days now and are really happy to be back, more so than normal as they are concentrating more on wellbeing than maths at the moment. There are changes but apart from some grumbling about how eldest child has the worst section of playground assigned to them it’s mostly all good.
In some ways it’s much. easier here though as they have payed with friends all summer as under 12s don’t social distance here. The more they have played over summer the less anxieties they have had so maybe it would be worth having his friends over as much as possible or meeting in parks to get used to it all again Before he goes back? Just a though

@lifeafter50

It's shocking that small children have been unnecessarily terrified by this. Only ONE child in the UK without previous (known) terminal illness has died - utterly ridiculous that they have been frightened by this. Irresponsible parents are utterly failing to protect their children from something vastly more dangerous that 'the virus'

Yes, you’re right, the ONLY way a child may experience any anxiety is through worrying they’re going to get ill. They definitely never noticed their entire way of life changing and having their whole routine disrupted and taken away. They are somehow blind when it comes to seeing people in masks or seeing signs in shops. Yes, every child, in fact, can manage all this disruption absolutely fine! It must be the parents.

I hope it made you feel better to come online and call a stranger a bad parent who isn’t protecting her child. Did it make you feel big? Think you need some help learning normal adult behaviour, to be honest.

Great to hear he has, for now, moved on, as children often do. It’s understandable that he is trying to avoid school in a way, as maybe it’s his way to control what he sees as a threat to his health and safety? With constant updates of people very ill and dying and things constantly changing it can feel frightening for adults, let alone children.
Well done on getting him through Op it’s a good idea to show him he has control over hand hygiene, mask in bag and other things but otherwise accept when school goes back that’s not something you can change and to go with the flow

@midsummabreak

Great to hear he has, for now, moved on, as children often do. It’s understandable that he is trying to avoid school in a way, as maybe it’s his way to control what he sees as a threat to his health and safety? With constant updates of people very ill and dying and things constantly changing it can feel frightening for adults, let alone children. Well done on getting him through Op it’s a good idea to show him he has control over hand hygiene, mask in bag and other things but otherwise accept when school goes back that’s not something you can change and to go with the flow

“When schools go back that’s not something you can change”

Disagree!

Sorry to hear this.

I think a lot of children will be anxious. You are not to.blame. the virus and the changes are to blame. Some kids will be unconcerned. Some kids don't notice things much. Some kids hide fears from their parents. Some kids worry.

You're looking out for him, that's what matters.

As an aside, have to just respond to this If he comes home from school, changes out of uniform and washed his hands, the risks of passing on the virus are minuscule. This is not the primary route of transmission. It is the child incubating the virus and transmitting it that is the risk.

@lifeafter50

It's shocking that small children have been unnecessarily terrified by this. Only ONE child in the UK without previous (known) terminal illness has died - utterly ridiculous that they have been frightened by this. Irresponsible parents are utterly failing to protect their children from something vastly more dangerous that 'the virus'

Do you know what, some children just are anxious. Nothing to do with parenting.

I think that there will be a LOT of this. I speak from experience as I have had two children who have school refused due to anxiety and undiagnosed SEN.

OP I feel for you, my best advice is to make an appointment to speak to the SENCO at the school, even if your child has no sen anxiety like this is an educational need. The school will be setting up nurture and welfare groups, they need to know that he will need extra support on return.

@cantdothisnow1 I emailed the school and it's been sent to the head of year (his previous teacher), new teacher and the welfare person. It's getting closer but he not said much last couple of days.

That's good, hopefully he will get some extra support.

Remember though you won't be alone with this, many parents will be facing the same issues with their little ones being anxious. Keep a dialogue with the school and don't place too much expectation on him.