Are your family divided at the moment regarding guidelines

[Realitea]

Dh is taking the more relaxed approach as time goes on. He’s still careful but is happy for dd to have sleepovers with IL’s and with his nephew there too. His family want to get together, about 12 of them (Outdoors this time) and I feel uncomfortable about it. I feel with the cases going up again we should remember we still need to try and do what we can to avoid getting it or passing it on.
I feel like I’m giving in to the pressure now as dd really wants this sleepover and to see her family again. She’s stayed over once so far a month ago. I started to relax a bit but when I see the figures increasing I start thinking we shouldn’t be mixing as much. I’ve been to the pub a couple of times outside and go shopping regularly but that’s about it.
I reckon Dh’s family are seeing me as a bit of problem now and dh is pretty fed up at the moment. I feel really torn.

Half of my family are being ridiculous and hugging each other/not social distancing from those not in household bubbles. It’s making me furious and not want to have anything to do with them

MIL (79 years old) coming to stay with us next week. She’s in a bubble with my BIL and his family so can’t bubble with us.

I know she won’t adhere to distancing guidelines or any of the other rules. Dh thinks the guidelines are ridiculous and there’s no risk at all. They are planing to drive somewhere for a day out on one of the day, going in the same car (3 hours plus). I’m seen as ‘fussing’ for thinking we should at least try to follow the guidelines, because I see no good reason why we shouldn’t.

I'm like your in laws. I've been largely carrying on as normal, visiting people etc. My parents are more like you. I'm not too bothered, if they want to do something I'm not going to pressure them. But I'm also not going to stop doing things because they don't like it.

Yes. My in laws are having a party next weekend for 20. I'm the only person who thinks we shouldn't be doing it. Apparently I'm 'too strict' and it's no different to going to the pub.

It's really hard not to see people. But it would also be hard if someone got ill. I know it's statistically unlikely, but if one of them was infected and ended up needing hospital treatment would they decline treatment? Or would they be happy to put hospital staff's lives at risk too?

On the fence a bit- we’re in GM and not “allowed” to go to each other’s houses or even gardens currently. I don’t mind for me but it’s tiresome for the kids - we can only do play dates in the park which is fine but all we can do at the moment.

If cases keep going up then that rule might spread so I’d be being sensible but not disallowing anything that was otherwise allowed because you might not be able to next week.

Round here there is a suspicion that it is a very small % blatantly flouting the rules which is why we can’t go to other houses at the moment and quite a lot of bitterness about it. At least at the beginning it was the same for everyone.

In-laws are no longer social distancing and are visiting sils and their families and having them ( their gc) to stay at their house.
Both Sil's and their families don't follow any guidance or distancing and the adults spend their free time getting drunk in their local pubs.
Mil can't understand why I won't let my DC go to play with the other grandchildren or have a sleepover too.
My parents are being more careful and following the guidelines which means I have taken my DC there to play 2)3 times this last 2 months.
This has obviously caused problems as it looks like I favour my parents.

We are all following the guidelines so not been an issue.

Friends and colleagues are a whole different matter and I’ve seen a side of some I didn’t realise was there.

My parents are following the rules to the letter and having shielded for 12 weeks are now venturing out. They have been to my house for dinner a few times and stayed out in the garden and social distanced.

DH's family think its all nonsense and have flouted the rules since the beginning.
It has got to the point where I can't see my parents for 2 weeks after I've seen MIL & FIL as I couldn't live with myself if they have passed anything on to us which I could potentially be passing it to my parents who have been following all the guidelines.
But how do you tell your MIL to stop hugging everyone all the time without causing WW3?

@fanstar - exactly. It's such a hard situation to be in. Much harder if the ones flouting the rules get angry with the people who aren't.
@spied - that's very similar to my situation! Do you and DH argue about it?

My family are all on the same page, we don't socially distance when we see each other. More and more of my friends are stopping too. But I will respect the wishes of those who still do so.

I follow all the rules and am extra cautious because I have a 3 month old but I am generally quite relaxed. I went to an outdoor baby class with my SIL and 6 month niece today, and she told me my 10 year old niece had a sleepover at their housr with 5 friends last night which really surpised me. We then went for a walk and we went into a cafe. She got annoyed at us being asked to leave prams outside to allow for distancing and was huffed at being asked to give details. She then didnt clean her hands before eating and didnt clean the high share before letting the baby eat off it. Like I say, I am relaxed but she really surprised me today haha

Same problem here - one side of the family see following the rules as having an anxiety disorder, other side following.
I don’t have a massive problem what people do atm tbh as pressure on nhs doesn’t seem to be there at the moment but I am not happy about pressure to break the rules and essentially carry on as normal as far as I can see.
I guess everyone has a point at which they can’t take anymore - I feel I can keep going and see where we are next spring.
I don’t think anyone should be forced into something they’re not comfortable with, although think I’m lucky as it must get harder as your kids get older x

I am seeing and hugging my family you literally cannot keep loved ones away for near on 7 months !!!

My kids are seeing my parents a lot more before the cold weather sets in

Back to normal with all family and friends - don't meet in large groups or more than 3 households. I socially distance out with this - wear mask etc.

@Ellsbells12 sorry I disagree. You can see people without hugging them. Not saying it’s easy (and especially not with kids, I think there has to be some leeway there) but adults can surely manage without hugging each other

I never felt the need to hug people, other than within the our household, and don’t see why adults find it so hard to just not hug.

Me too, I’m not a hugger

I haven't hugged my DC since March and we are a close affectionate family. I feel very sad about it butif I caught covid I don't think my chances would be very good and I cannot risk them feeling responsible.
I was shielding but now it's ended I am venturing out a little.
They are early 20s and both very careful, avoiding some friends who are too relaxed about SD.
They come here for a visit and we keep well apart and have windows open.