Does anyone else feel that they're being left behind?

[Chaosreignshere]

Since the start of all of this I've followed all the guidelines but I've been very eager to get back to normal for my dcs sake.

Since the easing of lockdown I feel very much like the majority of people just don't care anymore. I've been out to a few places that are supposed to be Covid secure, and imo mostly it's a joke, literally all they've got is a bottle of hand sanitiser and not doing any of the other things they're supposed to or claiming to do. I've witnessed 3 what I'd describe as mass gatherings, Hardly anyone seems to be trying to social distance.

Anyway, I'm very comfortable with going to the supermarket, I'd go to any other shop if I needed something, I'll do most things outdoors where I know I've a chance of SD, playgrounds, quiet beaches, meeting up with friends outdoors. Anything indoors where I can be certain it's calm, organised and SD can be adhered to. For example our local swimming pool which is well organised.

I'm not yet comfortable with pubs, restaurants, cinemas, meeting inside peoples houses (where I know they've had lots of other people inside). I wouldn't mind going to these places, but I've noticed that you can't rely on others to adhere to SD, so I just avoid.

Just wondering if anyone else is feeling like this? I'm finding it hard because we are starting to get lots of invitations to do things we aren't yet comfortable with.

On the other hand I know a few people who are still so anxious they won't even go in a supermarket or have a takeaway.

I think all you can do is work out what you personally are comfortable with and stick to it while respecting different people will have different boundaries. It's a strange time and the rules don't always make sense.

If we are still in the exact same situation next Spring then I might have to think again, but at the moment it's still such early days with a lot of these things only just opening up I just feel it's an unnecessary risk.

I'm hoping that things will get better either through vaccine or better and better test and trace. I certainly don't want to put life on hold forever.

I feel like we are going to lose friends or fall out with family because for example we're being invited to a dinner party with several households and people don't understand why we don't want to.

I don’t feel left behind, but like you, I’m sticking to outdoors, at least while the warmer weather lasts.

I can socialise, exercise, eat outdoors. I held a birthday party outdoors yesterday.

I only go inside to shop, and then don’t hang around. I know I COULD join in more, inside, but I don’t see the need.

Persuade your family to autumn walks, craft markets, country pubs with large gardens. If they are decent friends they will accept your point of view.

I know what you mean, but somehow you have to focus on what you are doing and not what others are doing.

I feel it's a bit like other issues such as climate change, tax avoidance/evasion, antisocial behaviour - it's a spectrum and you just have to set your own standards.

I've told my kids we're doing what we can to keep community transmission low so that we know we've tried our best.

What I do do is state my views, and people can do one if they don't like it. If someone says to me 'I'm ignoring that rule because I think I'm low risk' I am happy to say back 'I'm following the rules because I'm trying to do what I can for other people who are high risk'. It's up to them whether they get offended by that.

That said, I am lucky that I work in a large place where it is taken very seriously, no one appears to be taking the piss at work at all, so no conflict there.

I know what you mean. My sibling is due a baby this year and they've said no one will hold the baby until social distancing is stopped, fair enough, their choice. But I did point out that social distancing may be around until there is a vaccine which could potentially take years?! And they said so be it.
But the baby would be starting nursery so being held by nursery staff before family and that to me is bonkers.
It is their choice and I would never ever push or say anything but I just don't get the logic.

Yes, because we have a newly deshielded person in the household.

It's only safe enough for us when there is proper social distancing. When places do not have this, we are de facto excluded.

Summer should be OK as friends are happy to meet up outdoors and not get close. It's going to be considerably tougher if we get a damp autumn

Yetiyoga I can understand the frustration, they might calm down a bit once baby is here. It's really difficult, I don't have a baby but if I did I think I'd be ok with people holding the baby, but I'd want to know that they were keeping safe. But equally you can't control what others do.

I agree some of it doesn't make sense. My dc will be in school (hopefully) in September, but I suppose I see that as essential, whereas a trip to the pub or a dinner party isn't (to me).

Nether I have a parent who has been shielded and is still being very careful. Another reason I'm trying to be careful because I'd very much like to meet them outside.

@Chaosreignshere yes absolutely. It makes me sad but I would never say anything, it is their choice. I secretly just hope we get to hold the baby before it is moving around. Sadly I can't see that happening either until there is a vaccine, which I think it unlikely to be this year.

@Chaosreignshere

Thank you - I know most people are just getting on with it, and keeping their distance (and I do thank everyone I spot moving to give people more space)

It's just a pity that the numbers who don't are currently large enough to have an impact.

But perhaps the start of localised lockdowns will reinforce the message that we do need to be consistent - frequent handwashing, 2m unless mitigated - so that it's fully embedded before the autumn

I don’t feel like we are being left behind, we dont need to do any of the non essential things and for every one we don’t do means less risks to health. I can support the economy via online shopping and local businesses who do delivery.

Lots feel it’s just a cold etc so aren’t bothering anymore with social distancing etc and therefore the risks will get higher from the actions of others.

I think you can explain when you decline - everyone has different family reasons for being more or less careful. I just realised today that having a child who I want to be able to attend school means I want to take fewer risks than my childfree colleagues, as I don’t want her to have to isolate because I went to the pub!

Maybe invite people as much as you can to things you’re comfortable doing to show you want to keep the relationship?

I wouldn't say left behind but I'm definitely less comfortable with a lot of things than many people I know.

I'm asthmatic (not severely but still) and overweight and help care for 80+ yo parents so am keen to minimise my risk.

I really only leave the house to visit them or if a trip to the supermarket is essential (mostly have deliveries).

I've started to socialise a bit, one friend at a time, picnic or garden. Was debating pub with best mate on Friday but can't find anywhere in town that offers pre-bookable outside tables and ordering by app.

Have the above booked somewhere further out for a meal next week with DD but thats about as adventurous as I'm willing to be at the moment.

I dont as someone who has worked through lockdown I'm so use to all this and not phased a bit by the guidelines etc.

I wrote a similar post recently. I also find it hard as sometimes you think you're on the same wavelength as people and then they will go and do something which surprises you. Yeah it's hard op.

I also dont like the fact I feel like I need a reason to be careful. I have a science background. I listen, I read, I am aware of politics and can read between the lines. There are many reasons why I can choose to be careful without needing anymore reason than that.

Do what you feel comfortable with. Many of us are going to pubs and restaurants. But it may be that they like us have already had Covid and are likely to be at least partially immune. As I've already had it I have a lot of confidence that in me it's a very mild illness hence me being blasé.

Absolutely agree with you OP. Had to remind a close friend this week we're still mindful of social distancing. They were like "ooohhh that... Yeah..." That worried me and I'm someone who's been on a plane since the rules were relaxed!

In mid March I came down with an unpleasant illness which made me feel extremely tired, short of breath and feverish. It was vile, got worse before it got better, went on for weeks and I still have lingering aches and pains now. I am 44, no previous health problems. DH had it too, DS feverish for a couple of nights only, also tired. Go figure...

ANYWAY... I'm now WFH and likelihood is that this will become permanent. DH similarly situated. Whatever I can get delivered, I do. We are not socialising atm. We have had Domino's delivered twice. No one seems to have the slightest idea about immunity, the government doesn't give a fuck about my wellbeing and so I have written off the rest of this year, maybe next year too.

OP, I don't feel left behind, but sometimes I feel I am living in a different world. Mostly though I feel privileged to be alive and out of the fray. I am not generally an anxious person, but fuck 'normality' right now, Alexander can take a running jump, I'll head out for a pint when Keir is PM!