I don’t want to go on holiday...

[TLIMSISNW]

Three friends and I have been talking about going away for a few days in September/October. We all had holidays cancelled in lockdown, and one got divorced and another is celebrating a year cancer free so it’s kind of a let you hair down thing. I was initially all up for it and as keen as anyone was.

Now I’m not sure. I don’t really want to risk booking anything and losing money, I don't want to risk spreading the virus or bringing it home. I’d just really rather not go. We’re all zooming each other tomorrow to look to book and I really don’t think I want to. They’re not sure where they want to go but will be led by cheap flights etc. At the moment, Italy seems to be most popular.

They’ve had such a crap time recently that I don’t want to let them down and also I was keen but now I’m not sure it’s a good idea, in fact, I really don’t think it is. A year without a holiday isn’t a big deal after all.

Am I being paranoid? How do I pull out without upsetting everyone? I don’t want to risk losing money if we book and it gets cancelled either.

I’d just say what you’ve said here. If they’re good friends, they’ll understand. Also, you never know, one of them might be feeling the same wayz

I should add that I have anxiety and can tend to overthink.

They’re 3 lovely friends, we’ve been friends since school and I love them but I just don’t want to go abroad at the moment.

I'm sure you won't upset them - the people who still want to go, will go.
It'll be a shame that you're not there but I doubt it will ruin the holiday.
Your friends will understand I'm sure, your reasons are very fair.

Would they really be friends if they didn’t understand why you don’t want to go?

If they’re good friends, they’ll understand your reasoning, both healthy anxiety and not wanting to lose money. Let them get on with organising the holiday they want and perhaps suggest something more low-key in the UK as well later in the year for those who don’t want to holiday abroad.

My social group is mostly very relaxed about Covid and has been throughout, but we have a handful of friends who have been very worried about it and about restrictions lifting and there’s been no judgement of or upset caused when these friends have declined invitations to socialise. They might have different attitudes if they’re still our friends.

I'd go. Our gvmt seems pretty useless at dealing with covid so I can't see anywhere else being worse than where you already live
But if you don't want to, don't go. If they're good friends they'll understand

Even if you're overthinking, if it's going to cause you a lot of anxiety then it isn't going to be a holiday for you. Don't try to convince them, just say that you're not happy about it for you. If they're good friends, they will respect your decision, be sad that you're not joining them, and they won't try to guilt you into changing your mind.

Tell them it's against the regulations

From Gov UK
"only socialise indoors with members of up to 2 households ‒ this includes when dining out or going to the pub
socialise outdoors in a group of up to 6 people from different households or up to 2 households (anyone in your support bubble counts as one household)
not hold or attend celebrations (such as parties) where it is difficult to maintain social distancing and avoid close social interaction – even if they are organised by businesses and venues that are taking steps to follow COVID-19 secure guidelines
not stay overnight away from your home with members of more than 2 households (including your support bubble)
limit social interaction with anyone outside the group you are attending a place with, even if you see other people you know, for example, in a restaurant, community centre or place of worship
try to limit the number of people you see, especially over short periods of time, to keep you and them safe, and save lives. The more people with whom you interact, the more chances we give"