DH has returned to work - how to stay calm

[Ginfor2]

DH has returned to the office today after 5 months at home.

I have postnatal anxiety and OCD, and I'm really struggling with the idea of him being at work around people.

We have a 6 month old DC, We've been really careful these last 5 months and I'm so paranoid now and feel it's inevitable we're going to get it.

He's only back in the office for 4 weeks as he's working his notice period. He will then be returning to his old job and working from home.

I'm trying to keep myself busy with DC but I'm having all kinds of irrational thoughts.

I've even considered going to stay with my mum for 4 weeks who is currently furlough, is this crazy?!

Can someone please reassure me. Have you or your partners been working and how do you stay calm.

You aren't crazy, but this is your anxiety and OCD talking. It sounds like it's a low risk environment (office rather than covid ward in a hospital), so the chances are minimal.

Could you agree with him that he will strip his clothes into an empty washing machine and jump straight in a shower when he gets home? That would help.

Many people have been working throughout this crisis as they have had no choice and no option to wfh.

The chances of you dh contracting the virus are low and if he did he is very likely to be fine.

You need to keep things in perspective and get help for your anxiety and ocd.

If you went to stay with your mum you'd really have to add a fortnight to the four week period to be sure. Would you be prepared to live apart from your husband for six weeks?

I think you will alright though, Ginfor2, if he is careful and hygienic and scrupulously so when he gets home.

Your fears are understandable but all the precautions we have been taught over the past few months have kept many people well and will continue to do so. That will include your husband who really won't want to take risks with his wife and baby.

Look after yourself and try to think of other things.

Are you getting help for your mental health problems?

@PregnantAndTiredMum

Are you getting help for your mental health problems?

Yes. CBT.

I usually manage quite well but this feels like a huge deal for me.

Call your gp and explain how much you're struggling just now.

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

You aren't crazy, but this is your anxiety and OCD talking. It sounds like it's a low risk environment (office rather than covid ward in a hospital), so the chances are minimal.

Could you agree with him that he will strip his clothes into an empty washing machine and jump straight in a shower when he gets home? That would help.

Yes we've agreed that he will change and shower as soon as he gets home.

My husband has been back at work since the 1st June, meeting different people every day, with SD, my son went to Tenerife 4 weeks ago, my son had a negative test a week ago, none of us have had any symptoms. We have met up with family and friends outside. We have been fine, the likely hood of your husband catching it are slim to none.

If it helps reassure you at all I have worked full time throughout Covid in a busy environment and several colleagues have tested positive during this time. My husband has been predominantly wfh but going into work once per week on average and has been tested several times (not displayed symptoms, routine testing due to his occupation) which have always been negative. I have been careful but I don't think that your husband going back to work brings with it an inevitability that you will catch Covid - 19.

I'm sorry you're struggling and glad you're getting help!

My husband has never worked from home through the pandemic as he works in the hospital. I have an 8 week old. He's not so much as sniffled once.

As long as your DH is taking the right precautions with hygiene I really wouldn't worry x

If it helps I have been back at work since 9th June in an office interacting with people daily and my DC both returned to childcare on 1st June. I take no particular precautions when I get home other than to wash my hands.

None of us have had so much as a sniffle apart from DC1 with a 24 hour temperature at the start of July (he was tested and was negative).

It really is not inevitable that you will catch it.

I’m sorry you’re struggling op. My husband has worked as normal throughout, his jobs means he is in different places most days all over the country. Hospitals, prisons, schools, shopping centres etc we have all be fine. At first I used to make him strip at the door, shower and clothes in the wash but now he just washes his hands when he gets in and usually gets changed anyway.

Take care

this sounds a difficult day for you OP but if you are having CBT therapy I hope it will ring a bell for you that all this thread is giving you is either reassurance or telling you to up safety behaviours, both of which will only lead to the OCD growing. It's normal to have a spike of anxiety at the change today, talking about that and what to do about it with a support group or therapist who understand the condition will be much more helpful for you than continuing this thread. maternalocd.org/resources/

My husband is a police officer so has been working throughout. I assumed he'd get it but neither he nor anyone he works with has had a confirmed case. It's not inevitable. I hope you're ok.

It isn't remotely inevitable that you will catch it. At the moment numbers in most areas are very low. Have you checked the numbers in your area - they may reassure you.

DH has been working the entire time, he and his colleagues are in and out of customer houses all day and no one has come down with a case. It's not inevitable that he catches it

I have been working throughout and I’m a nurse who has been looking after suspected and confirmed COVID patients - I have not had the virus myself or bought it home to my husband or young children.

I just got showered as soon as I got home.

DH been in the office throughout. The only possible illness he had was in March at the beginning when he returned from France (everyone on that trip was ill, both British and French/

Basically worrying about it won't change anything. You're just going to have to accept there's a small risk and actually by worrying and stressing yourself you'll only increase your chances of getting ill whether from Covid or anything else you could possibly catch. Very few people under 40 have died from Covid so the risk of you catching it and dying are extremely slim. There's probably more risk being in a car crash or something else but im assuming you aren't worrying about that to this extent.

It really isn't inevitable. My DH and I have worked throughout. Both frontline - NHS and police. Very little PPE and no sd. My kids have been going to nursery and school. We've socialised with family and friends - may also front line. We've shopped, been on days out, played on playgrounds, been to the pub and restaurants. Other than the basic handwashing, we've not been in the shower when got home or anything like that.

No of us have had so much as a sniffle.