Please tell me it’s not just me!

[Twothousandzerozero]

I feel like I’m going mad. Either that or like I’m living in a completely different pandemic to about three quarters of my Facebook friend list.

Everyday there are people sticking photos up of groups gatherings/meals/drinks/jollies where no one is social distancing - eg all huddling together for the photo, sitting close together etc etc. I’m mid 30s so it’s not all “young” people either; it’s older educated, professional (some NHS frontline!) otherwise responsible people in their 30s and 40s.

I’m genuinely not trying to shame them, I just don’t get it. It’s one thing mixing in groups with absolutely zero SD but I don’t get why people are broadcasting it online, it just feels completely at odds with what’s going on, and yet it seems to be nearly everyone I know..!

Have a lot of people just given up? Has anyone else noticed this, or have I finally lost it?!

No it's not just you. It's all been stupidly done and now is all going wrong 😬

(apart from Dominic Raab 🥰)

It's not just you OP.

Not just you op. I really despair of how people are acting now. The Government hasn’t exactly dealt with Covid as well as it could, but the reason there have been so many deaths isn’t entirely their fault! These continuing death rates are because of how absolutely stupid and selfish many people are being. Yes, I do blame those who ignore the rules, for spreading this Virus and killing people!

I would love to have spent time with my dcs and dgcs over the last 4 months, but I didn’t. My dh was one of the most vulnerable people, so has been shielding since March! His gp did get in touch....to say that they were putting a ‘do not resuscitate’ on his medical records and to also inform him that if he caught Covid he would not be admitted to intensive care or ventilated! He wasn’t the only one, I know 3 other people who had the same phone call! My daughter moved out of our home to stay with a friend, so that I could isolate with her dad!

For 4 months we have stuck to guidance, just hoping to come out the other side of this alive! Then I see or hear about all the poor sods who have had enough and can’t cope with this anymore. Then some ‘thick as shit’ mumsnetters tell them to just ignore the rules! If anyone suggests reporting someone for breaking the rules, these mumsnetters tell them to mind their own business, or stop being a ‘snitch’.
If any of you reading this thread recognises yourself by this description, come and spend some time in my dh’s shoes. I think you would change your tune if it was your life at risk!

@SaltyAndFresh yes, call it clumsy but that was my point. On the one hand there are people demanding public enquiries about the effect of coronavirus in BAME communities, on the other there are people having house parties with mutiple car loads of guests from within those communities.

It's not hard to get, it's been about 5 months of this. People missing important events, family, socialising. It's easy for you lot to be up on your high horse but for many others their mental health is deterioting. Plus, restrictions HAVE been eased
You have no idea how easy or hand anything is for anyone else.
Of course I have missed all those things too.
Dont assume that I am following the rules because it is easy for me. It isnt but I know that if we dont try to stick to the guidelines then there will be a rise in cases and the restrictions will increase. It was hard enough the 1st time I dont want to do it again.
But as you say restrictions have eased they haven't gone altogether and that is what people are talking about on this thread. People that think easing means "everything is back to normal "

I’m relieved that other people relate, to be honest. Agree with other posters that it’s not a question of “oh it must be easier for you to follow the restrictions” - this current way of living is awful for everyone but it’s obvious that a lot of people haven’t got it in them to keep going with it - it makes me wonder what this winter will be like. We are only a few months in, I am hating it as much as the next person but I didn’t expect to be back to anything resembling normal until next spring at the earliest - I’ve accepted that a lot things need to be on hold for now.

My MIL on the other hand wants to book a holiday that will involve mixing several different households (including various vulnerable people) for a week and doesn’t understand why I’m reluctant!

No it baffles me too. Obvious mixed households In a bar all snuggled up for selfies. Shouldn’t even be sat the same table in the north west right now. I think bars and restaurants while needing the cash should be more alert to lack of distancing as they will be the next things closed as cases rise which they are now doing .

While I haven’t hugged my vulnerable relatives for months.

I work in an area that’s not as affected by covid but still has had some cases. Even staff I think should be more aware of the pandemic are doing it too.

I just carry on doing my thing!

Being very oblique not to put myself, I know a group of people - all medical including A&E and ITU doctors who organised a large birthday party for one of their number this weekend. It was outside and they have thought through social distancing etc. Half of me thinks they have all worked hard and deserve the break even if it’s breaking the rules, the other half of me is horrified.

All I can do is me though, so I leave them to it and continue to follow the rules. And I hope they don’t get ill.

There is a lot of information out there from credible sources (drs, scientists, Nobel prize winners) that suggest that our response (lockdown and treatment of Covid) has been wrong and more detrimental to our health and lives than Covid itself! In addition the government guidelines are erratic and seemingly senseless a lot of the time, people are fed up, when for most this is not a dangerous virus.

No, it’s not just you.
Lots of other people have gone a bit mad though, hence the rise in infections.

So what I find odd is people have their own interpretations of what you can do. A bunch of us are meant to be going on a European weekend trip, some people are saying they don't want to fly and are worried about it. Totally get that, but instead proposing we share a rental property in UK which is currently against guidelines on numbers.

Or don't get me started on FB friend, posting adamantly about not sending his DCs back to school in June because of the risk to them, but now cheerfully on holiday abroad "So long suckers " was the gleeful caption and enjoying many days and meals out from the pictures.

I agree OP. I think that maybe people have got bored of checking the current guidelines and lost track of what's currently allowed? Or maybe they know but don't care?

There was a thread on here yesterday about whether the OP was being unreasonable not to attend a friend's 30th birthday celebration (due to long journey, small baby etc). I was really surprised at the tiny number of posters who pointed out that this kind of gathering is still not allowed .

OP you’re not going mad. In September the government thinks everyone is happily going to share everyone’s summer risks and choices by cramming 30 in classrooms, complete with dubious year bubble systems. That’s the crazy bit. Hard to believe it’s still on the table.

RandonTree

I was really surprised at the tiny number of posters who pointed out that this kind of gathering is still not allowed confused.“

Suspect it’s because people are fed up with being called dementors for wishing people would stick to the rules, for all of our sakes. “We’re all in this together” seems to have morphed disappointingly quickly I to “sod everyone else, I’ll do whatever I like”.

Trouble is the more other people return to 'normal' life, the more those who are concerned or those that are clinically vulnerable can't.

We've not seen anyone since March or been anywhere. A first food shop yesterday was in crowded streets. Much more difficult than a couple of months ago.

This can't be about 'people have got fed up with isolating or following guidance', like the novelty has warn off The virus is rising again, we are all going to end up back where we started in March.

I think everyone is confused what you can and can't do anymore, I know I am. Everyone is thinking about themselves.

Annoys me the DP parents are not being careful, his dad has various issues and had a shielding letter and a couple off weeks back received another to stay in for 12 weeks.

He's not taken any notice been out and about since day one, now at pub every Saturday, out shopping every day, meals out. Going on holiday Annoys me rest off family have been so careful to avoid passing it on to them.

Maybe his mind set is I'm nearly 80 and if I get this so be it but I doubt he'll survive it and he's not thinking his wife has issues too and could be serious for them both.

I give up, off course you can't tell him, he won't listen

I commented exactly the same thing the other day about some of our friends in their 30's 40's and 50's. In a way I'm glad they post it on Facebook because at least I know what their attitude to Covid and social distancing is like so I can make sure I avoid them in social situations for my own (and others I care about) protection.

Life as normal here. Like nothing has ever happened. I see all our friends and stuff is just as it was.

@bigbluebus

I commented exactly the same thing the other day about some of our friends in their 30's 40's and 50's. In a way I'm glad they post it on Facebook because at least I know what their attitude to Covid and social distancing is like so I can make sure I avoid them in social situations for my own (and others I care about) protection.

That's what I think. Good to know. Act accordingly.

We've got a few friends who have acquired new partners during lockdown. One of whom "met at a party in April"

Trouble is the more other people return to 'normal' life, the more those who are concerned or those that are clinically vulnerable can't

This! I'm preggers and thankfully a lot of the previous restrictions at our local hospital have been relaxed because the rate of infections was low in our area... Now infections are going up again I'm really worried that the restrictions will be reinstated .

Personally I'm most angry about the mixed messages and hypocrisy from the government but that's not to say that individuals are blameless.

I agree OP. I feel the same. I live in a rural village and its jumping with tourists. The people who live here, who were only moaning a few weeks ago about the risks of tourists etc are now out in the pubs socialising etc. Friends are having parties etc. I appreciate people are fed up but you can still attempt to stay safe.

Well if everyone stayed at home now the economy really would go into free fall.
Those that are not vulnerable really do need to get out and start spending their money. I am and I am a frontline NHS professional who has already had it so I know that I am relatively low risk ( yes I know I am not guaranteed immunity) . I don’t hug people or push my luck. I do wear masks and wash my hands frequently and take my own alcohol gel ( no I don’t use the grubby shop bottles if I can help it).
I want to support local restaurants and businesses and have been to a few. I have sat out doors if at all possible. I have stuck to independant restaurants rather than chains. I want to go shopping. I took my little girl shopping and we had an amazing time and she wore her mask too. I want to enjoy life at the moment while I can after a tough year. We cannot stay locked down forever or no one will have jobs to go back to and more people will die die to recession.

I’ve restricted movement, do the handwashing, hand gel, mask & social distancing in shops.

I also drove a fair bit to see a friends mum (who can’t get to see each other because it would mean a plane journey) because I felt that was the right thing to do.

I’m trying to be both cognisant of people trying to keep a living AND mainly of course people trying to keep living altogether.

'everyone seems to have forgotten social distancing here, there is just a background noise of people dying'

I felt quite sad (& guilty for being so judgemental myself) reading this as my first thought was that ‘social distancing’ could easily be replaced with ‘domestic abuse’ and my experiences of the last few years have been that society at large has not made anywhere near the same effort to tackle it as they have the pandemic, yet the dead and damaged keep piling up there too.

There’s always more that could be done, always people being deliberately selfish or inadvertently so, and always a balance to be sought between society & the individual. I recognise how selfish it is of me to hope that the pandemic will help people understand the additional hardships faced by others (less abled not being able to move as about freely, work being less accesible to some through no fault of their own, isolation of the elderly, those living with fear daily - all before the pandemic) but I don’t wish any of those hardships on other people, I just don’t have as much sympathy for those not previously hampered in those ways having to live a few months in the shoes of those who were, and still are, with added corona on the side.

I think its normal to be frustrated, at the varying lack of clarity or cohesive community spirit, but it’s not new to a lot of people, many have been living with all of the issues the pandemic has thrown up for years prior to it and are now still living with those issues and the threat of coronavirus on top.

When the pandemic is deemed ‘over’ they will still be left coping with all those issues, so I’m not surprised by people behaving in the way they are, I’m more surprised that people don’t realise this is how society has been behaving for a long long time on lots of issues beyond coronavirus.

Agree op. However whilst I remain careful , wear a mask, attempt to socially distance etc I am also a secondary teacher who is expected to return to school with very little protection in place. As a result I am starting to see family, eat out and am planning on going on a holiday in England hopefully in 3 weeks. Mixed messages from the government.