Not my writing but I saw this on Facebook which gave me a laugh
Where even is Greater Manchester? Someone might need to clarify to us Greater Manchester residents that we do actually live in GM for this new lockdown. Here's why. Altrincham, Hale, and Bowdon think they're in Cheshire. They're not anymore, they're in Trafford, but are heavily in denial and often driving large Range Rovers and erecting obscene gates (that defeat the object of them living in any beautiful scenery as they can't see it) to ensure people think they're definitely Cheshire. Cheadle Hulme is also in denial. They'll tell you they moved there "for the schools". There's a whole load of "Cheshire influencers" in Altrincham and Stockport getting a reality check tonight as to what county they're in. Sale also claims to be in Cheshire but that's just whack. Trafford is home to the Lancashire Cricket Ground, even though it's now geographically closer to Cheshire and definitely not in Lancashire. Stockport changes its mind as to whether it's Cheshire or Manchester according to the situation and current trends (and in fairness, Bramhall is pretty posh, and Hazel Grove perhaps - they would say they're in Cheshire though). Marple used to be part of Glossop which is actually Derbyshire although Marple was at one point in time, Cheshire. It's now Greater Manchester with a Stockport postcode but kind of still looks a bit Derbyshire-ish and calls itself Cheshire. It's near a whole load of villages filled with people that have no idea where they are and who all look strikingly similar.
Anyway, over to Wigan, you have Standish - the semi-posh part of Wigan. The top of Standish borders Chorley which actually is genuinely Lancashire. Head across to West Lancs or is it Merseyside? Basically it all starts to sound a bit Scouse as you go towards Skelmersdale. In fact, where the hell does Skelmersdale even fall? Mind you, no one goes to Skem anyway, it's just a sign on the M58. Ah, Bolton. Another proud Lancastrian sat confused in Greater Manchester's sprawl (at least residents of Horwich have Rivington close by for outdoor exercise, which while extremely popular with doggers from across the North West - avoid twilight jogs by the way, is technically Chorley so is in proper Lancashire).
Bury, Rochdale and Oldham think they're in Lancashire still (although some parts of Rochdale and Oldham used to be in West Yorkshire and many remain confused as to where the border is - somewhere in Saddleworth apparently, could be near trendy Uppermill or maybe near where they built a motorway around some poor farmer's house, or maybe Oldham Mumps wherever that is - you may have seen it on a tram, it's a place not a disease). Many in these towns also drive Range Rovers, although they're best avoided as they tend to be career criminals (there are career criminals in Cheshire too, but they're posher and serve more affluent clientele). This particularly applies to Prestwich, a generally popular area in....well, it's close to the city centre and Salford but calls itself Bury, the cosmopolitan part. It's Greater Manchester nonetheless. You can get a closer look at this good looking crowd on a roofbar in Spinningfields like 20 Stories, they'll be taking selfies for the 'Gram near the lifts, with Beetham Tower in the background. Chorlton and Didsbury are safely in Greater Manchester and both seem content with this, even though many of their residents actually live in Rusholme and Whalley Range but ride a bike and look quirky so fit in with the West Dids crowd.
Now to my old friend Salford. Salford stands alone as a city in a city - is it even "proparrr Manc R kid?" Media City isn't in Manchester really. It's in Salford. But that's Greater Manchester apparently, even though it's a whole separate city with a separate council and pretty pink bins. You'll also find plenty of Range Rovers and huge houses in Worsley, although they don't claim to live in Cheshire, they're Salford done good. They're not really Mancunian either, they're Salfordian, although haemorrhage Manchester bees at an alarming rate. They're just focused on pretending they live in Worsley and NOT Swinton despite the M27/M28 postcode giveaway (I once lived near the border and actively engaged in those antics myself). Nearby, well not that nearby, you'll find Little Hulton, a place that is definitely in Salford but close to Bolton yet calls itself Worsley. Worsley is on the way to city status if you believe the postal addresses of most in the region. Worsley is close to Leigh which is kind of Wigan-ish and down the road from Haydock, which isn't Lancashire any more. It's Merseyside. Even though it's right down the road from Wigan, and therefore Greater Manchester. Phew. Oh, and I've absolutely no idea where Tameside even is 😂😂😂 - sounds like it's in Newcastle.
I think I'm the person to clear up the confusion.
PS no offence to Range Rovers.
PPS I've lived in many of the above areas.
PPPS I still live in "Greater Manchester"
PPPPS this is clearly a bit of fun, don't take it to heart