Party this Saturday with 30 people invited!

[MBalloch]

Hello all

As the title states, my very close friend is having a party this Saturday for her little girls 1st birthday. A few weeks ago she said she was having the party in her flat and there would be ten people there. However, this has now changed and it is now taking place at her mums (she lives in a small flat and her mum has a house) and around 30 people have now been invited.

I'm so shocked by this. She and a few of her family members have shielded during this and they are now all attending a big party

I agreed weeks ago to help decorate and now I am feeling very uncomfortable doing so because;

1. my dad is elderly and is in the 'at risk' category and what if I catch it and pass this on to him?!
2. it goes against scottish government guidance of avoiding crowed places and household numbers.

She also had a slagging match about her in laws not going for the same reason...

I met her today for lunch and asked her about the numbers and if she felt comfortable with it and what if neighbours reported her etc. And she seemed totally defensive about it, so much so, I changed the subject.

My question is... would you;

• go along early in the morning before party starts, decorate, see birthday girl etc. Then leave as numbers start rising or..
• Would you stay if the party is outdoors and avoiding sitting with large numbers (that's the plan weather permitting) and leave immediately if it is moved inside?
• Or not go altogether?

I've spoken to my other close friend who is also going about how she feels and shes totally baffled as to why I'm not comfortable with it and her mum has health conditions... is it really just me?!?!

What would you do?

@PurpleDaisies thanks for posting. I will definately follow the guidelines, this is the first time i have been invited to a party as such - just baffled by my friend who thinks there is no issue and 'at risk' family members will be there too.

Wanted other peoples opinions as I have been speaking to a few people about it who have told me I shouldn't be going full stop and my dad who thinks I should go and wear a mask lol!

Thanks for all your input everyone 🙂

With the 30 limit some are referring to, I think that is for weddings (and funerals?!) only.

Here are the guidelines for England
www.gov.uk/guidance/meeting-people-from-outside-your-household-from-4-july

2 households indoors, or up to 6 individuals from different households outdoors.

Apologies, I see you are in Scotland. But the above might help someone in England!

I agree OP. I find it bizarre that people who are shielding think things have magically changed overnight. My family are meeting up indoors for this coming Eid (five different households, 20 people in total, including vulnerable people). For me them it’s a joint celebration of the end of shielding...no words!!

I also wouldn’t hang around.

I wouldn’t go as this is exactly why cases are increasing again.

I am in Scotland also and I have my aunt’s funeral next week. We have been told only family allowed to a maximum of 20 and got to wear masks, distance etc etc.

I don’t understand why people suddenly think they can do what they want because we are moving forwards in phases.

I would go! I know it was a bit thoughtless of her to organise a party right now but if everyone is careful then I think you should go. It's her dd 1st birthday- if you refuse it could cause problems in your friendship. If it's in the garden then that's even better. It's up to vulnerable people to make their own risk assessment.

No way I'd go. I saw in the Guardian that in a village in Shropshire someone held an engagement party, and 23 people were infected.

@Sorberret

I would go! I know it was a bit thoughtless of her to organise a party right now but if everyone is careful then I think you should go. It's her dd 1st birthday- if you refuse it could cause problems in your friendship. If it's in the garden then that's even better. It's up to vulnerable people to make their own risk assessment.

‘Unfortunately I’m not able to attend because my dad is vulnerable and I’d like to be able to see him’ ‘I’m offended by that and our friendship is now in question’

...

How does that sound logical? It’s not just vulnerable people who need to make risk assessments but also their loved ones.

There is conflicting info everywhere but I Google earlier today (because of the arguments about 30 vs 6 on my village facebook page, not because 9f this thread!) and found these and other pages which seem to say that 30 is ok:

www.met.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/c19/coronavirus-covid-19/coronavirus-social-distancing-rules-england/

www.guardian-series.co.uk/news/18561496.30-people-limit-gatherings-new-coronavirus-lockdown-rules/

But there are other pages saying 6 is the limit. If it has changed to 30, I don't think it was very well publicised (possibly deliberate to stop too many people doing it?!)

Please report them to the police now and ask for them to provide advice so that this event doesn't go ahead. People's selfishness in such ways is causing people to die and lose their jobs.

@manicinsomniac the OP is in Scotland and the rules there are different.

Don't do it. I'm sick of people being selfish.

It really is Darwinism at work.

Anyone who thinks this is okay doesn’t have a grasp of the situation. No way would I go. We’re already seeing peaks in some places, some people seem to think the virus is retreating, it isn’t.

Hello all, had no intention of staying the whole time - was going to wait and see what numbers were like then go.

Spoke to my friend tonight and told her that I can't stay for long anyway - didnt say because of the breaking of guidelines but said that I want to see my dad in a few days and dont want to risk anything... she wasnt best pleased but my families health is more important anyway.