Covid & lockdown shuffling/changing friendships

[labyrinthloafer]

It is sinking in that covid and lockdown has affected some relationships/friendships, wondered if others having it too?

I have no longer really got some friendships that didn't easily transfer to online, or where it was based on catching up at things we both attended etc.

I also have a historically close friend who is dealing with covid so differently to me, we've not always agreed before about issues but this time her way of dealing with it is to not think about it at all, which leaves me a bit when we chat as it is still affecting a lot in my life e.g. how I work, school, travel plans.

I also have other friendships that have transferred very well to online, so some people I previously talked to only sporadically I now talk to.much more, and about more.

Is this happening to anyone else? I don't know whether to try harder to keep the old friendships or just accept this quite big shuffle about.

I guess at the start I thought I'd see people 'soon' but in some cases it really won't be soon at all, as not all activities have restarted etc.

In life, I think many friendships are 'of a time' or more truthfully 'of a situation'.

You are close to someone because you shared a flat with them; or commuted home from work each day with them; or walked a mile to school and back twice a day; or you travel the region and stand on the side of a sports pitch with them.

When that isn't happening, the friendship tends to go on ice.

I never understand the drama people post about on MN quite often about if they should 'end this friendship' or about how they only have one friend. I think many people seem to overthink what being friends is all about.

I have become friends with some of my neighbours over the last 4 months through a WhatsApp Group that was set up. Some I've not even met yet, but we have supported one another through this and 'chatted' a lot and I'd consider them my friends. But I have other friends that I used to socialise with 30 years ago, some of whom I can go without seeing for years at a time, and they are still friends too.

I think we are all beginning to understand we won't be "going back" to February times, like I think we perhaps thought we would be when our worlds changed so much in March. Life is different and will evolve differently.

I really like that description of friends BackforGood.

Friendships always puzzle me and I’ve always presumed I don’t have great social skills or felt great guilt about friendships fading.

You’ve made me feel far more positive about friendships after reading that. Thank you.

Yes that was helpful, thank you. Maybe the sadness is just hitting me, it's summer and I'm not seeing some people I would see, and even next term some things are still going to be shut.

I miss some people but don't really know where they fit in my current pattern of life.

Just reach out to them and tell them you miss them. I'm sure they'll appreciate it. It's good to stay in touch.