Taking my DC's out of school for a year, please help me to decide!

[Beebityboo]

I was supposed to be going to university next year when the DC's were all back in school. However I'm considering giving up my place and home educating my DC's for a year instead.

I have a disability that makes me vulnerable to Covid and my youngest DD has a terrible immune system that saw her frequently hospitalised last year (they even told us she may have leukaemia at one point).

My eldest has Aspergers and will struggle with wearing masks on the bus 45 minutes each way. She has loved being at home though and would quite happily never go back.

Secondary school plans don't feel at all safe to me. We don't know enough about the long term effects of this virus to be taking a punt which is what the secondary school guidelines feel like.

I'm strongly considering home schooling my DC's for the whole of the next academic year until (hopefully) the worst of the virus is long past and school is more "normal" than it will be next year.

I'd really like some opinions as to whether I'm doing the right thing. I have never been so unsure as a parent before.

In your circumstances I’d do it in a heart beat. Education can always be caught up on, health is far more important.

There will be little to none social distancing in schools when they return and they will be mixing with large groups plus whoever they have mixed with outside of school. Many have stopped following the guidelines now.

It's mostly the arrangements for secondary that concern me as there is just no way 250 students plus can be classed as a "bubble" and as you say, I feel like their (and my) health has to come before education in this case. I value education highly and never imagined I would have to face a decision like this.

I'm also worried about the constant disruption. DD2 as I say was constantly sick throughout reception and was in hospital frequently. If she is sick as much as she was last year she'll never be in school with the two week isolation period. I'm dreading trying to get her to take tests as well (suspected ASD).

It's just a nightmare, I'm not sleeping for the worry about it. I'm worried I am over reacting but I just don't see another option .

Given that you have specific health concerns, it is worth looking in to.

They do need access to real life social groups though be it home ed groups or groups like Scouting/ Guiding.

Reducing social contact to reduce risk is one thing, but it is harmful educationally and socially to eliminate it. (I say this as a mum of a child with ASD who is OK with a quieter life; he still needs exposure to normal and age appropriate society)

In your position I would do what you're proposing.

Yes I agree @BogRollBOGOF and I definitely would try and seek to establish an appropriate balance.

Sounds like a no brainer to me: I would go for it. You are happy to homeschool, they get on well, you can ensure social contact for them but be more in control of it, you will be moving to a new area/new schools afterwards . . . and you will have peace of mind if there is a second wave, nationally or in your area.

Best of luck.

Thanks @Notverygrownup it sounds so right when you put it like that!

It's just a big step to take and so hard to know what to do for the best. Never has there been a time when I''ve been so unsure about what the right thing to do for my DC's is.

I would homeschool if I was in your position. I currently homeschool my 12 year old who has suspected ASD, and I'm also an OU student as well as working from home. Homeschooling has looked so different during lockdown which has been really sad - I'm so missing the museum meets and regular social groups and the chance to see friends. But looking towards September I am profoundly relieved we are not in the position of having to send him back in to a school.

The one caveat would be losing their school place, but as you plan to move house that isn't an issue. Just be careful that a house move plus homeschooling isn't too much disruption during an already tumultuous time. Also, while you have very valid reasons for wanting to home school, make sure you go into it (if you do it) joyfully and with energy, minimising the fear aspect for them so they don't pick up on your anxiety. Put it in terms of a wonderful adventure. Good luck, sounds like if you do go for it, it may really benefit them. But do get in touch with the HE community wherever you move to so you can make some contacts for park meets or even just some online moral support. It's so valuable.

I would do it in your situ. I’m considering doing with dd myself with less health reasons than you but I’m concerned about social development. I wonder if there will be the formation of small groups of children locally all shielding/lower risk to catching it because avoiding people and they can arrange to meet outside on a small scale to give some social interaction and friendship but be less risk than being in school.

What your saying sounds sensible, I wouldn't rush the decision, see what the school says in Sep. What everyone says now might be different to what people say in 6 weeks - look how the mask debate has evolved.

I'm still agonising over this. I suppose my main concerns are my younger two getting lonely/not having a lot of opportunities to play with other children until next year. My eldest has aspergers and a tight knit circle of online friends on minecraft etc with similar issues and she seems quite content with this at the moment. She would quite happily never step foot in a school again.
I just can't see a scenario where for our family, sending them back to school works. I'm just so worried and so upset. I suppose some part of me thought this would all be over by now.

I’m having the same thought process. My ds is 14 and about to go into year 10. I’m physically disabled and currently being investigated for a suspected auto-immune condition. I also provide a lot of care for my 73yo father, who has severe copd and has just spent a week in hospital with heart failure, so I’m terrified of picking up so much as a common cold at the minute.

Ds has adhd and ASD and has never really been happy at school. He’s got on so well since he’s been working from home, but he’s resistant to leaving school altogether and being home schooled. He doesn’t know why he does not want it, as he also doesn’t want to go back to school!

We’re going round in circles at the minute trying to work out the best thing to do. I just feel it’s a huge risk having him back at school in a “bubble” of 240 when there’s so much at stake healthwise if he brings anything home.

@40somethingJBJ Going round in circles is exactly what we're doing too. Never feels like there is enough solid ground to make a decision. Never been this uncertain about anything before this bloody virus came along!

Could you maybe move to Scotland where they have a better handle on it? To an area with small schools?
It is so sad. So many people being bullied into giving up the education entitled to or risk whole family.
There really needs to be the online option nationally as that seems what US are doing.