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Original poster

Can I be really self indulgent and have a rant here?

38 replies

SunshineOutdoors · 22/07/2020 17:20

So pissed off with the whole situation today. I never wanted a job that would have me working from a small bedroom in my house. Fed up off seeing my stupid face on zoom meetings and the insecurities that come out when I do. Fed up of not being able to have a quick conversation with colleagues about issues that could be solved in 2 mins, but instead having to bat questions back and forth across stupid Microsoft teams.

Upset for dc missing out on so much school, play dates, exciting times they should be having. Fed up with trying to entertain and be everything to them at home.

Bedtime seems to now have migrated to past 10 o’clock (even if started a lot earlier), meaning no adult evening time unless I want to be fucked from lack of sleep the day after.

Apologies for this, I’m usually pretty positive and ‘can do’, but today I just want to drink all the gin and either cry or shout or both.

I know we’re doing this for good reason, and I’m definitely prepared to go through the above to protect people, but I’m just pissed off with it all. My tether is ended today.

Would anyone else like to rant with no judgement?

OP posts:
Jrobhatch29 · 22/07/2020 17:29

Rant away! It is hard and you are allowed to be pissed off. The only break I have had from my children in 4 months was when I was in labour with my 3rd in may!

sunseekin · 22/07/2020 17:33

@Jrobhatch29

Rant away! It is hard and you are allowed to be pissed off. The only break I have had from my children in 4 months was when I was in labour with my 3rd in may!
A new baby in the middle of this must be tough, I was outraged when my older two got chicken pox pretty much as I left hospital with third!
Jason118 · 22/07/2020 17:35

I've no kids at home and I share the rant like feelings. Arghhhhh

Original poster
SunshineOutdoors · 22/07/2020 17:47

Congratulations on a new baby! And thanks for understanding the rant. I’ve got plenty more where that came from.... so may be back here

OP posts:
MissEliza · 22/07/2020 17:53

Op I'm amazed it's taken so long for you to crack! You're a better person than me. Hopefully your dcs will be back to school soon and life will start to feel a bit easier. I went back to work in June and was able to put my daughter back in school as I'm a key worker. Having that routine back was brilliant.

CupoTeap · 22/07/2020 18:06

Op I feel exactly the same AngrySadConfused

Brieminewine · 22/07/2020 18:20

Rant and pour a gin would be my advice.
I feel the same, I’m fed up of queuing, I’m fed up of masks, I’m fed up of baby groups and soft play having no reopening date! First world problems I know but this bloody virus isn’t going no where so we need to crack on Wine

Klaudia14 · 22/07/2020 18:26

Rant away. I've been trying to hold back tears most of the day. I had a major cry this morning after dh went to work but then after my teen got up I had no chance. She doesn't have a lot of friends and is not doing much most days and wants to be with me, she's an only child. Now that school is done she's extra bored. I was wfh but got signed off last week due to back pain.
We cancelled our holiday in August, I wanted to go to go but he didn't, DH suffers major anxiety and didn't want to have the whole airport and travel experience.
I'm basically stuck at home. Don't drive, can't sit too long due to back problems, missing normality, want to work but can't risk it with back as it is at moment.
Speaking of adult time...teen now goes to bed at 11/12 so that's gone out the window ...it's been a while and I'm not even sure I'm bothered. Can't even take care of things myself as small house and all that is everyone is always just there .even the dog ! Missing my freedom and know that sounds bloody selfish as I know how lucky I am! Ahhhhh

Just needed to get this out!

Fruitloopcowabunga · 22/07/2020 18:41

Yep, been having this conversation with colleagues. It's absolutely fine to rant - this situation is not good for our mental health. Yesterday after I finished work for the day, I got in the car, drove out of the street and just screamed and swore for 5 minutes. Felt slightly better after.

LizzieMacQueen · 22/07/2020 18:41

I know the feeling too.

Can you buy something to cheer yourself up? I bought a Muji room diffuser to brighten (or whatever the smell version of brighten is) my kitchen. I'd recommend one.

catsandlavender · 22/07/2020 18:48

Hand hold from me FlowersGin it’s a shit situation and you’re well entitled to a rant.

My rant... I’m sick of not hugging my family. I’m sick of not even going in their house even though I’m allowed to, because I‘ve been at work teaching key worker children and I can’t risk it. I’m angry about the fact said children are having large gatherings against the guidance “because mummy decided we didn’t have to social distance” which is causing me to feel more cautious about seeing MY family.

I know this is selfish and I don’t begrudge people for making their own choices and risk assessments AND we live in a low risk area AND it’s probably fine... but it hurts to be going into work and putting myself at even more risk because of those choices. And then feeling like I have to really limit seeing my parents.

Timeforabiscuit · 22/07/2020 18:48

I also have had such a very shit day;

I've given myself a gold star in adulting in the face of todays bee invasion, blocked drains, mantrums and youngest child cooking a cheesecake. Oh and a full time job. And a husband who huffed at the washing up complaining that "he was left to do everything"

It can all fuck right off while I enjoy a takeaway!

TolstoyAteMyHamster · 22/07/2020 18:51

I’ve found my tribe. Every one is grumpy today as we’ve just cancelled our holiday. I’m tired and bored of work and fed up of all of this. I’m snapping at the teens and have given up trying to insist they use their time productively. Urgh. I felt a bit better a couple of weeks ago but I’m in a slump again.

NoSquirrels · 22/07/2020 18:51

Ah bloody hell, OP - me too. Slightly different details, but the general theme is definitely gin and shouting.

I feel like I'm chronically underdelivering in all aspects of my life right now and I am so fed up of the constant company. I know what I need - what I really need is uninterrupted time to myself without having to consider anyone else and that is impossible, perhaps for a long time yet. I had a really nice dog walk by myself last night, but it's not an hour or so of 'me time' I need, it's actual solitude for a stretch. I love my family but I am never alone, and it is really stifling as someone always wants or needs something and whilst socialising options are limited it's not unfair of them to need my time. It's just really tough being a natural introvert now I can't effectively relax. My concentration on tasks is really affected.

Klaudia14 · 22/07/2020 18:57

I've just been for a walk on my own...cleared my head a bit. Listened to Lana del Rey Smile 'This is what makes us girls' always makes me remember my teen years and makes me happy...even though I didn't do most things she sings about haha

Need to do this more!!

Original poster
SunshineOutdoors · 22/07/2020 18:59

Yes yes to having a bit of time on your own. Anyone else been hiding in the toilet to get e bit of 'me time'? Love my family and all that but didn't sign up to this.....

OP posts:
TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince · 22/07/2020 19:01

I’m incarcerated with a teen.

I want to run away

Original poster
SunshineOutdoors · 22/07/2020 19:01

I'm pretty sure the weather isn't helping either. It's been substandard here for what feels like weeks now. We cancelled a holiday in Menorca and instead doing four nights in a tent in the Yorkshire Dales (about an hours drive from us)... I think it will be ok if sunny, but if not I'll be even grumpier.

OP posts:
Original poster
SunshineOutdoors · 22/07/2020 19:03

My dh asked me why I wasn't doing the washing up whilst I was cleaning down the kitchen cupboards and washing the floor (that never gets done). Got short shrift from me, I tell you

OP posts:
beela · 22/07/2020 19:10

Urgh, it's shite. I'm checking in for a bit of solidarity.

I loved my old life. It's not even like I didn't appreciate it, I did! I knew that I loved it!!

Klaudia14 · 22/07/2020 19:12

@SunshineOutdoors wow! I would have been fuming if mine did that!
Nice to hear you have other plans for the summer. I hope the weather is nice for you

beela · 22/07/2020 19:19

I know what I need - what I really need is uninterrupted time to myself without having to consider anyone else and that is impossible, perhaps for a long time yet. I had a really nice dog walk by myself last night, but it's not an hour or so of 'me time' I need, it's actual solitude for a stretch. I love my family but I am never alone

Exactly this! I really miss my days in the house when dh is at work and dcs are at school.

Just to contradict myself, I also miss going to the office and sitting with and working with other people in real life, not through a bloody computer screen.

MorvaanReed · 22/07/2020 19:43

Today is better but yowzers, I was in a foul mood Monday and Tuesday since I couldn't get a straight answer about how much unpaid work they expected me to do over the Summer holidays (term time contract).

Then I and my two co-workers got left out of end of term drinks and while everyone else was having their lovely drinkies in a rather upscale establishment, and sending us hilarious texts, we picked up after everyone and scrubbed the toilets. To add insult to injury it was my birthday.

Oh, and one of my co-workers had been left a gift by a kid they'd helped a lot this year, but no one had bothered to give it to them, it was stashed, forgotten, in the corner of an office. Some it was perishable. Gifts to support staff are bloody rare, so they mean a lot to us.

Better today because the unpaid work turned out to be about a third of what I expected and me and 1 co-worker went to the local and had much cheaper drinks and pork scratchings (table service in the garden, lovely) so nuts to the lot of them.

This is on top of the general Covid fucked-off-edness. In the end my family is all healthy, the adults are employed and the kid's coping well with school work, so we're bloody lucky but the crap moments do come.

ifonly4 · 22/07/2020 19:49

Rant away. DH is a about to have his first proper break since lockdown. He's generally happy working from home as he can have a break at sometime in the day, but his job has been redefined and he constantly has the computer, work iPad and two phones in front of him. We did a lot of walking/cycling to start with this reduced but the last week or so he's needed to get away from the computer, I'd only for five mins stood in the garden.

Lockdowner13 · 22/07/2020 23:02

Urgh I could have written all of that. Finding it hard today. Like the joy has been sucked out of life. Day off tomorrow with kids. No idea what to do. Enthusiasm is at all time low. Everything has joy sucked out due to covid. Theme parks, shopping, farms, swimming, Parks, bowling... all the things we enjoy are just different now if they are open. It’s shite.

Kids behaving badly because they are bored. My eldest in reception missed so much school and now he doesn’t fall asleep til 9pm.

My husbands business is v v quiet. Very worrying. I’m finding this bit worse than lockdown.

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