Any isolated sahm out there?

[chocolatesweets]

I have toddler twins and I've never felt so isolated and unseen than during this pandemic. I know everyone's been isolated but it's been difficult as a sahm with no contact from toddler groups or work etc.

I know some people have had to juggle everything, work and kids from home and that is worse but sometimes I feel at least they've talked to someone over zoom or they still feel part of a team.

I feel invisible. No claps for sahms. No parks open but pubs are . I literally feel I don't exist.

I know I'm lucky I haven't lost my job but I'm looking at this from a sahm perspective.

Anyone else in same position? I've decided I can't do this anymore so I'm getting a part time job.

Hi chocolatesweets,

You are not alone - I feel exactly the same. I became a first-time Mum in November last year and had just got the hang of going out with a baby (with a regular weekly schedule of events) when everything shut down. I didn't attend NCT or equivalent and so I was hoping to build up a Mum network via baby classes and meet ups. I feel very isolated and lonely and part of a forgotten section of society. The online baby classes are no longer sufficient to keep my little one entertained and so every day feels the same. I long for in-person classes and play areas to reopen so that I can meet people again, but I've accepted that this is unlikely to happen for quite a while. There are also limited options for me to meet up with non-Mum friends for baby-free time - I really miss the cinema and theatre!

I'm interested to know how other sahms are coping and building up a network from scratch in the current situation. What part-time work are you hoping to move into?

Hi
@chocolatesweets. Totally empathise and feel the same way. I feel the days seem even longer as OH is at home, he’s not as hands on as thinks he’s around more but it just seems a struggle keeping my toddler away from his zoom calls. I feel the hardest bit also, is the lack of conversation and adult company!

I used to work in an office and the idea of sitting down to do some work with a hot cup of tea sounds like heaven. 🙈

I'm sorry you both feel the same. I hope this changes for us soon.

Oh gosh yes. I was struggling a bit beforehand though tbh as I had failed to make many good mum friends and the one I was getting close to moved hundreds if miles away. It didn't help that my son was a difficult baby and hated going out to baby groups so I didn't go to many (he's on a waiting list to see if he's autistic). Then my mum was seriously ill then died just over a year and a half ago and i also had a baby a few weeks before that so I had little time or mental space to make new friends. I didn't realise how much I relied on mum just to visit and chat to. However this year, partly out of loneliness, I started a course at the local college thinking I'd make friends there but then Corona came along, and though I can the course online I haven't found it easy to then make friends with my class as every one just signs off afterwards. The parks are open round my way now and we go there lots but I can't hang around the park all day! Meanwhile my husband is (luckily) a key worker, so he's not even been at home. I'm lucky I know and we're lucky as a family, but I'm still very lonely.

Bless you, I'm so sorry to hear about your mum.

I'm a single mum to 3DC. My eldest has ASD. Home schooling the eldest 2 since March (youngest is only 2).
No break at all. Their dad didn't see them from March until June and even then he's seen them for 1 hour every other weekend.

It's been difficult but only in the context that I've realised exactly how isolated I am. People I thought were friends have gone from keeping in touch a lot to once a week, since things opened up more. Well, for others at least. Not as easy to get out & about with 3DC and no car!

Thanks for this thread, I’m definitely feeling this! I feel completely invisible at the moment - it helps to know there are others feeling the same.

@Halfeatentoast I’m so sorry for your loss, that is unbelievably tough. I agree with you about college; I was also a few months into a course (I’m retraining) and it was making a big difference getting some balance back into my life - we will have lost at least six months by the time we start back! I know it’s a very minor problem in the grand scheme of things but it feels like such a setback personally.

and for everyone - I’ve always hated this phrase but I’m clinging to it now: this too shall pass!

Thanks chocolate and @Twothousandzerozero yes it's been tough.

Oof 6 months is a huge amount of time lost on your course. So frustrating.

I thought I would check back in to this thread and see how everyone is doing.

@chocolatesweets - how are you doing?

@Shitfuckoh - will your eldest two be returning to school? Hopefully this will give you a bit of breathing space.

@Halfeatentoast - what a tough time you have had. :( Will your course continue to be online this term?

@Twothousandzerozero - I hope you manage to catch up when your course resumes.

I'm hoping that some in-person baby classes will resume in my area soon so that I can start to socialise my little one. Her favourite pasttime at the moment is people-watching at the playground.