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Covid

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Original poster

Visiting parents - what are the rules?

14 replies

CurtainWitcher · 18/07/2020 22:15

I just can't figure this out.

Tomorrow DH, two DC and I are going to visit my parents.

I know we're allowed indoors and can eat with them, use the loo etc, but can we touch? Their house is tiny, so staying 1m apart isn't feasible.

They're over 80 years old and have hardly seen anyone since lockdown.

OP posts:

Whatifitallgoesright · 18/07/2020 23:05

I've loosely planned to visit my parents also in their 80's next weekend. It's a 3.5hr drive so staying overnight. We're due to stay in their apartment as the retirement place's guest suite isn't allowing visitors. I've been in two minds but is this a really stupid idea? They've hardly seen anyone and now they'll have my partner and me who've been working out of the house and a grandchild who's been in school for five weeks. Everything just seems so contradictory now I don't know my arse from elbow.

MyCatReallyIsAGit · 18/07/2020 23:12

Contradictory is about where it’s at, isn’t it? We are due to visit my DPs soon, who are in their 70s. Our personal judgement is that it is ok to visit and stay but we’ll wait until DC1 has been out of school for over a week and not showing any symptoms, and we’ll avoid shops and crowded places that week (I know this isn’t infallible). I will distance from my DPs but we don’t expect my 4 year old to.

This is by no means advice but it’s what we feel comfortable with and feels broadly in line with guidance - have you discussed distancing and precautions with your parents at all?

LilyPond2 · 19/07/2020 00:27

OP, I would have thought that if you are going to be in the same small room as your parents for several hours at a distance of less than a metre, any additional risk specifically from touching is going to be pretty minimal, so I would greet them as you would have done pre-lockdown if they are happy with that.

Lockdownseperation · 19/07/2020 07:15

The rules are you need to be 1m+ apart. This means if it’s impossible to be 2m apart then you need to be 1m apart plus a mask. You need to take extra care inside.

LilyPond2 · 19/07/2020 11:14

There is a difference between rules and guidance. You are not breaking the law by being within one metre of your parents, but Lockdownseparation is right that the guidance is that you should socially distance, so if maintaining a 2 metre distance is impossible you should maintain at least a one metre distance combined with additional precautions such as a mask.

Yellowbutterfly1 · 19/07/2020 11:19

I agree with what LilyPond2 says.

Remember it’s guidance and not rules. Do whatever you feel is right whilst looking at the guidance.

MabelMoo23 · 19/07/2020 11:27

The rules are you are allowed to be inside as you are one household but the guidance is that you should maintain social distancing (is my understanding) So basically no hugging / touching

ohthegoats · 19/07/2020 11:30

What are you all comfortable with?
What is community transmission like in your area?
Have you all been adhering to 'rules' (whatever the hell they are) so far?

My partner is staying at his parents with our child. They decided this was OK. I have been back at school, child has been back at school, partner has been in and out of hospital having surgery. They've been going to the allotment.

Who bloody knows?!

cologne4711 · 19/07/2020 11:45

This is all a bit silly isn't it. I visited my mum and because she's on her own, we're allowed to hug and act like we're one household.

But if my dad were still alive and living with her, we wouldn't be able to.

Do what you want to do, if you've been more or less following the rules yourself the risks are tiny.

Lockdownseperation · 19/07/2020 11:54

It’s not silly though. It’s designed to reduce overall social interaction to protect more vulnerable members of society.

Dotinthecity · 19/07/2020 15:38

Hug them if you/they want you to. Who will know if you've hugged them? There are guidelines being bandied about but there are no rules about hugging.

PhilSwagielka · 19/07/2020 19:22

Mine are talking about coming up north. I think we're supposed to meet in a park, as opposed to them coming into my house. They probably won't let them hug me. Mum is a bit paranoid.

FelineUK · 20/07/2020 01:23

Myself and DH are due to visit my father in two weeks. Haven't seen him since February. We'll be staying overnight for a few days as it's 4.5 hours trip each way and he lives in the middle of nowhere and sees no-one. He hasn't heard of much Covid where he is so pooh-poohs it and won't understand that we're wearing masks to keep us all safe, and no hugging.

Topseyt · 20/07/2020 01:55

We are going to see my parents next weekend. I haven't seen them since last August one way or another due to various issues, then came lockdown.

They are in their eighties and have been shielding, but have had several serious health crises during lockdown and have been very lucky to make it through alive.

I am actually so relieved that I will actually see them both alive again that I really can't envisage us bothering with social distancing. It won't feel right or natural.

As a family we have stuck with the "rules" up to now, but life over the past few weeks has given us all such a battering and bruising (metaphorically) that I don't think we give a shit about "rules" anymore, nor even have any clue what they are anymore.

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