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Help me 'win'

6 replies

Harencha · 15/07/2020 01:43

I've been for a friends 'big birthday' Parry tonight, drinks in her garden. My group of friends, as heath care workers have completely relaxed. I on the other hand am still very cautious - 2m distancing and lots of hand cleaning/gelling. It was even a running joke amongst friends how they were surprised I wasn't wearing a mask etc (I'm OK with this, it's how we joke).

I did confess to my OH on the way home when he picked me up to smoking two cigarettes. He is very, very anti smoking and hates that I have one or two when drunk (maybe twice a year).

He says as the person I got them off will have brushed their hand against them, and I put it to my mouth, that I now need to distance from the family for 2 weeks. I pointed out that he did his hobby today and got equipment off his hobby partner which he brought home but this isn't the same as it didn't go in his mouth.

He's sleeping in DC bedroom. I do think this is more about the smoking than Covid but Covid gives him a stick to beat me with.

How can I explain the risk was so low, just like when, for example, we had tea outside at a tearoom using their cups?

It's not about winning as such, but putting it into perspective! I'm super cautious, in a region where cases are below 3 per week and we were outside with me still 2m distancing! Surely my risk assessment is enough?!

OP posts:
Harencha · 15/07/2020 01:45

PS first cigarette she passed me, second I got myself. The handgel I use has protective properties for up to 4 hours and in 4 hours I used it about 10 times!

OP posts:
RainbowMum11 · 15/07/2020 02:14

Does that mean that you get 2 weeks of time to yourself while he looks after the kids, house, cooking etc? If so, brilliant! Take him at his word!
And yes, it does sound like punishment for smoking but how old are you? Surely old enough to make your own choices in that respect?

Harencha · 15/07/2020 08:45

Well he does have some work days this week so not sure how he's expecting this to pan out given that noone who isn't shielding is being as strict as us and so noone can babysit!

Cringing at the title of this thread, I'm gonna get some stick for it! I just wanted a title to grab attention!

I'm going to start panicking about the risk now he's pinpointed it. I definitely think it's a stick to beat me with though as I social distanced and used handgel but he always makes a drama of me going out drinking, like a jealousy /spite thing. Not a LTB type thing, he's brilliant in many other ways!

Did I really put us at risk? At least anymore risk than him touching a friends equipment and subconsciously touching his face?!

OP posts:
Waxonwaxoff0 · 15/07/2020 08:57

He's being absolutely ridiculous.

inmylifeIlovedthemall · 15/07/2020 09:10

I think ‘winning’ right now is about trying to balance anxiety about contracting CV with an attempt to get our lives back to normal. Mental health is as important as physical health.

I am on the extremely vulnerable list and still don’t go to shops, but the risks are currently lower and I walk, go to the allotment etc, all in a socially distanced way.

I think you sound slightly over anxious, which is to be expected given what we have been through, but your DH really needs to find more balance.

GabriellaMontez · 15/07/2020 14:00

He's being ridiculous. Jealous and spiteful? What a wanker.

Take him up on his offer. Insist he has the kids.

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