Send DC2 back to nursery or see grandparents

[thebeergirl]

Hi all, just looking for a bit of affirmation really as I'm struggling a lot second-guessing my decisions.
We (me, DH, DCs 4 and 7) have been following lockdown closely. We've not been into shops since the start nor anywhere else since things started opening back up (save for emergency opticians for DC1 broken glasses).
Before lockdown, my parents provided a lot of childcare for us and DC2 went to pre-school 2 full days a week. My dad is 72 and has diabetes, so obviously we've been very careful. As we've all been isolated for over 2 weeks we started waiving the SD requirements with my parents. Now we can go inside their house, they're able (and very very willing) to look after the kids a couple days a week again.
DH and I are lucky to be able to wfh but its tough, so 2 days being able to work full pelt will be a godsend. Similarly, the kids and my parents are adoring spending time together again.
However, DC2 nursery opens up again today. We've made the decision not to send her back for a number of reasons. If she went, we wouldn't send the children to my parents house. They'd miss out playing with their grandparents and sleeping over. My parents would miss the children. My DH and I would get no child free working time to actually get work done.
But if she went, DC2 would be able to see her friends and nursery. We'd be able to start doing other things we couldn't do like DC1 ju jitsu class and their swimmimg classes, parks etc. Their lives would start getting back to 'normal'.

I'm finding it really difficult to know if I've made the right decision. DC2 has said she doesn't want to go to nursery and would probably take a while to settle back in (especially with new guidelines etc). She'd be back 5 weeks before her school started - just long enough to get back into friendships that would then end as they're all going to different schools. Thus more upheaval - or a chance to say goodbye and close a chapter...(not that i think she would comprehend that at 4 really). Neither child seems to be suffering from the lockdown in terms of missing friends, missing activities etc.
I'm aware that I'm in a massively privileged position to even be having this turmoil, but i don't have the best mental health at the best of times and this whole period has not been good for me. I don't know anyone else who is taking the same path as us and I just need some independent views

My DD went back to nursery the day it opened, but in your case, since she's starting school soon anyway and seems happy enough now, I wouldn't be fussed about sending her back.
I would definitely send her to school though.

I’m in a very similar situation and have chosen to see family over nursery. DD aged 3 would miss grandparents (and vice versa) more than friends. And being able to see family (childcare is a bonus!) is more important for me and DH too.

Although DD wouldn’t start school this year, she has been offered a place in a specialist SEN pre-school which was due to start in September but has been delayed indefinitely. We will have to revisit our decision once we get a start date, but for now she is going to grandparents instead of nursery.

Given we are about to hit the summer holidays, so I'm guessing kids classes will be stopping, and your youngest is starting reception, I think I'd stick with grandparent care.
The oldest would get a really rough deal if their sibling went to nursery and they had to sit at home while you worked!

I can see that a short time in nursery might be disruptive but on the other hand I do think it will be hard for kids starting schools this year who haven’t been away from home for months. It’s a hard call to make.

I think not going to Nursery makes sense

I do think you may need to work out how to allow DD1 to visit parks and safely ee her friends

We have a same age child starting reception in Sept and we’ve sent him to nursery (with his younger brother) and seeing grandparents/ them doing childcare as I know a lot of people in real life are. However grandparents are a bit younger than yours and no underlying conditions. I found it a really difficult decision but grandparents were desperate to do childcare and I wanted esp DS1 to go back to nursery so it’s not a massive shock when he starts school. What will you do in September when they are back at school? If you are going to do no mixing from that point makes sense to me to maximise the time now to spend with grandparents.

I would choose grandparents too in this situation. The opportunity for mixing with peers will be there in the future but for older grandparents i would take the opportunity and appriciate the time together as that will be important both to your children and their grandparents.

I’m very pro nursery but given your youngest is starting school in September and your eldest is on summer holidays imminently, id take the grandparents up on their offer.

I would stick with grandparents, but it's really important for your younger child to socialise and see friends before Reception or she may find it tough.