Is nobody social distancing anymore?

[LittleMrsMama]

I'm over 39 weeks pregnant and have been isolating for the last 4 months apart from hospital appointments. Over the last week my social media has had an influx of people with their arms around each other, in large groups etc. I thought that maybe I'd missed something but checked online and social distancing is still meant to be taking place.

Many of these people are expecting to hold my baby when she arrives but I know will kick off if I say I'm not comfortable with it.

I feel like DH and I are the only people we know taking the rules seriously. Anyone else experienced the same or have a different perspective?

Most people I know are mostly following the rules but breaking a few. The breaking is often balanced by not taking advantage of other things that are now allowed, eg not going to pubs or supermarkets. They will be breaking rules like meeting up in groups of a bit more than 6 (but still always outside), or allowing the DCs to play but the adults will still observe social distancing. Friends are being sensible but doing their own assessment of risk vs wellbeing/quality of life. They are still a long way off licking random strangers (or even friends), and everyone is observing the hygiene guidelines like handwashing and separate loo for guests. It is nothing like being back to normal yet.

Why do people keep saying no one they know is at risk? Isn’t that the point of social distancing because pretty much everyone could be to some extent? What about people over the age of 60 being considerably more vulnerable regardless of underlying conditions? Or have I got this wrong?

@Tfoot75

New cases have NOT gone up in the UK. Not saying that they won't, but please don't spread false information. The rolling average is flat at 500 cases per day at the moment, the chart has not shown an increase at any point since April.

R number has gone up slightly since lockdown easing though.

I don't see any friends or family not doing social distancing on social media etc (although I have a couple of concerns about my in laws), but when I've been out and about people really don't seem to give a shit. I'm 39 weeks pregnant so staying cautious and not going out much. Family won't be holding the baby unless they've been strict on social distancing for two weeks (and after we've been out of hospital for two weeks) - just not worth the risk.

@Tfloot75 New cases HAVE gone up in the UK both in relative terms and the 5 day rolling average. Perhaps you should be the one to stop spreading false information! Data is from the world health organisation, I'm not sure where you're getting yours from.

Glad to see there are some people still social distancing but that it's not just me that has seen the shift of people choosing to relax the rules within their own group of friends and family.

Thanks for the support @nether and @HelenJ1977 - I'll definitely be keeping my baby distanced from people until I feel it's safe. I've had a difficult pregnancy and almost lost her a few months ago so she feels even more precious.

@languageteacher that's so bad people have tried to touch your baby and shake your hand etc. They shouldn't try to touch your baby even outside of Covid!

I feel exactly the same. Also pregnant. My parents are social distancing but that's it.
All my friends have stopped. I found it so much easier when the rules were stricter as me and DS could go for socially distanced walks with one friend and their child but now we can't see anyone because all my friends are getting together in groups and all the kids play together and it wouldn't be fair on my DS to be the only one who can't.
I've got key worker friends with direct contact with Covid patients and they and their kids are all mixing in big groups every day.
I feel quite lonely as it's just safer not to see anyone.
Noone will be holding my baby!

"Or have I got this wrong"

You have not got it wrong.

You cannot tell who is on the shield list by looking (it's not age related, it does include children)

You cannot tell who is on the wider 'vulnerable' list, though you can make a shot at age and obesity (BMI >40) from appearances. Then there is the (till not adequately understood) greater severity of illness in the BAME community

So youncouid either spend time trying to,work out who is at risk and who you would like to be protected; ot you couid just stay at least 2m away from strangers. I know which I'd find easier to do

There's a new thread like this daily and has been since the start of lock down so no, I don't think it's just you.

@Derbygerbil

There seems such a disparity.... Lots of people seem concerned, wear masks and obey the rules..... Others act like it’s all completely over.

The people acting like it's all over just don't give a shit and have done whatever they can get away with from the start. Maybe some have had it/think they've had it and therefore feel immune and free to do what they want.

You should still be obeying the rules, for the most part, risk assessing is all well and good if it's done logically but relying on the common sense of the public is a losing game.

I feel like DH and I are the only people we know taking the rules seriously.

Not the only ones.

There will also be the approximately 5000 MNers who've been boasting of being 'the only ones following the rules' for the past 4 months here.

I’ve worked throughout the virus and whilst I work I would easily come across 50+ people a day. My son has also been back at school for the last 6 week so I’ve been surrounded by hoardes of parents.

I don’t feel nervous about being near people at all and although obviously not going near people who are coughing and sneezing etc etc being close to people generally doesn’t worry me.

Of course infection rates are going to go up as the lockdown eases - it isn’t as though the virus has disappeared, it’s still here and obviously as more people get out and about the easier it is for the virus to spread. That was always going to happen.

We know a lot more about the virus now and people know to stay indoors and get tested if they display symptoms, and that washing hands is a good preventative measure too.

There have been numerous events having taken place over the last few months that people were adamant going to cause an increase in infections and deaths - but it didn’t happen.

Life has to return to some kind of normality at some point.

There

@icedpurple - the key words are 'the only people we know' - clearly I don't know all the 5k mumsnetters and I obviously don't think I'm the only person in the whole of the UK following the rules. I just can't name a single person I know that hasn't broken the rules.

@LittleMrsMama I think some of the cases they report are historical cases. On the official Gov website, here is the last week infection rate.

Good friends will understand your concern and will be happy to wait to hold your baby. I really wouldn’t worry about those who don’t.

I’m seeing the same thing as well OP. As previous post has said , I think it’s worth assessing your own risk and doing what to it comfortable with . I have been doing that with my own family - however out and about I’m absolutely keeping to social distancing. Some people do seem to not care anymore. Set your own boundaries and don’t be afraid to offend people .

We still are. My 13yr old son has brittle asthma which is very severe he takes 3 inhalers, montelukast, azythromycin and 8 steroid tablets a day. He goes downhill fast when he gets ill. It could go from a cough in the morning to within 2 hrs in hospital. I'm doing what's best for him and I can't take any risks right now.

It would appear it is! We are still social distancing - as in trying to maintain a distance, but different friends on fb, putting up pics of getting pissed on Wimbledon common with lots of huggy pics. Defo zero distancing there. Went out for lunch on Saturday, groups of friends all coming in for a Saturday sesh, again zero distancing

But we are still trying to. I’ve been to see my parents but only been inside since it was allowed

But honestly I’ve seen so many people completely ignoring it. What if one of them has it without realising??? Inadvertently getting a bit too close, fair enough, it happens. But completely disregarding it????

There is definitely a more relaxed feel when I walk round town. People used to cross the road to avoid others, now if you step aside to let someone by they look at you gone out. I've decided to let DD mix outside with grandparents and one friend as she is becoming withdrawn so I am also breaking the rules. I figure things may get worse in the winter so this is a less risky time to do it.

I feel similar to a pp. I've had to work throughout in a front line role, with very little PPE to start and no ability to social distance. As has my DH, DM, DF and DB. My DS has been in school, in a bubble but no social distancing. We are all at risk, constantly. My job involves risk assesment at a life or death level, every single day, which makes me much less risk averse than a lot of people as I have an understanding that you cannot completely mitigate all risk and there has to be a level of acceptance.

So when I sit on the park with friends, we sit 2m apart but we don't enforce that with the kids. When I visit my parents I allow them to hug my children. When we have had friends over in the garden, we allow them to use the toilet. The risk to all of us is fairly minimal and we are happy to accept that level of risk.

I know people who have had it and recovered. My father in law, who was shielding, died last week due to complications from a bowel obstruction which the GP missed because he refused to see him due to the covid restrictions. That may skew my perspective.

I've been out this morning and people are definitely still standing aside here and thanking others for doing so. At the last update from the local hospital one person had died of Covid in the last 6 weeks and only 3 are still being treated for it. 10 were awaiting test results but as everyone is routinely tested on admission they didn't necessarily have symptoms. Coincidence or have local people helped bring it down?

The R rate becomes less significant as cases drop. One outbreak in a factory can push it right up for example but that’s not reflective of what is happening across the country.

New cases is a better indicator...

Yes, very much around here, including GP surgeries and vets. The latter are back to normal service, but clients are still not allowed in and this looks to be the case until social distancing is no longer required. Sadly, a lot of clients are getting fed up now of having to wait outside and are registering with vets where they are allowed in.

We collected an order from Currys today. Drove up to a special bay and followed links from the confirmation email and they brought it out and put it straight in the boot. No need to even get out of the car never mind go inside the shop.

In Scotland now we have magic masks so no need for SD 😂

My family members and I are but no one else bloody well seems to!

We wear masks and social distance but I’m sick of having thick, selfish, rude people get right up behind me in queues or shops or not attempt to tell their older children (7 plus) not to bump into people and push them out of the way etc. I’ve only just started venturing out and I’m disgusted in what I’ve seen. Just now in the queue at the chemists, clear spots of where we were meant to stand, the woman in front kept wandering back and forth to where I was stood, was letting her daughter of 8 or so barge into me so she could run her hands all over the counter and barge into me, then a young man barged in, walked the wrong way round the one way system, pushed me off the spot where I was paying and tried to get behind the bloody counter.

Wtf is wrong with people?!

I’m pregnant too, 33 weeks with a high risk pregnancy and we are all self isolating. My 18 year old can get his head around the importance of it and hasn’t complained once.

My family and Dh friends, not so much.

My dad is 85 and had two days in hospital last week for some tests for his cancer. He was told to go home and self isolate for two weeks after as the hospital is still treating covid patients.

What did he do? Went to Asda the next day and then drove around all the barbers on July 4th, two days after, to find one that would cut his hair. Carried on going to the shops everyday since. He doesn’t keep his distance from anyone, never has done. Imagine if he’s picked it up, even if not symptomatic himself, the amount of people he’s been in contact with. Fucking idiotic.

He’s constantly guilt tripping me about coming to stay. There’s no way.