Letting the Grandparents hug my 8 month old

[bobby2step]

In terms of keeping to the Covid rules and etiquette, I'm pretty sure me and my wife done everything to the letter. I work from home & she's on maternity leave until November, so our contact with others is extremely minimal.

Now our son is 8 months old, and I'm starting to worry about his social development due to his lack of contact with anybody (apart from us). He's approaching almost half of his life with no baby groups, no playing with friends babies, and no touch contact with Grandparents.

After weighing everything up, me and my wife are willing the bubble-up with 2 Grandparents - even though this is against the rules.
Is it wrong for me to allow contact with Grandparents? (early 60s, no health issues). Am I crazy in worrying about the longterm effects this will have on my son?

If they were happy, we would be happy to break this Covid rule.

I thought you were allowed to do this now?

My kids have been seeing my parents for a few weeks, including my 10 week old. Honestly, half the people I know are having parties so I am not stopping my parents from seeing their grandchildren any longer. We all have minimal contact with others. My mam and dad are desperate for them to go for a sleepover but we have said no to that for now. X

So many people seem to think this is allowed already, although if you read the guidance carefully it says you can only visit others in their homes (or stay overnight) but you should still keep social distance from anyone who isn’t from your household!

That being said if everyone in yours and there household is staying home I’d totally buddy up. I’d love to see my family but they live hours away and my husbands family think going shopping in town and out every weekend is safe so I don’t feel safe in letting them have contact with my 7 month old!

I would not hesitate to do this if the grandparents were sensible about seeing others as the risk is so very minimal

@Tilly28

So many people seem to think this is allowed already, although if you read the guidance carefully it says you can only visit others in their homes (or stay overnight) but you should still keep social distance from anyone who isn’t from your household!

That being said if everyone in yours and there household is staying home I’d totally buddy up. I’d love to see my family but they live hours away and my husbands family think going shopping in town and out every weekend is safe so I don’t feel safe in letting them have contact with my 7 month old!

My sister in law has fell out with us because I wont let her meet our baby. She is in and out of shops and friends houses everyday and has been to house parties the last 3 weekends in a row. I dont care what she does but dont feel comfortable when she is around sooo many people. We feel quite comfortable seeing my parents as they dont go far and neither do we. I dont see the point of social distancing within a house, and it is pretty impossible with young kids anyway. My mam wouldnt let them go without a cuddle anyway and thats her risk to take i suppose.

I'm so with you @tilly28z. T

There are so many people that have interpreted the guidelines incorrectly and think they can do things they shouldn't. A classic is that we can now be 1m from oneanother but it's 1m plus some sort of protection like a face covering and only why 2m isn't possible.

@bobby2step I do commend you though. I think you're being sensible in weighing up all the risks and also owning the fact that you may break lockdown rules but if everyone consents and you make it as safe as possible then that's completely up to you. After reading a recent article about a young baby contracting Coronavirus from their neighbours and passing away I don't know if I would be able to take the risk of contact just yet, but definitely would want my baby to have lots of interaction with grandparents

If you can let grandparents hug your 8 month old while still maintaining a 2m distance (some kind of super power, perhaps), go ahead. If not, then no. The rule is 2m apart or 1m with face coverings/other special measures. Yes, your child might end up suffering as a result of this, but so will thousands of other children and adults - but if nobody bothers following the rules that are in place for a reason, people will die. How is this so difficult for people to understand?!

I understand your concerns, Bobby. Please don't worry too much about your son; when he starts 'mixing' with people again he will not be the only child of his age who hasn't seen anyone except parents for a few months. It will be the 'new normal' for them and they will soon adapt to being social animals again.

I'll leave interpretation of current guidelines to others because I am not sure what is allowed and what is not. I imagine if grandparents have been isolating, your two households could join but others know better.

Honestly, let them do it. My parents and me have barley even been going to shops and they’ve held my newborn. Mental health is important too!! the risk is minimal

You have to do what is right for your situation. We've let grandparents over the past couple of weeks hug and look after our little one who is nearly 1. I'm going back to work in a couple of weeks so she needs to get used to going to their home and they need to get used to looking after her as she's changed so much nearly 4 months and they'll be providing childcare once per week. (Which they are allowed to do, they are early 60s and no underlying health issues)
Community transmission is low in our area. Covid isn't going anywhere any time soon.

In Scotland Nicola Sturgeon stated under 12’s don’t have to socially distance.

Yes, rules are rules.

So let's consider this: Hypothetically, I "split up" with my wife, then she is allowed to move in with her parents. I am then a single parent household and I then choose to bubble up with my wife and in-laws. We then reconcile, so in the end we achieve the coupling up with grandparents.

I'm assuming this is perfectly fine for you? After all, it's within the rules defined by the Government for England.

Ah sorry, that message was supposed to be in response to p0rridge

@UranusAttacks

In Scotland Nicola Sturgeon stated under 12’s don’t have to socially distance.

Thanks for the info. Maybe I should wait it out, and maybe soon kids will be able to hug grandparents in England.

Yes, your child might end up suffering as a result of this, but so will thousands of other children and adults
I cant believe people are OK with this.

OP just let your parents hug your baby. It is against the rules. But for yours, your baby's and your parents' mental health just do it. If you've all been careful the risk is so so low to everyone. If you want to be extra safe you could ask your parents to self isolate (and you do the same) to ensure you dont have it before meeting up.

@LittleMrsMama

I'm so with you *@tilly28z*. T

There are so many people that have interpreted the guidelines incorrectly and think they can do things they shouldn't. A classic is that we can now be 1m from oneanother but it's 1m plus some sort of protection like a face covering and only why 2m isn't possible.

@bobby2step I do commend you though. I think you're being sensible in weighing up all the risks and also owning the fact that you may break lockdown rules but if everyone consents and you make it as safe as possible then that's completely up to you. After reading a recent article about a young baby contracting Coronavirus from their neighbours and passing away I don't know if I would be able to take the risk of contact just yet, but definitely would want my baby to have lots of interaction with grandparents

Of course that story is tragic. However it did happen in Indonesia so not exactly comparable to the UK. life expectancy 67/71 vs 80/83 and 6x higher rates of infant mortality (25 in 1000). Data from WHO.

I’ve temporarily moved in with my parents whilst we’re having work done on our bathrooms. DD(6) has not been social distancing from them. My parents have been shielding since lockdown began and DH and I were both working from home and avoiding going out as much as possible.

I would let them hug your baby as long as you have all been as sensible as possible with the rules.

So many people seem to think this is allowed already, although if you read the guidance carefully it says you can only visit others in their homes (or stay overnight) but you should still keep social distance from anyone who isn’t from your household!

This

@LemonadeAndDaisyChains

So many people seem to think this is allowed already, although if you read the guidance carefully it says you can only visit others in their homes (or stay overnight) but you should still keep social distance from anyone who isn’t from your household!

This

I understand what the rules are.

You could choose to:
Go to the pub every day
Take public transport as much as you want
Work in an office environment
Eat out at restaurants
Go to the beach on a busy day
etc etc etc

You may have a household of 8 people doing all of this, and it is perfectly acceptable because it is within the rules. Each of their own potential personal transmission rates imo would be way higher than if me, my wife & son coupled up with her parents.

Like I said in a previous message, I could work around the rules and split up with my wife to create a bubbling up that would be within the rules. It seems ridiculous that would suddenly make it all ok.

We have a newborn and a toddler.

Before the baby arrived, we had PIL over for a couple of BBQs once it was allowed. The adults social distanced but we all agreed in advance that we were happy for DD to do as she wished. At that stage neither of us had been anywhere anyway.

Baby arrived last week. All grandparents visited and all had cuddles. I didn't socially distance from my parents who I hadn't seen in months, again agreed in advance. PIL did continue to distance from the adults which is absolutely fine.

Honestly, we're all much lower risk than the grandparents so we've taken their lead as to what they're comfortable with.

We've done it. A couple of times now and we are being ultra careful. No pubs, restaurants or haircuts for us. Also second wave could be coming and this may be our only chance.
Also we do hugs every now and then and the rest of the day at distance. We dont have singing and kissing the children to try and limit viral load.

@MindyStClaire we've discussed the reality of it being fatal to them so it's up to them to take the risk.

You couldn't make this up.

In this vid, the PM contradicts the rules regarding grandparents and bubbling up.

Of course I would. It's fine

My DS is a similar age. I've let grandparents hug him. We all made the decision together. It would be awful if something happened and they hadn't held him. Everyone needs to make their own risk assessment

I'm trying to let my parents in law hold my 6 month old (baby screams though because she isn't used to other people!) Because I need to go back to work soon and they are my childcare, we cannot pay our bills if I don't go back to work so don't feel like I have a choice really. I have a part time minimum wage job so if I paid for childcare it wouldn't be worth working