Mask anxiety - are most places quite tolerant if you’re exempt?

[maskanxiety]

My mum can’t/won’t wear masks . Not sure exactly why but something to do with a rape she experienced back in the 70s . She is absolutely terrified of wearing them and of others wearing them - ie needed a nurse appointment last week and actually ran when nurse came through with mask on .

Her MH team are very aware and working with her but said for her sake she should be exempt just now, and they’ve provided her with an exemption card . We are trying in the house with a variety of scarves and coverings .

Are most shops and that quite tolerant? She’s a non driver so needs to use buses etc . Presently we she just isn’t going out much but tomorrow we are going to Aldi and she will need a mask then . Worried she’s going to find she’s refused entry to shops etc or be on the receiving end of abuse for not wearing one . What should we do, especially if this becomes a permanent change?

Oh your poor mum

As someone who can't wear a mask I'm dreading them being made mandatory here. So many people think you just need to "get over it and wear one" - great, I'll just tell my ASD to do one, shall I?

Then if you give your reason for not wearing one, you get "well, my cousins neighbours aunts butcher has ASD and he can wear a mask so there's no reason you can't wear one too".

It's awful and the attitude on here towards people who can't wear a mask is absolutely disgusting. Thankfully I've not seen it much in real life where I live. People seem much more accepting.

Bus drivers are lax about enforcement here and let people on whose excuse is “forgotten”. (Stagecoach).
Other passengers who have overcome their own issues are less happy than the drivers who don’t wear one anyway, presumably because they have spit screens.

A sunflower lanyard would excuse anyone to me but I’d expect them to protect others by using the bus as little as possible.

Your Mum can't expect other people not to be wearing masks no. Scotland will be the place with the most mask wearing.

We didn’t go to Aldi in the end yesterday ... it’s very difficult all round as she says she desperately wants to get back to normal, but no idea how she can ever do that if she can’t wear a mask . Lots of comments on FB that disabled people (non mask users) shouldn’t be allowed out to not put everyone else at risk . Lots of shops up here put on FB they will refuse service to anyone not wearing a mask regardless of why ... very difficult .

She’s slowly accepting that others will wear masks and generally OK if she recognises the person but I’m not sure how that’s going to play out in the long run . I don’t drive either, only nearby relative who does is 80 (so probably shouldn’t be driving as much now) - so reliant on buses for everything . She’s stuck in a tiny village if not, with one small shop and pharmacy and nothing else . Even the GP surgery is a taxi or bus away . She’s got a taxi card so she can avoid buses at least .

I suppose best thing all round is if she can tolerate wearing a mask, I’m trying to get used to wearing mine now and going for walks wearing it, keeping it on whilst watching TV etc to practice ... she’s maybe best doing that too - can’t imagine any of this changing before Christmas at least .

She has got a lanyard coming in the post (sunflower one) so hopefully that turns up soon . Think that will help .

It is worth trying different masks as they vary a lot and each member of my family has a style they prefer.
As they have been compulsory for us for a while now we have experimented a fair bit.
No one is allowed in a shop without a mask where we live regardless of situation.
DS struggles with them a lot for sensory reasons but practice helps.

Would she wear a face shield? They are acceptable instead of a mask.

My local bus co have a card you can order for free to say you’re exempt.

Oh, Christ i hope this is done before Christmas!

Hi I don’t know if this helps but masks are NOT mandatory - it’s face coverings which could be a scarf loosely over her mouth and nose.

We can also get a shield that drops down from a cap and bandana style ones if your mum would find them easier.

Bus drivers are lax about enforcement here

And rightly so. Bus drivers are not police officers.

A bus driver was beaten to death in France attempting to "enforce" mask wearing

@FizzFan

It’s not mandatory if you have a medical reason but as others have said the issue may be more other people wearing them.

Your poor mum. Hopefully this tokenism and virtue signalling won’t go on too long.

I agree. It is pure virtue signalling. One lovely person on here the other day openly threatened to film non mask wearers and post it on social media.

Your poor mum.

I had the same reaction to seeing surgical masks on faces for similar reasons in the past. I had EMDR and through dealing with the cause of the aversion, the flight reaction calmed down.

Might be an idea to keep in mind in case she keeps having the reaction.

Some of these responses amaze me and is why this pandemic will keep bubbling up. Wearing a mask protects others from you and I don't want to be in close proximity in a shop or on a bus to someone who isn't wearing a suitable face covering to protect me and others. I have sympathy for those who can't cover up and have gone down the medical exemption route but it doesn't make your breath/coughs/spittle any less infectious to the rest of us. My husband is diabetic and living with renal cancer (having had one kidney removed already) and when I go out I don't want to contend with deniers, don't-want-to's or can't-be-arsed's. If you don't want to cover up then stay in the fresh air or at home.

Or shouldn't the mask wearers stay at home? Obviously being scared is what is making you wear a mask, you'd be safer at home. The government want us back in the shops spending money, they seem to think everyone in a mask will get us all back out there. However, I've already seen the pictures on the news this morning in Scotland, countless people wearing their masks under their noses. It will also cause a false sense of security no doubt and people will just gather more closely.

@onedayinthefuture

Or shouldn't the mask wearers stay at home? Obviously being scared is what is making you wear a mask, you'd be safer at home. The government want us back in the shops spending money, they seem to think everyone in a mask will get us all back out there. However, I've already seen the pictures on the news this morning in Scotland, countless people wearing their masks under their noses. It will also cause a false sense of security no doubt and people will just gather more closely.

I agree. If you are scared/ anxious stay home with your masks but please let the rest of us live.

"but please let the rest of us live"

I've been hearing that almost since the start.

So indoors, essentially excluded from society, we have the shielded (any age, including 90,000+ children), the elderly, the obese, other medically vulnerable, the fat and, on some threads, the BAME community.

Not those who cannot wear masks.

I get the logic. But who is left, after all those people have been excluded?

Wearing a mask is an act of kindness, not an act of fear. The protection is largely for others.

We need to make it normal, at least for the next six months, maybe for a year. I’m not in the least bit worried about COVID myself (low risk categories across every axis, no vulnerable family member etc), but I still wear a mask when I’m out in the shops.

How ironic @EnlightenedOwl that other people wearing masks could help you and others not to catch the virus, and in some serious cases, live.

OP in Scotland it's been recommended for weeks to wear a covering in shops but there was pretty low uptake. I didn't see anyone yesterday in my local supermarket without a covering. If I saw someone not wearing one now I would simply assume there was good reason and none of my business. The government here is encouraging us not to create any stigma for people who can't wear one or try to self police. The daily briefing yesterday covered this quite a bit so might be worth a watch in terms of tolerance. Before it was made mandatory, I'm afraid I did judge the majority of people who weren't wearing them.

and for your Mum OP

@Pinniped

How ironic *@EnlightenedOwl* that other people wearing masks could help you and others not to catch the virus, and in some serious cases, live.

OP in Scotland it's been recommended for weeks to wear a covering in shops but there was pretty low uptake. I didn't see anyone yesterday in my local supermarket without a covering. If I saw someone not wearing one now I would simply assume there was good reason and none of my business. The government here is encouraging us not to create any stigma for people who can't wear one or try to self police. The daily briefing yesterday covered this quite a bit so might be worth a watch in terms of tolerance. Before it was made mandatory, I'm afraid I did judge the majority of people who weren't wearing them.

Personally I judge those who do. Over anxious, crippled with fear. Why don't you all stay inside and judge from there

@nether

"but please let the rest of us live"

I've been hearing that almost since the start.

So indoors, essentially excluded from society, we have the shielded (any age, including 90,000+ children), the elderly, the obese, other medically vulnerable, the fat and, on some threads, the BAME community.

Not those who cannot wear masks.

I get the logic. But who is left, after all those people have been excluded?

Well the obese can do something about it surely.

@EnlightenedOwl I’m not in the least bit scared, I’m really not. I’m glad to get back to normal life, and I’m happy to make minor adjustments to my behaviour to enable that to happen. Wearing a mask in public is a minor adjustment that protects others.

@EnlightenedOwl what a ridiculous statement, so everyone in Scotland should now stay indoors as it is the law now. And you've got it wrong - speaking personally till now i haven't been wearing a face covering because I am scared or anxious of catching it.

I agree. It is pure virtue signalling.

No more than people refusing signals a problem with authority.