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Pre Covid life taken for granted

20 replies

BumbleWumble · 07/07/2020 11:48

I often think about how I just took life before Covid for granted. I always knew things could change for the worse of course, but I never imagined like this. Even the few times the possiblity of a pandemic crossed my mind, it did not occur to me that life would become so severely curtailed as a result. It just seems so hard to accept that what was just everyday life for so long, for the time being has become an unattainable dream.

I know the most tragic part of this whole thing is all the lives lost as well as all the people being left with serious health issues. However as yet, and touch wood, I do not know any one personally. It's obvious from my previous posts I am extremely anxious about the virus itself. But I also feel such a painful yearning for how life used to be. Sometimes I get a memory of something not very long ago, and it seems so close I can almost taste it, yet so far because now it would be an impossible situation. It's like a mental torment.

I understand why social distancing has to happen and of course adhere to the rules, but I find this 'New Normal' so distressing. Just 6 months ago we could walk out the front door and go where we wanted and meet who we wanted without a second thought. Now there is the constant fear of the virus, and we have to carefully think about where we go and how we interact with others, essentially keeping away from them as much as possible.

Although of course better than the alternative, it just seems such a sad existence now. The thought that it could go on for years like this, or worse indefinitely, is unbearable. But really a vaccine is the only way out, isn't it? if there is never a vaccine, this will just go on.

OP posts:
SnuggyBuggy · 07/07/2020 11:52

It's never going to feel normal for me and there is nothing about this "new normal" I can embrace

AwkwardAsAllGetout · 07/07/2020 11:54

I think it’s easy to feel anxious but tbh what good will it do? Unless you’re medically vulnerable you can get out and about more now. I’ve been shopping with my teenager and the only real difference was a few queues and sanitiser at every shop which is all you can sensibly do. I don’t live in fear of the virus, and I really don’t think thats a healthy way to live. You can take steps to keep yourself safe when you’re out and about. Things WILL get back to normal. I think acceptance of the way things are right now is something you have to come to terms with. This won’t last forever

Orangeblossom78 · 07/07/2020 13:21

I kind of struggled with social anxiety anyway so some of this is not new to me. It helps me to know in advance who I am meeting and it can be a relief not to hug people (or worse, air kiss) people who are not close family. I also found crowds stressful so there is less of that now (although queues are not good)

Maybe it is helpful in a strange way if you already found things tricky. Not sure.

Redolent · 07/07/2020 13:32

Agreed OP. Those flashes of recent memories feel quite painful sometimes. I crave a return to
that too. And I’m jealous of people in New Zealand who have gone back to that old life, even if there’s a real economic thread to their international isolation.

Orangeblossom78 · 07/07/2020 14:03

We have a relative on Guernsey, and they too are living normally

Buzzfrightyears · 07/07/2020 14:57

I hear you. Therapy has taught me we are basically grieving for our old lives. I don’t know what to advise though.

Cusano34 · 07/07/2020 15:32

I have family in Italy and they’re pretty much going about their normal lives again too now. My family from the north are visiting the ones in the south and doing everything we’d normally be doing in summer. We’d be getting ready to travel down there for the holidays too so it’s really gutting and painful seeing their photos ☹️

okiedokieme · 07/07/2020 15:38

@Cusano34

Unfortunately countries have started that (eg Spain) and found themselves back in lockdown. As will we in due course. As horrific as it is, we need to accept that we need to either modify our lives or live with the risk unless a vaccine is found. Personally I'm accepting the risk (helps I had it mildly in March)

Redolent · 07/07/2020 15:42

@Cusano34

I read this about Italy today and found it worrying. Wouldn’t be going to any mass gatherings there any time soon.

———-

The potential move towards forced hospitalisations came after a cluster of infections arose in the northern Veneto region, triggered by a man who developed coronavirus symptoms on the day he returned from a business trip to Serbia and initially resisted treatment in hospital.

Advertisement

The 64-year-old, from Vicenza, is now in a serious but stable condition in hospital. Five others tested positive and 89 people were quarantined after he attended a funeral and birthday party at which there were more than 100 guests.

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 07/07/2020 15:43

I'm really struggling too. Off the back of trauma that saw me diagnosed with ptsd, I'd just about got my life perfect. I don't want "new normal", I want what I had. There is no spontaneity, things need booking in advance. Lots of people I liked have shown themselves in a very ugly light, perhaps driven by fear but still. Half my friends are still terrified. I'm just going through the motions but I don't want to live in this world. If I didn't have young children, I wouldn't still be here.

My mum went shopping today, she's not doing that any more because she said it was miserable and depressing.

ButteryPuffin · 07/07/2020 15:45

There will be a vaccine. We've got to stick it out till it's available. But it will come. And then we need to make the most of life and what we've learned from quarantine.

onedayinthefuture · 07/07/2020 16:01

I agree, there's just no popping to the shops anymore or a trip to the cafe and farm with my DS on a whim. Everything has to be booked in advance or time spent in a queue. There are some glimmers as many sports clubs are starting back with the allied number of people, even if it's just the exercise part of it but it helps. I'm going to buy a membership for my local zoo so I can spend time their with the kids this summer. They have a play park, crazy golf etc. At least it's summer...... dreading winter if there's no resolution.

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 07/07/2020 16:04

what we've learned from quarantine.

What exactly is that?

I've learnt that being stuck with my family 24/7 is hell. That therapy had just helped me find some coping mechanisms but all those coping mechanisms relied on me being able to keep busy out of the house for a good 10 hours a day. That I hate myself.

My kids have a folder full of activities and crafts. We have over 2000 photos taken during lockdown to now. We climbed on rocks, paddled in the sea ( we live 150 metres from it), I've baked, painted, knitted, sewed, redesigned the play room, built a life sized robot out of the recycling for ds and made a decent dinosaur cake for DS's birthday. I would swap all of that in a heartbeat for the 2020 we had planned.

rc22 · 07/07/2020 16:06

I just want to hug my mum. The rest I can handle!!

Orangeblossom78 · 07/07/2020 16:07

You can possibly change the way you look at some of it. For example maybe it revealed what some people are like in a way you didn't realise before and you don't want to be around them anymore and that is OK.

Maybe it can be a way of avoiding annoying people and family you don't like. Just trying to think of some ways it may be helpful

But I agree it is mostly rubbish. I'm most upset by the impact on my children for example end of primary school events

BumbleWumble · 07/07/2020 16:14

@Orangeblossom78

We have a relative on Guernsey, and they too are living normally
I knew about Guernsey and also the Isle of Wight. I mean it's one thing thinking about New Zealand carrying on as normal, but quite another to think of parts of your own country doing it. I am pleased for them obviously, just extremely envious. Although me being me I'd probably still be anxious about it lurking somewhere.
OP posts:
FrugiFan · 07/07/2020 16:31

This is not the "new normal" it is just the current situation. I really doubt it will be forever - at some point life will have to continue. To be honest our pre-covid life contained lots of things which should be taken for granted. We shouldnt have to feel grateful that we can visit our family or go for a walk with a friend or go swimming. Those things should be freely available in a free society.

Cusano34 · 07/07/2020 20:26

@rc22 yes! I could take everything else if we could just all be together, safely.

99victoria · 07/07/2020 21:22

I think I am living a fairly normal life. I see my daughter once a week - sometimes she stays over (she lives alone) and we're looking after our 2 grandchildren one day a week so see them and interact freely with both them and their parents, even though my daughter is going into school to teach.

I've seen several groups of friends in their garden - one friend threw a pizza party last week as they had just completed an outdoor kitchen and so 6 of us gathered in her garden for the afternoon. The previous week I had 3 friends over for fish and chips in the garden on Friday night. Today I drove 30 miles to the place we used to live to meet up with an old work friend and we had a walk and some lunch at a beach cafe sat outside.

My son is supposed to be getting married in France in September so we are in the process of deciding whether to go ahead with that now that all the travel barriers have been removed. I walk or cycle every day with my OH.

Apart from the fact that we were due to fly to Greece for our holiday yesterday and it has had to be cancelled, I feel that my life is pretty good.

Deblou43 · 07/07/2020 21:32

This is the new temporary new abnormal !!! It won't stay like this .. 4 weeks ago I felt the same but I went out Sunday was ok ... this time next year be no SD

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