Why are some people like this?

[Rubyduby26]

So in our area, the playgrounds opened up again yesterday (4th July).

My DS has not been on there in nearly 4 months I have just been telling him it's broken and he's accepted that as he is only 2 years old.

This morning we woke up and I told him the park was finally fixed, we had breakfast and left the house at 7.15am, got to the park at 7.30am. Used hand sanitizer before entering as per our councils guidelines. I packed the hand sanitizer from home and bought it in my bag.

DS was so happy it was lovely to see him playing on the playground after so long. We were the only ones there, just me and DS.

I see a guy walking his 2 dogs and he is on the phone and keeps looking over at us. I know exactly where this is heading.

He gets closer and circles around the perimeter of the playground and I can hear him saying on the phone that me and DS are being ridiculous and that someone is apparently coming to the playground in 5 minutes (for what I don't know?). But it was intimidating, I was alone with DS, why would he even say that?

I can't keep my mouth closed so I shout and ask him if he's talking about me. He says that it's ridiculous and all the equipment needs to be wiped. I tell him the local councillor has posted an update that the park is open for use as of 4th July.

He walks off talking on the phone again about someone being 5 minutes but I just give up and get DS off the swing and head home.

I don't know what the issue was? We were doing nothing wrong, the advice is to social distance, don't use the equipment if it's too busy, use hand sanitizer where possible. The councillor on his update posted that the equipment does not need to be cleaned as it has been closed for over 3 months.

Is this something I am just going to have to accept and get used to from now on?

If my partner was with me, I guarantee he would not have said a word to us and would have carried on his business.

What can I say to people in future who behave like this towards me?

I'm not taking it to heart, we will be back at the park at 7.30am again tomorrow morning!

What a twat. Ignore anyone who starts this type of conversation. Within a couple of days loads of people will be using the equipment so they will get used to it pretty quickly. You were probably just unlucky to be the first person there.

Some people are just arseholes they just make up their own "rules' if they don't know the facts. I'm sorry you had to deal with this.

If my partner was with me, I guarantee he would not have said a word to us and would have carried on his business.

You're quite right. It's become you were a lone woman therefore an easier victim.

What can I say to people in future who behave like this towards me?

"If you continue to intimidate me and my child I will need to call the police. Leave us alone."

Then start dialing.

If the park is open you can use it. Don’t let some nosy, weird bloke intimidate you. ‘the park is open for use, leave me and my young child in peace to enjoy it’.

You can call the non emergency 101 line if you feel more comfortable and they'll assess whether they need to help you.

These men are bullies, taking full advantage of covid, and they need putting back in their box.

I wouldn’t have left to go home. You need to ignore people like him.

If he had addressed me directly then I would have pointed out to him that I was breaking no rules, that the park had reopened and was available for use whether he liked it or not. Beyond that I would have pointedly ignored him although if he had then continued harassing me I would have been tempted to say I would be calling the police.

Sorry you went through that. Hope it didn't spoil the day for you (our first trip to the playground was much anticipated too!)
You did nothing wrong.
I'd wager that the man was a twat before the pandemic but probably had to find other excuses to bully women and children before.

It would be tempting to think up lots of cutting quips and clever comebacks but in reality you don't want to escalate the situation, especially when with young DC.

I think calmly repeating "its within the rules" "we're not breaking any rules" etc should be enough. Asserting yourself without getting drawn into a debate.
Also if he does become intimidating, maybe calmly asking "why are you intimidating a mother and child? We're not breaking any rules..." Might give him pause to reflect without being confrontational yourself.

Or even "why are you staring at my child?" Or be on the phone yourself: "there is a strange man staring at children in the playground...." Would get rid of many a twerp but could also risk escalation.

I would have said you're intimidating me and my child. I find a man without kids who hangs around parks very strange. Either leave or ill ring the police.

Thanks everyone you are all right I should have just ignored him and not asked if he was talking about us. I will be going back tomorrow morning with DS, I just want it to be easy, I know we are sticking to the rules so there's not much more I can do really!