Will you try to get your toddler to social distance in the playground?

[AshGirl]

Just wondering how people are approaching playgrounds re-opening. DS is 3 and has complex SEND so won't understand about keeping away from other children.

Our local playgrounds are re-opening today.

We have managed so far by keeping to places which are mostly quiet and moving on if there are other children around.

Appreciate that older children can be talked to and are better at waiting their turn.

@Angeldust747 - that’s in Scotland & not England .. in England, politicians just seem to ignore children. They’ve never said whether they should SD or not when out & about or seeing family etc but said they don’t expect them to do so in school & they’ve never clarified whether children are included in the 6 people in your garden or whether that’s just adults (or over 12’s perhaps)..

@Looneytune253 - how long do you want children to wait? It’s been 4 months. & risk what? Catching an illness that’s most likely going to fairly mild.

My 3 year old declared very dramatically the other day she never wants to go on a walk again 😂 I don’t blame her. Prior to this, we loved walking. But good god are they boring now. It’s like a chore as it’s the only thing we’ve been allowed to do! Children need to play in parks, play with other kids and be children. The virus barely affects them & our infection levels are pretty low at the moment. It’s also summer so the weather is favourable to being outdoors. Kids need to make the most of all the playing & outdoor activities they can before winter hits & nothing fun indoors is open!

The pub & the park are very different things.. grown adults can understand why they have to sacrifice a pint for a few months. Young children do not understand. And play is vital to their development. Not everyone has gardens. But everyone can buy a beer from the supermarket.

I would try to avoid peak times. I will be doing this as my boys won’t socially distance, I wouldn’t be too worried about them going too close to others as they are at nursery inside with no social distancing in place, but I wouldn’t want to ruin someone else’s experience and stress them out!

@Bol87 but you can play with your child or get closer family/friends children rather than random children. Honestly I've been really laid back thru this whole thing but this just seems like an unnecessary risk. Young children don't really care who is playing with them whether it's parents, siblings or friends. They don't have to miss out socially, parents and friends can step in it doesn't have to be strangers

I'll try to go when the play area is less busy, as we live close by we can easily pop there and just return another time if it is already very full.

I will try to keep my 18 month old toddler apart from the other kids by taking turns, but I won't enforce it rigidly.

We went to the park today and a three year old boy kept coming right up to my son, his dad kept apologising and moving him away, it was so sad! Poor kids, they just want to play.

Thanks all. Really interesting responses.

Totally understand where you are coming from @Looneytune253 but it is not really the interaction that he has been missing, more the play equipment - swings, slides etc that we don't have in our (small) back garden. He was laughing his head off on the swing and having the time of his life

My understanding is that the chances of transmission outside are very low anyway.

The playground was quite quiet and he was only close to one other child for a brief moment. I spoke to the parent and she agreed with what others have said ie that she doesn't expect the little ones to keep their distance, just adults.

Sorry just had an email from nursery saying the government is allowing them go back to normal and assumed it was related to the Scotland guidance - gov website says "from 20 July early years providers can return to their usual practice without limiting group sizes"

"We went to the park today and a three year old boy kept coming right up to my son, his dad kept apologising and moving him away, it was so sad! Poor kids, they just want to play."

Why didn't you tell the dad it was fine the first time he apologised?!

When infection rates were high we kept DS distanced and he's actually very good with It. Infection rates are now low and he needs to play with others. Risk is a balancing act and we might need to keep tweaking what we do for a long time. He's allowed to play with a few little friends we know now, which he's loved, keeping numbers small feels safe enough for the risk. For playgrounds we'll go at quiet times and limit him spending too much time very close (e.g. before he starts hugging the kid next to him, suggest he uses the slide or ask if both want to go on the seesaw). If another kid comes to him then I wouldn't worry about it for the brief interaction, but would distract to move them apart in a similar way.

@MRex

When infection rates were high we kept DS distanced and he's actually very good with It. Infection rates are now low and he needs to play with others. Risk is a balancing act and we might need to keep tweaking what we do for a long time. He's allowed to play with a few little friends we know now, which he's loved, keeping numbers small feels safe enough for the risk. For playgrounds we'll go at quiet times and limit him spending too much time very close (e.g. before he starts hugging the kid next to him, suggest he uses the slide or ask if both want to go on the seesaw). If another kid comes to him then I wouldn't worry about it for the brief interaction, but would distract to move them apart in a similar way.

Yeah that sounds about the right balance. The outdoor play aspect means that interactions are more likely to be quiet brief anyway.

I was going to say to OP, as a mother of a child who's about the same size as yours, please just don't worry. Go when it's quiet, let the kids play, let other parents negotiate what they're comfortable with. Any range of interaction is normal these days, we're all working things out, you don't need the extra stress of trying to manage other people's responses nor forcing yourselves to go without playgrounds.

Mine are school age. I will not impose unnatural rules upon the way they play. DS1 (9) has ASD. He was about 6 before he could genuinely play with other children. He's naturally quite aloof anyway, and I am absolutely not going to encourage any space for unnecessary social anxiety that has a strong chance of being a lifelong problem.

Today he and DS were on a roundabout and a 3rd child was on too and they chatted about Minecraft. It's the first conversation that DS1 has has beyond our hosehold in 2.5 months. He does not do phones/ zoom. It's not practical to meet family. We haven't managed to arrange anything with friends as everyone is too busy/ petrified or just prioritising other people. He's spent 3.5 months at home or on long walks. Any social contact at this stage is important.
I hope he can adjust OK to the shock of school in September. He finds school hard work anyway without 5.5 months of severely constrained interractions.

@MRex

I was going to say to OP, as a mother of a child who's about the same size as yours, please just don't worry. Go when it's quiet, let the kids play, let other parents negotiate what they're comfortable with. Any range of interaction is normal these days, we're all working things out, you don't need the extra stress of trying to manage other people's responses nor forcing yourselves to go without playgrounds.

That's very kind, thank you. He had a lovely time today and the playground was quiet so it was definitely the right thing for us

Only as much as in normal times - don't get in other children's personal space. I'm not going to try to enforce 2m though.

That's great to hear @AshGirl!