Elderly parent

[FelineUK]

Having not seen my widowed elderly, but very healthy, father, who lives alone in the middle of nowhere, since February - we were rather hoping to go and stay with him in August for his birthday. He was pooh-poohing Covid since it all started but now, having heard of some man having CV and being in hospital for 90 odd days, he's suddenly concerned about catching it. So when I mention about going down in August he's like 'Oh well, I'll have to think about it now.. I don't want to catch CV in my situation - you two might have been tested negative, but what if you're carriers?!'

Of course I understand totally understand. It's a five hour drive so can't exactly go and sit in his garden, but if he's concerned about us being carriers, then how's the situation ever going to change for him? When would we see him?! I'm sure he's fine but I can sense he's fed up being so isolated.

I don't understand what he means by testing negative but still being a carrier? Does he mean get a false negative?

Personally I would let him use his own judgement on this, but do what you can to reduce his concerns. For example could you self isolate for two weeks before? Or reduce outside contact? And also look with him at at the stats for the area you are in. Those things might be enough to reassure him.

@Mybrowneyedgal

I don't understand what he means by testing negative but still being a carrier? Does he mean get a false negative?

Personally I would let him use his own judgement on this, but do what you can to reduce his concerns. For example could you self isolate for two weeks before? Or reduce outside contact? And also look with him at at the stats for the area you are in. Those things might be enough to reassure him.

We haven't had CV but we've both been tested, DH regularly as a key worker. He's concerned that even though we haven't had it, we could be carriers.

Unfortunately DH can't isolate for 2 weeks. Yes, it'll have to be his decision.

Are you able to look at the case figures for where you and he live and make a risk assessment based on that?

Mine and DH's parents both live in v low prevalence areas and were getting bored witless. I work in an area that was early in the pandemic but is now v low in cases so we just waited until cases were v v low there and went for it. All parties delighted.

@FelineUK

Hotels are open now. I'd book somewhere and go, you can see each other without putting pressure on him to have you in the house.
Last week I took my son on the train to see mum and step dad. I hadnt seen them since December. They are both late 70s and not in the best of health. We stayed a couple of hours sitting in the garden. It was a great boost for us all.

Is that right, that you can be a carrier but not having the infection anymore? I think you're only infectious if you actively have the virus.

Agree with pp can you book a hotel nearby and just meet in his garden/go for walk?

I think shorter visits more often would be best for now.