I haven’t left my village in 16 weeks - how do I start?

[scaredofgoingout]

As title says, I haven’t left my village since mid March . Been in a shop once, everything else has been delivered . Not seen any friends, or done much at all . I have major anxiety issues/agoraphobia anyway . Mainly severe health anxiety around heart disease ... and the government saying stay at home has fed into it all, I’m now most settled when sitting very still with my curtains drawn, doors locked and endlessly scrolling the internet .

I’m so unhappy and alone and scared though, and starting to feel I have to get back to normality but I’ve no idea where to begin . I have face masks, hand sanitizer etc ... so do I start by slow walks or something? And build up to maybe going to town in a taxi? A relative has offered to take me to a supermarket on Tuesday but what if I get something wrong ?

OP, outdoors is much lower risk than indoor places with other people. Have you been going out for walks?

Start by walking when it's quiet and you're unlikely to bump into people. Say 7am or 8pm.
After doing this a couple of times can you get someone to meet you (socially distanced) for these walks? You could bring a drink each and sit at a bench to chat.

If you go to the supermarket pick a quiet time like 11pm. Less people means less stress if you get something wrong.

With each of these outings, when you return home wash your hands, take a shower and wear new clothes. Old clothes in the washer.

Over time you should adjust the time so you see more people. Peak is about 12-2 here but you know your area well.

The first thing I did was go to a lovely outdoor space with fab views with a flask of coffee, and just sat on a bench and people watched. My partner really really wanted a particular type of chocolate, and his first outdoor activity was to visit a local shop to get it, at the least busy time of day. Start gently!

OP, do you have your own garden? If so, you could invite someone round to sit in the garden with you at a 2 metre distance.

So agree with other posters - lovely replies.

Going for gentle walks, and meeting someone outside is a great way to build up.

If you don't want to go into a supermarket or shop, just leave it a few more weeks. Beginning to interact with people in the safest place possible - outdoors - will really help.

Yes, go for a few walks at quieter times of day - even if it's just in another village to start with.

Then you can move on to maybe going to one shop for one thing, in and out. Remember that if you feel uncomfortable you can just leave.

I was really nervous about going to my nearest big town now that the shops were open but it was fine, still lots of space to move around (midweek) and I felt a lot better for having gone.

I think the first thing you possibly need to do is to start opening your curtains and finding other things to do in the house. I am not sure if town and supermarkets is a bit too much at the moment and may end up being too overwhelming.

Then maybe look at very short walks in the village when it is quiet and then build it up to slightly busier times and a visitor to the garden.

When that seems ok, try the village shop at a quieter time.

Only then be thinking about town and supermarkets.

Good luck. Pop back for support as you do things.

Some supermarkets are more relaxed, and less busy, than others.
I’ve avoided the ones locally that sounded too complicated with different rules.
Our Sainsbury’s has been really nice, lovely staff, no one-way system or anything like that. People generally just being respectful of other customers.

As others have said try going for a walk (you can keep this within your control and step aside from others which is generally accepted). If you're ready for the next step having coffee with someone in a garden (2m+ can easily be done - I met up with friends one evening but one was approx 4m away as she was more comfortable with that) or a walk with a friend. Is there anywhere locally that does food deliveries, ie curry, chinese, fish and chips? That's something you could try as well as a treat. I was really nervous about it, so took control, served it up for all of us and washed my hands - it was lovely.

You're probably not ready for a supermarket shop yet, but I think the smaller the better. A mask protects others more than you, but I think you'll feel more comfortable wearing one when you're ready to move on.

Do you have heart disease, OP?