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Am I being over cautious? In law visit

5 replies

Daveanddell · 03/07/2020 08:38

I’m pregnant and have a 2yo. I’m a key worker and therefore potentially exposed to Covid but my workplace only allow me to work with patients who have had a negative Covid swab.

In laws are coming to visit soon who we haven’t seen since the start of lockdown. They will be travelling from an area that has high Covid rates and they’ve been using public transport and generally not very cautious about social distancing.

I’ve said, and DH is happy-ish to go along, that we will use one room of the house that is easy to clean and that we should socially distance. If DC approaches them then I wouldn’t pull back but they shouldn’t be entering her space or trying to initiate physical contact. I’ve also said we won’t share a car journey with them.

I’m getting stressed about this because I know that there will be comments or eye rolls about this being precious, controlling and ruining their time with DC. Would other people be thinking similar?

To avoid a drip feed - we have a difficult relationship with them and are new at asserting boundaries. I find them intrusive to personal space, so I’m relieved that there’s an opportunity to ask them to keep their distance due to Covid. It would potentially make the visit less stressful and intense, but I guess that’s the wrong reason to ask for social distancing. I think it’s a mix of that reason but also that I don’t think we’re exceptions to the rule, and we should expect social distancing if that’s what other people are doing.

OP posts:
Jrobhatch29 · 03/07/2020 08:49

Intrusive in laws? No way! Grin if it makes you feel better I am seeing mine tomorrow for the first time since february and they are the same... They are coming to meet our 9 week baby so I am anxious too. I think all of your suggestions sound reasonable though. Good luck! I am so looking forward to some excellent parent advise.... Not!

MRex · 03/07/2020 08:50

Do whatever you like. It's your risk assessment based on factors about your life. You don't need to ask for validation from anybody else. Your risk as a key worker is objectively higher than your PIL visiting unless they're from Leicester, but you don't need to be rational.

Daveanddell · 03/07/2020 08:56

Thanks both and congratulations @Jrobhatch29. It’s been so nice not stressing about in law contact for a few months (the silver lining of lockdown).

Yes me being the biggest risk was how DH presented it to them and that they’re in their mid 60s etc. I just know that it will be argued with because they’re willing to take the risk, so good to have other things to explain our decisions with.

OP posts:
LittleMrsMama · 04/07/2020 23:52

You're pregnant with a young child so you're completely in control here and under current guidelines they'd need to distance themselves from you so if they think that by you enforcing that it's you being difficult then they need a reality check. There are far too many people flouting the rules and calling those that are following them 'over cautious' or 'dramatic' but your priority has to be your family.

It sounds like you don't have the best relationship with the in laws though so would suggest working out how you'd act if it was someone else and then being consistent.

Good luck!

yeOldeTrout · 05/07/2020 00:13

can you just arrange to be at work on the day of their visit?

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