Reality of schooling / work

[Orangeblossom78]

During this time I have seen posts from parents trying to homeschool and work, often with quite nasty responses from some posters. thought it might be helpful to see this about the reality of the situation. Fingers crossed this will not go on for long

www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-53224324

It's one of the most balanced, grounded reports I've read.

Fortunately my friend's children are now back in school/ nursery (but aren't out of the woods with the summer holidays looming), but they'd all been in tears with a 6yo unable to work independently and being unused,to an isolated lifestyle a 2yo on the loose and trying to concentrate on major strategic decisions in the NHS while rubbing backs with a spouse also working from home delivering Covid-Safe content.

The children that have had a reprieve with some time in school will struggle again through the holidays with limited provision avaliable.

I hope that reading it might reassure some parents that what they have experienced is normal for many- for those not working too home schooling can be really challenging.

I read this earlier and it was so good to see a clear and balanced view of what life has been like for so many in this situation.

I had to wfh with my two dc. My only saving grace is that my youngest was able to go back to school on 1st June.

This may sound ott but I actually feel a tiny bit traumatised by it. Dh is as out working long hours and I was on my own. The turning point for me was when we had a near miss with youngest while I was on a work call.

I could never, ever, ever do it again. If the schools close again I will have to take unpaid leave or get childcare from grandparents. I cannot and will not do it again.

I was called a bad parent on here that I can't cope with my own kids by some really vicious posters. I also been sneered at by work colleagues and was told by one that parents have it easy nowadays. I've been sneered at for sending my child back to school.

People just don't realise how it is trying to work and look after young dc.

I totally get you, ice cream.

Icecream you’re absolutely right. I’m not doing it now but I had a near miss when I was, when on a call, it is so ridiculously hard and I don’t blame people for wanting to avoid it no matter what.

People simply can't two two complex things at once- unless they have a body double!

I do not understand why on MN people seem to expect the impossible.

A close friend of mine’s toddler had a nasty accident while she was on a work phone call... if required hospitalisation. Working from home with young children just cannot be done.

I was on a call yesterday and I could hear my two in the kitchen and then I heard them drop and smash a glass. I ran out to see what on earth was going on. Fortunately I work with reasonable people and no one was injured.

I would not have coped if they were younger than they are.

We only managed by tag teaming so one of us was on duty (required two fairly helpful employers) and working until 11pm to make up the time. We were close to breaking at the DC were miserable. Thank goodness that they’re back at CM now (I’m officially a key worker but about as vaguely so as can be hence we didn’t use school).

It’s such a good article. I’m thoroughly broken by the experience, two KS1 children, a spouse that works long hours in a hospital and me trying to work from home. I’ve never been pulled so thinly in so many directions

My nursery won’t open until September. I cried when they announced that. It is awful trying to work with 2 under 4s and I’m utterly exhausted.

As a self employed LP this has been my life for some years before school started and before coronavirus. It's punishing. In a way I feel like I have had good pandemic training for this, because I feel less guilty about leaving my son to play computer games a lot of the day - you simply can't do everything. home schooling has been given up pretty much with little bits flecked in between. I feel like the world has been given a flavour of my own life that I have lived for so long. The lack of school for me has not been too bad because my son is a bit older (7) and can entertain himself. But his mental health has suffered a bit at times and I feel guilty for this,. I have done my best to make up for it and spend time together. There is no way anyone can do everything. This is the reality of many single parents every day, pandemic or not, school or not... the pandemic adds another layer to this though and I am so grateful my son is a bit older and not still under 5.

I actually think full time working parents have been amongst the most screwed in all this.

Yes, I am grateful that my job is stable and I am able to continue working? Of course.

Am I concerned about the long term impact on my children, my career, and my salary? Yes. If nothing else I know I won’t exceed expectations this year which will dramatically impact my bonus.

Would it have been better to have the government offer us a few weeks paid leave as per the furlough scheme? Yes.

I am taking unpaid leave over the summer which I can afford and had planned anyway, but even if I hadn’t I would HAVE to this year. We have seven weeks to fill with no school, no holiday clubs, no grandparents able to help. My holiday and unpaid leave still gives three weeks where the children will be left feral and we will be stressed and performing at about 75% capacity at best.

Thanks OP. This is a good article and reflects the experience of me and some of my colleagues and friends.

@SellFridges totally agree. I’ve taken unpaid leave two days a week till Sep as have exactly same issues as you. Grateful my company allowed this but it’ll bite financially for sure

I’d like to know what would happen if a child was seriously injured because they We’re left unattended at home while parents worked.

I’m talking about a three year old roaming the house unsupervised with mum on a zoom call in the study with the door closed.

Would that parent be guilty of neglect?

This was a situation that people were thrown into with no notice and no fault of their own.

My former employer was totally unsympathetic.

Notice I said former.

Now in work nights, so juggle sleep and hassling the teens to work and schooling younger dc. I am tired,but less stressed.

Some posters seem to have the odd attitude of ‘your children, your problem’ as if we factored in a global pandemic which shut childcare and schools and isolated families into our career decisions. I think some also forget that by working we are paying taxes to fund, ooh, the NHS maybe?
Mine are back at nursery two days a week and grandparents having them another two days. I know there is a risk in this, but in the real world and not on mumsnet I know of lots of people doing this. We have demanding jobs with lots of zoom calls and it’s neglectful for us to have the kids at home unsupervised doing that. We can’t afford for one of us to simply ‘give up our jobs’ as suggested by posters here. We earn 50% of the income each and I’m assuming most people unless very privileged can not afford to drop half of their household income and still pay for mortgage, bills and food!
Before anyone yells at me about mixing with grandparents they want to do this and hated us trying to juggle the kids with work. I know other grandparents (in good health and under 70) who feel like this. But not on mumsnet.

It should have bene the case that anyone working without childcare was helped through furlough perhaps. Shame the gov didn't think of that