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Original poster

Positive test in support bubble - advice needed

29 replies

Stealthynamechange · 02/07/2020 06:20

Morning all

Im hoping someone can offer guidance.
My dp is my support bubble - we live in 2 households, both nhs but different trusts. I have ds (3) 4/7 his dad 3/7. Exh is abusive - ive nearly completed freedom programme was cut short pre covid.
Yesterday dp tested positive for covid. He is pretty much asymptomatic, no fever, cough or loss of taste, was only tested as an outbreak on a ward.
I had swab yesterday my results are negative.
Ive been advised to self isolate with ds for 14 days. Im wfh, whilst trying to look after him.
Exh is not happy about this.... (not that he called ds yesterday despite my offer & him being off work )
Exh works 3/7, lives with his dad.
Im wondering if it would be reasonable to allow ds to go to his dads?
Ds last had contact with dp sunday morning (4 days) , i last had contact tues morning (2 days).
Thoughts please?

OP posts:
Original poster
Stealthynamechange · 02/07/2020 06:21

Just to be clear i have ds 4/7. Thanks all, please dont flame me, exh scares me.

OP posts:
TwillfitandTattings · 02/07/2020 06:43

The guidelines are very clear on this subject. You both must self isolate for two weeks despite your swab being clear. The virus can show up until two weeks after initial infection. Your son should not go to his fathers. I’m sorry I don’t have any practical advice, I’m sure others with more experience will be able to help you with that.

MashedSpud · 02/07/2020 06:46

Ask abusive ex if he’d like his father to get covid.

Fairybatman · 02/07/2020 06:47

If exh Dad is OK could you let him know as well as exh? It’s actually him that you are putting most at risk.

Original poster
Stealthynamechange · 02/07/2020 06:47

Thanks, i actually don't think it's that clear. The result email says i can return to work if i feel well, but if someone i live with has it to self isolate for 14 days. I dont live with dp. I plan to self isolate, its more what to do with ds.

OP posts:
Fairybatman · 02/07/2020 06:47

Would be putting most at risk is DS went there I mean.

Original poster
Stealthynamechange · 02/07/2020 06:47

Thanks @MashedSpud i said that yesterday!

OP posts:
Spikeyball · 02/07/2020 06:50

Your ds should not be going elsewhere if he is self isolating. It would be ok in exceptional circumstances such as you were unable to look after him but your circumstances wouldn't be one of them.

MRex · 02/07/2020 06:53

It is best to keep it calm and factual, give him the link to the advice to reduce debate, e.g.
"ExH - DS needs to be in 14-day isolation until end of day Sunday 12th July due to contact with someone who has had a positive covid test. The government requirement is explained at this link: www.gov.uk/government/publications/guidance-for-contacts-of-people-with-possible-or-confirmed-coronavirus-covid-19-infection-who-do-not-live-with-the-person/guidance-for-contacts-of-people-with-possible-or-confirmed-coronavirus-covid-19-infection-who-do-not-live-with-the-person#:~:text=You%20must%20self%2Disolate,not%20have%20any%20symptoms.
As long as neither I nor he develops symptoms in the meantime, you can see him in week of 12th July as normal."

MRex · 02/07/2020 06:56

(Where you state it isn't clear, I think you're looking at old advice, pre-support bubbles.)

Original poster
Stealthynamechange · 02/07/2020 07:00

Thanks @MRex im probably looking in the wrong place - im sure im not the only person in this situation!

OP posts:
Original poster
Stealthynamechange · 02/07/2020 07:03

Just found this on the gov web link from @MRex If you do not have symptoms of coronavirus (COVID-19), other people in your household do not need to self-isolate at home with you- so ds can go?

OP posts:
Beebeet · 02/07/2020 07:07

You work for the NHS and cant figure it out? Oh dear. Do you have concerns about telling his dad that during a pandemic he is having to isolate as he has been in contact with someone who has tested positive? It seems reasonable to be honest, if he doesn't see that then the alternative I suppose is that he self isolates also for 14 days after seeing him, and they dont go outside when he is there.

Mercedes519 · 02/07/2020 07:12

beebeet you get that loads of people work for the NHS who are NOT medically trained. You know like the people who do all the other things that need doing in a large organisation?

OP, all you can do is share the guidance and let ex-h make his own decision. Then it’s on him to manage the risk. You can offer to have DS to self-isolate if he doesn’t want to but ultimately I think it’s his call.

bumblingbovine49 · 02/07/2020 07:18

Op, you obviously need to isolate. Has your DS come into contact with your dp in the last 14 days as well? If so he needs to stay in as well. If he hasn't he can go to his dad.

bumblingbovine49 · 02/07/2020 07:19

I meant to add he can go to his dad unless you also show symptoms or test positive

MRex · 02/07/2020 07:21

That would only work if your DS hadn't seen your DP, but you said that he saw him on Sunday, so he has to isolate.
"Medical advice is clear: contacts of a person who has tested positive for coronavirus (COVID-19) must self-isolate at home because they are at risk of developing symptoms themselves in the next 14 days and could spread the virus to others before the symptoms begin."
Don't try to over-complicate it, just tell your ex he has to isolate and leave it at that.

midnightstar66 · 02/07/2020 07:28

Surely a bubble member is classed as household rather than just someone you've have outside contact with so you treat it as such, and everyone isolate?!

Original poster
Stealthynamechange · 02/07/2020 07:32

Yes my ds saw dp sunday, he was at his dads sunday night to tuesday morning ....

OP posts:
Original poster
Stealthynamechange · 02/07/2020 07:34

I'd be grateful if people could refrain from bashing me on this thread. I geniunuely dont know what to do. No I'm not stupid. Yes i will be self isolating. I think its unclear re ds as he has seen both DP & Ex h already this week, we dont live with dp, i tested negative & have no symptoms.

OP posts:
lombi · 02/07/2020 07:36

The advise is clear and has been the same since the beginning. Use MRex message if that makes it easier. I'm sure the track and trace team will be in touch which will help.

Original poster
Stealthynamechange · 02/07/2020 07:42

Track & trace just send a questionaire says to self isolate, no real help at all tbh.

OP posts:
Bluebellpainting · 02/07/2020 07:48

@Stealthynamechange when your partner joined you as a support bubble you became one household. So his positive test means anyone in his household groups needs to self isolate for 14 days regardless of whether they themselves do test positive. You and your son need to isolate at home for 14 days. The fact your son has been to his dads in between when he last saw your partner and now doesn’t change that. He doesn’t go to your Ex’s now while isolating. Then if your son then gets symptoms- he then gets a test which if positive your ex husband and anyone in his household need to isolate for 14 days. So to answer your question no your son doesn’t go to his dads until his 14days isolation is complete.

Original poster
Stealthynamechange · 02/07/2020 07:57

Thank you @Bluebellpainting that is really helpful

OP posts:
MRex · 02/07/2020 08:09

If your DS were an adult, he might have seen your DP on a Sunday, then gone to work on a Monday instead of to exH. He would still have to self-isolate, not keep going to work because he's already been. The point is to try to isolate over the period you become most infectious, which is just before you get symptoms. Track & trace already told you to isolate.

Which bit is it that you're unsure about?