WWYD? Shielding DH and sending DS back to pre-school

[AshGirl]

Would be really grateful for any thoughts on how best to handle this.

Both DH and DS (3) have been shielding (different reasons) but we have been advised by DS' medical team that he can stop shielding as the risk to children is so low. DH's team have not updated their advice, so he is still shielding.

We have been offered 2 days a week at DS' pre-school (usually attends 5 days). He has complex SEND and has a 1-1 and loves it there.

They have reduced their facilities (including those that DS would typically use every day) in order to minimise infection risk and DS would be in a bubble of 8 kids.

It is term-time only so we are only taking about a few weeks.

DH and I are both WFH and desperate for respite. We are struggling and could really REALLY use a break - same as everyone of course. DS is fine but obviously missing other children - when we are out and about he is desperate to run over to other little ones and join in. He is non-verbal so difficult to talk to him about it.

I am also a bit worried about how long it would take for him to re-settle in September if we don’t send him back.

DH is quite ambivalent and thinks that eg schools are opening too soon anyway. He is generally worried and stressed about the risk to him, but I think he wants me to make the decision so he is not ‘stopping’ DS from going back.

WWYD? Send DS back but wash hands and change clothes when he comes in? Just forget about going back before September and do the best we can in the meantime? I have been trying to find a nanny as a temporary alternative but it is really hard to find someone just for the summer.

I am tempted to just say that he won’t go back, mostly because I don’t want to load more worry on DH.

Any insights welcome!

I wouldn't send him back if someone in the house is shielding. Can you ask DH's medical team for advice?

Current school advice was not to if someone in the house is shielding and they cant distance.
Shielding ends aug 1st?

With the 8 bubble bear in mind if the kids have siblings at other settings.

If secondaries go back in sept and primaries with no SD then that could easily lead to a spike in numbers.

Thanks both. We are trying to get through to DH's team but they are just giving the same blanket advice to everyone on the same treatment (in comparison to DS' team who reviews his notes and talked to immunology to get us a proper risk assessment)

I think I am stuck between wanting to protect DH from a serious but unquantifiable risk and wanting DS to get the support he needs

Would it not be harder for DS to go for a few weeks, then stop over the holiday, then start again? Most young children would find that hard as it is, let alone added SEND. I'm not sure it's worth it?

If your DH is shielding then DS shouldn't be going to pre-school.

However I can imagine how difficult it is has been without any break.

Washing hands and changing clothes won’t make a difference if ds catches it. Best thing to do is send ds back to pre school and your dh stay two metres away from both of you, eat separately, use own bathroom if possible and sleep apart.

Thanks all and sorry to be slow coming back. We wouldn't SD between DH and DS as this would be very upsetting and traumatic for both of them.

We've decided it's best to keep DS off pre-school and see what we can organise for other respite for August.

Thanks for your thoughts!

Do not send him back. We are shielding as a family to protect our little girl.

Both me and my husband get the shielding letters/texts but have been told by our medical teams that we are moderate risk.

We have sent our Yr R child back to school 2 days per week (from start of June) but have kept our 2 year old child back from preschool as she seemed happy enough at home and is very affectionate so I knew she would not distance herself at all from other children.
Really the choice is down to both of you, I think at some point we have to start weighing up the real risks against our quality of life, children’s happiness/education etc. My 5 year old was suffering badly being isolated and off of school. Getting in touch with husbands consultant/nurse would be the best bet if possible x

Thanks @Zem74 - that's really interesting to hear how you have handled it. I think that as there are only a few weeks of term left and DS is happy at home then it is right to keep him off. If it had been a full term / half term then it might have been a different outcome.

He is also a very cuddly toddler like yours and he would never SD at pre-school!