Do anyone else's kids seem to be mostly doing fine?

[LeadMeOutOnTheMoonlitFloor]

I was reading on another thread that a lot of people's children are struggling mentally and that they've decided to let their kids mix with others and forget about social distancing, as they're not really coping with the isolation. Are anybody else's kids seemingly doing fine? I'm worried maybe I'm missing signs in mine that they are having a hard time in lockdown. Obviously they miss their friends and normal activities, but I wouldn't say they seem sad or worried or withdrawn as other posters mentioned. I expect it helps that 2 are close enough in age to play together, that the eldest has ASD, and that they're all happy to socialise online. But am I sticking my head in the sand and ignoring problems? We're following the guidelines strictly because I feel it's too soon to mix closely with other households.

Mine are fine too and OP I relate, I'd also wondered if I was missing signs after reading all the threads here about all young people being really knocked mentally. I'm so sad for those who are struggling but think there are many who aren't and just don't say anything. 19 y o DD can't wait to get back to uni and misses her friends but she's quite happy chatting away to them all day (and seemingly all night). She's got lots of uni work done and has some paid work lined up. DS 16 is quite happy, playing online with his friends a lot of the time, probably being more social than ever. Not done much school work since GCSEs cancelled, just some of his A Level subjects, and earning money online doing coding gigs, also doing online guitar lessons and teaching himself drums. I am relieved they're fine and good to hear so many are though still worry about those who are not :(

Mine started off fine - to the point that I was thinking actively about how we'd just be able to go travelling for 6 months (we wanted to do it before, but didn't because we were concerned about her being lonely). But the last 2 weeks before she went back to school were hard going - maybe it was us too, giving up a bit on learning activities (we never did homeschooling, but put some effort in on making activities useful), and also having our own work start ramping up a bit. Her behaviour went to shit, she got angry more easily and so on.

So it probably did have an affect on her that I didn't see until she went back to school.

PP said this, and it applies to us. Last night she was playing around with words and being really funny, and I realised that I'd forgotten she's quite good at that stuff. She had just been squeaking at us for weeks. She needs the academic stimulation, and social interaction and we just couldn't provide it.

School is much better for her now there are only 10 kids in her class though. We've just moved to this village for her to start school - she didn't know anyone from pre-school or local nurseries, so struggled a bit with friendships - tightening things up a bit has been good for her. She's got 2 little mates now, whereas before she couldn't really name anyone she actually liked playing with.

Mine are little - 3yo and 8mo but both fine. I keep reading how bad it is for them to be kept at home and that they will hate strangers after this but we've had a lovely time together. Both have come on leaps and bounds and at a few recent socially distanced bbqs they've been smiling/waving/chatting to everyone, quite happy to see other people. I can't see any immediate effects, certainly.

Mine has not coped well with it although it is to do with not having established routines and access to self regulating activities rather than not being able to socialise. He is in school but that only makes up partly for it.

To the poster who said it, it's not all about parents wanting attention. A child that is self injuring and needing their meds increased is a child in distress.

I think some parents look for problems and attention, so whereas their kids might be fine, their parents play the "they are struggling and depressed card" to get attention.

Or perhaps you could accept that some children are fine and others aren't!

My youngest has been fine at home. My oldest has really missed her schoolfriends and the camaraderie of school. Children are different and parents tend to know their children the best. It's lovely to hear that some children have been really thriving at home.

I think some parents look for problems and attention, so whereas their kids might be fine, their parents play the "they are struggling and depressed card" to get attention.

Or perhaps you could accept that some children are fine and others aren't!

I do accept that, but I think you can always tell which children arent going to be ok by their parents attitude etc. Some parents love drama.

Anxiety disorders do run in families so I don’t think it’s a surprise that a parent with anxiety may pass that down.

We thought everything was fine then Ds started singing a spontanious song he made up about how awful he was finding it when playing with a keyboard last week. I wasn't that worried and now am! I think it depends on childs personality and family set up. I worry due to work schedules the amount fo attention we have provided.

My DD is fine she's 8 and quite happy being at home with us, she's taken it all in her stride as I'm sure she will do when she returns to school

I think mine are fine.
They aren't in very critical schools years (Y4, Y8). Y8 gets on with her stuff independently, contacts friends via social media a lot and meets up 1:1 now its allowed. Y4 a bit bored but doing a lot of reading, trampoline, Lego and 'meets' his mates on X box.
We're all enjoying lie ins, lunch together, baking, movies, board games, walks, talking as a family.
When asked if they miss school/ want to go back they are fairly neutral.
Me and DH are a bit stressed about fitting our work in but the kids are fine in themselves.

Yes but she is only 3 and I'm a SAHM so she is used to spending quite a lot of time at home and hasnt lost the routine of nursery etc. We have been seeing some other children, social distancing originally but in the last few weeks we havent enforced that.

Mine are happy, ages 13 and 16. Not missing school or friends. They both have two or three friends they chat to on zoom or face time every day. We have a big garden which has helped for sure and they get along. Both have zoom lessons 8.30 - lunchtime every day and homework so they are up and have a structure. Don’t think there is anything they are missing. If they were a toddler and a 4 year old and we lived in a flat no garden I think it would be a whole other story.

Thanks everyone who has shared their experiences. I do agree that it's a privilege to be in a situation where lockdown is bearable or even pleasant. I really feel for posters who have mentioned having to WFH full time, being in a flat, whose DC have mental health difficulties, or who are just naturally extroverted and have ended up feeling flat all the time. We're very lucky that's not the case for us personally. Although we do have some anxiety and mental health issues in the family, lockdown has partly eased them, as being at home is less stressful in some ways.

I also understand what another poster has sad about thinking their kids were fine until they saw the difference after seeing friends. I think that would possibly be the case for mine. They'd rather be out and about doing their normal stuff (my youngest especially) and would probably be happier doing so, but for now they're OK and I don't think it's going to have done any permanent harm.

Somebody commented that it might be the parents wanting attention... I don't think that's true, I think some children are genuinely struggling due to no fault of their parents. But some posts I see on here do tend to the dramatic, saying children have been thrown under the bus and their mental health sacrificed to protect the vulnerable. A lot of people have used their children's well-being as a reason to break lockdown guidelines and I wonder if it is justified in all cases.

Obviously I can't judge til I have walked a mile in their shoes, so no criticism of anyone else's choices from me. But it's good to know that not all children are suffering as some people are stating.