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Feel like giving up at times

5 replies

Adaira · 18/06/2020 13:55

I know people have it much worse than me, but honestly at the moment I just feel like giving up on life altogether. Everything I had planned hasn't happened and there doesn't seem to be any light at the end of the tunnel.

I was meant to get married in March and this has been postponed until October but I'm highly doubtful that will go ahead. It felt like it was never going to be my turn to get married and I had to watch couples who had been together less than time us (we've been together 6 1/2 years) get married and move on with their life. I'm 33 in a few weeks and had always hoped by now we would have kids. But lockdown has pushed everything back. I just as well can't help feel resentful at my partner and blame him for the situation we are in as if we had got married when I wanted to a few years ago we wouldn't be sitting waiting to get married now. I know this is totally unreasonable and it always seems to be happen on my period, my hormones just make me feel so low.

We're in a one bedroom house to which we bought 5 years ago with help to buy as it was what we could afford and it was the height of the market. Of course prices have crashed where we are and the value of our house has dropped so much that we would owe the Scottish Government 20,000 to move. I have no idea how we will ever move and if we do have a baby, paying for childcare would make it impossible to save to move.

I just feel so desperate at the moment. My anxiety is out of control and I'm starting sessions with my counsellor tomorrow over video call which I will hope will help.

OP posts:
Smileyoriley · 18/06/2020 14:59

@Adaira I had a day like this yesterday which snowballed from a series of other awful stuff going on in my life- financial and family health. I contacted the Samaritans for the first time ever and just putting it all out there helped. 33 is no age, I had a baby at 41 and fell pregnant again at 47. There will be ways around the housing, a baby doesn't take up much room anyway, you would cope even if the very worst happened. Talk it all through tomorrow. This crisis is international, lots of people will be in dreadful circumstances now but it will all be OK for most in the end 💐

Adaira · 18/06/2020 16:17

Thank you. I just seem to get periods of rage at not being pregnant and married and feeling all my plans were but on hold at rve expense of others. Then at times I feel I don't even want a baby because I'll have to give up so much of my freedom, travelling and weekends away. I feel I just want a holiday from my brain!

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SouthsideOwl · 18/06/2020 16:22

I was supposed to get married next week so I know exactly how you're feeling. Ours is now later on next year and at first I felt this was now a 'wasted' year...but then I realised it's a year to fill with extra cool stuff.

Can you make a wishlist for what you want to do after CV has hit the floor?

It's totally normal to be stressed and grieving but at the end of the day it's a mind over matter issue.

Adaira · 18/06/2020 21:16

You're right it is a grieving process. I'm hoping my counselling session tomorrow will help with some of it and the underlying issues. I'm sorry you're wedding was postponed too. The list sounds like a good idea!

OP posts:
SouthsideOwl · 19/06/2020 17:54

You got this, it will get better xx

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