How are you supposed to shop when you are treated awfully?

[Mummypig2020]

I popped to jojo this morning as Dd needing some shoes. She’s 3 and Dh works during the day so I took her with me.

We were barked at as soon as we walked in (no one else was in the store). Don’t let go of dds hand, no touching anything. I don’t mind these things but to be made to feel utter shit about it. It was horrible and I really had to bite my lip from not crying (hormonal!).
I just felt so sad for Dd, she normally loves that shop :(

I said jokingly “wish we could just go back to normal” to be shouted that it won’t ever go back and if I touch something it will not keep other people safe 😑😑

I took my daughter shopping yesterday (large city) it was fab. Well organised, no one barking at us and best of all it was all empty.

Never had a shopping experience like it, consequently spent FAR much more than I intended too, but gathered we wouldn’t get a chance to shop like that again.

"I asked if in the future me and Dh could both go into the shop because he’s the one who pays and he likes to choose things too and was told no, only one adult and one child or two adults."

We've gone from teacher bashing to retail staff bashing......

To be honest I take the staff “shouting” and “barking” claims with a grain of salt. From my first hand experience with customers in retail, some exaggerate when they might be slightly in the wrong and dislike being called out.

For example back when I worked in retail, I didn’t give student discount to some teens as they showed me a blurry photo of someone’s ID on their phone. As this was against policy, I said “we can’t accept that, can we?” to my colleague then just told the girls “‘no, sorry” and asked if they had student ID on them. Minutes later some red & angry middle aged man approached the till, whilst we were serving other customers and had a till queue, loudly shouting that I was “disgusting” for what I “did to his daughters”. He caused a massive scene to the point security stepped in, they completely exaggerated what I said to the girls. Yes, I declined their request but I wasn’t rude; I certainly didn’t tell them off or “bark”🤷🏻‍♀️

Yabvu

"To be honest I take the staff “shouting” and “barking” claims with a grain of salt."

Yes, some pp seem hyper-sensitive and v fragile.

Staff probably just speaking clearly and loudly for those hard of hearing (like me)

After you've repeated the same message 50 times every day, it must be difficult to make it sound friendly

I agree with the posters saying about taking it with a pinch of salt about staff shouting. As someone who works in retail I've seen what some customers think is rude. When staff tell you 3 times that queing system over there and you don't listen and start putting stuff on the checkout, by the 3rd time yes her voice may have been raised a bit.

It's new to us all, so sometimes staff are just trying to make it clear that the customers understand how it works. It's not easy for the staff at times as well as the customers. However I am understanding when someone has a child in the shop but thankfully they haven't been a problem at all.

Sorry if you feel you treated badly in a shop but please remember the staff in non essential shops have only just gone back to work and are probably trying to adjust to major changes in their work environment.
My dd, a university student, has a part time job in retail and has suffered abuse from customers on a daily basis. Customers in her face, touching her to get attention etc.
I think it’s quite understandable for retail staff to be a bit on edge at the moment, staff shortages, stock levels very low, irate customers and on top of that an unpleasant virus that might cause you and your family harm.
I think best not to take it personally when shopping at the moment and realise that a thankless job has just got a lot harder for retail staff.

I work in a shop and there are plenty of parents who think nothing of letting their children loose in the shop, who then proceed to maul random products...

It's very early days of shops opening. I think they were probably scared.

I’m sorry you were barked at. We have just been to our local town and most shops were lovely really chatty staff no queues. However they had security type people around the shopping centre who frightened my DD by barking at a couple who had strayed off the allotted path by about a mm.
she kept looking for him and checking were were doing everything right the whole way round which kind of ruined it. I understand it’s important but it did kind of go a bit Gilead after that.

And yes tone of voice is a real thing and I think an adult can tell if the tone is unpleasant not just scared or bored at repeating a message. We had a loud bloke in HMV reminding us to stay together but he was loud in a positive tone.

Clarks online outlet is good x

I’m lucky that I managed to get a job in my field as soon as I graduated so my time in retail was brief - retail during lockdown must be awful.

I used to hate customers touching me to get my attention too, don’t do that. Just say something or walk around them, grabbing staff shouldn’t be your first resort.

I think some people are a bit too comfortable in shops and are now annoyed that retailers just want you to shop and go in the midst of a pandemic.

Parents can be incredibly lax in shops with their children. As my shop was next to a cafe, parents would actually sit in the cafe and leave their v young children unattended in my shop as a crèche to entertain themselves. Or those parents that don’t watch their children in fitting rooms and let them run under the curtain of other customer’s rooms. Or let them put unpaid merchandise in their mouth. Or let them mess around with store displays/mannequins and knock things over. We even had a woman change her baby’s nappy in our fitting rooms and leave the evidence behind - the entire floor stunk to high heaven and we had to close the fitting rooms for the rest of the day.

You were told not to let go of your daughter's hand, and not touch anything.

Can you explain why you think this is awful treatment? They'd have to sanitise everything your dd touched, of course they don't want her tootling round the shop on her own doing whatever she pleased.
I doubt you were barked at either. Unless your dd ran ahead of you and you actually had to be told to take her hand?

@Thisismytimetoshine

You were told not to let go of your daughter's hand, and not touch anything. Can you explain why you think this is awful treatment? They'd have to sanitise everything your dd touched, of course they don't want her tootling round the shop on her own doing whatever she pleased. I doubt you were barked at either. Unless your dd ran ahead of you and you actually had to be told to take her hand?

Do supermarket staff go around after every customer sanitising everything they’ve touched but not bought? Where did this rule come from?

First step is to acquire a thick skin, if they are out of stock, stick to online shopping.

Some shops are handling customer service better than others. For some stores, they are choosing overbearing, bossy, power tripping types to keep customers "in order". This will probably backfire on them eventually. In a few weeks they might look around and discover they have zero customers.

Do supermarket staff go around after every customer sanitising everything they’ve touched but not bought? Where did this rule come from?

Not relevant. The store was telling OP how they we're conducting business, not how thy e supermarket does it.

Just because Tesco let you touch their goods doesn't mean everyone else needs to do the same.

And yes tone of voice is a real thing and I think an adult can tell if the tone is unpleasant not just scared or bored at repeating a message

Some adults can. Others are precious snowflakes. From the detail OP has given I know which category I put her in.

DD works in a retail store. They have to have someone in the door telling you the 'rules' before you enter. It's tiresome and draining. Why did you feel shit about it and nearly cry? They have to tell everyone entering the store what is expected of them

Is this only for "non-essential" shops? Because I've had nobody barking instructions at me to get into the supermarkets or Superdrug. Or policing what I buy or asking me what I want like Boots.

Absolutely tone of voice changes things. Complete strangers rarely bark at other people, though. Particularly not at paying customers.

Parents can be incredibly lax in shops with their children

I don't disagree but if you want shoes for your child, and the shop sells shoes for children, they need to serve you without harrumping!

Many non essential shops are. @Redolent If you pick up a book in Waterstones but don't buy it, you have to put it on a trolley where it will go into quarantine for something like a day.

Similar with clothes/shoe shops.

Supermarkets do ask you not to pick things up and put them back again where possible. I assume that is why many people wash their supermarket shop when they get home.

@Mummypig2020

Honestly they were really rude. I don’t mind being told the rules going into the shop but it was horrible.

I asked if in the future me and Dh could both go into the shop because he’s the one who pays and he likes to choose things too and was told no, only one adult and one child or two adults.

Honestly, if this is the way they treat clients, forget them! Retail is a tough market to be in at the best of times and they won't be around if they behave like this.

Shopping online just got the biggest shot in the arm it has ever had. Just think about all the rude people like this woman, and how they will put off paying customers and then will sit there wondering why their employer has gone bust.

If I were your OH and heard you were treated like this, I'd not be taking my card for a walk anywhere near them in the future.

Go and get your DD some shoes elsewhere. Even if you go and get her measured and then buy online.

To be honest I take the staff “shouting” and “barking” claims with a grain of salt

Ok I'l rephrase - I haven't had anyone politely give me instructions when walking into a supermarket or Superdrug. At most they've asked if I would like them to sanitise my basket and in the case of Superdrug did I want the pharmacy and that was it. I just walk in and get on with my shop.