Are you now considering private school?

[Effup]

That's it really - if you can afford it - and we can with some cuts. Are you considering private school?

Benefits - earlier access to sport?! The whole everything under one roof (I hope)! Music provision but we have lessons for her privately - to be honest I think we're doing an amazing job with extra curricular etc - I would like to offer her more but limited on time re after school activities too.

I feel slightly rail roaded into it all if that's the right thing to say. Also we start now then that's a hell of a lot of education to pay for privately when we'll have to put in younger DC too at some point. I'm not overly concerned financially we both have very good jobs (hoping we will see through the economic impact of covid).

I think it's peer pressure more than anything being married into a Privately educated family.

Effup - in all honesty, I think it’s silly to consider private school if you quite like your state school. It smacks of listening to other people spinning you a yarn about their child’s private education and you not trusting your own instincts. I wouldn’t consider private school for my children because I think their state school suits their needs very well. It’s a fantastic school community in my community. I would consider private school if I was desperate, but I’m not. It doesn’t sound like you are, either.

It depends on the schools where you are.

Where we live now the local primaries are excellent and we have great Grammars and non Grammars for secondary schools.

The local indie girl's secondary was not so good and closed some time ago and the boy's equivalent has gone non fee paying.

So here, choosing indie over state schools would have been madness.

Where we lived previously (and where DH would have liked to return) we would have needed to go private. A long history of poor state provision has led to some really good independent schools so the bulk of DC's peers would have gone private. As would we.

@Walkaround yes others insecurities therefore sending their kids private - literally we are the only ones in our family (both sides) who don't educate privately but we live in an amazing area schools are brilliant.

I often ask myself those that do move their kids why do they do it - arghh I've created a right mess here by contacting the school now and getting DH hopes up.

@Effup

Sounds like an expensive way to keep the peace! Have you raised your concerns?

Around here sports clubs have very active junior sections and take children from primary school age, so those opportunities ought to be available to her without going private.

@Effup
I think you both need to have a good chat about it - it's such a huge investment you need to consider carefully what the actual benefits are. What would she get that she couldn't get elsewhere? And try to discount what the extended family might think. You decide what's best for your family. It's really none of their business.

Will be doing that this morning @DingoDing I name changed for this so you know from my name what my initial thoughts were on my actions! Major effup!

DH was on cloud nine when I agreed - just a mess of my own making. Everyone except me is delighted!

Yes sports round here have the junior sections too - it's mainly our jobs are both stressful and often require long hours I'm part time and do all the running around then try to fit my job in - and their lives and I'm just hoping for a bit of an easier life?!

Effup - my dh was privately educated, as were his parents. He had some concerns initially about whether his children would be OK in a large comprehensive, but rapidly overcame those, as none of his fears about bullying, or standards, or happiness, or opportunities came to pass.

Ps he had no problems with their state primary, either.

As someone who has both dds in prep honestly if you don’t need to do it, I genuinely wouldn’t bother. It’s a huge waste of money!

Yep given the discrepancy between what the state schools are able to offer and the private. However I am in principle against private schools so not sure we will jump in the end. i think I will use the money I save to get tutors or additional classes in subjects of interest (e.g. IT) as and when required

I would be wary of making a big decision at this time when everything’s so chaotic. Let things settle before making any life changing decisions?

The pandemic will be short term (1y-18m), in comparison to the total years your child will spend at school. If you were thinking of moving to private anyway, then maybe it’s the right time etc. But we may see changes to the way state schools do things in Sept (and maybe back to an new improved normal), and wish you hadn’t made a knee jerk decision. Given that we’re 13 weeks into this, and there are still 11 weeks to September, things will probably be different again.

@pigoons my DH is a private tutor. I would say around 30% of the kids already attend private school. The teacher isn’t good, so the parents pay (again!) for a private tutor. Which I find incredible.

People are voting with their feet in the opposite direction - I expect class sizes to be small in the first years of prep this year, because people don’t want to commit to pay at such a time of economic uncertainty

Honestly - there are lots of good reasons to choose private education but I don't think that 'other people in our families have chosen it' is a good one. She has lovely friends and you think the schools are excellent. I wouldn't be spending thousands to jeopardise a situation you are all happy with. (At the moment at least.)

There seems to be a big discrepancy between what state schools are offering too.

I had a nosy on what DSs future primary are offering (he's due to start reception in September) and there's a full days lessons set up each day for reception, plus links to various websites/games as extras.

If you’re really happy with your state school and she’s happy there then just leave her there.

I’m moving mine to private but that is because his state school is rubbish. If he had a good state school or if I lived in an area with good state secondaries I would have been happy to keep him in state school. You have to judge based on your personal circumstances.

Also, it sounds to me that one of your reservations about private school is about feeing uncomfortable there yourself. Do you worry you won’t fit in for some reason? I think that feeling is normal and I’m feeling similarly apprehensive about my eldest moving to private but actually I think it will be fine - we’ve chosen the cheapest one - so I figure there will be other parents like us and we won’t stick out like a sore thumb!

We're in a grammar area so for DS yr5 we've basically ditched the p* poor pile of weekly downloadable worksheets from school and are focussing on 11+ prep - he's bright so might just get in. DS2 yr4 has dyslexia/ SEN issues and I've managed to get him a place back in school from Monday. I did however spend the morning looking at local prep schools because he thrives in small groups and we could afford it but then for him I'd feel we'd have to do private secondary too. It would effectively be all my take home pay. OH would just have to suck it up and adjustments would happen to holidays and hobbies etc