Daughters classmate asking her to play out

[lizajayne]

Last night I was putting the kids to bed about 8 and my husband answered a knock on the door, it was a classmate of dd2 (7) asking if she could come out to play, obv he said no it's too late, but she asked if she could play today, he said don't know. My kids haven't played with other kids since school shut, except at school in the last week or two - I'm a key worker and husband no longer on furlough so they had to go back. I don't think they should be playing out with other kids, I know she's only one kid but they've played out before this happen and this girl doesn't listen is we told he they could play outside but not come in house but she came in anyway and when I said something she just started at me! She's a 'naughty girl's at school according to dd! Plus her mum is kinda scary, I do feel sorry for the kid having no one to play with but how do I say no if she comes round today?! Sorry for long winded post 😁

Are they at school together now?

No, they're year 2 and her parents don't work. Also forgot to say school sent a letter home saying it they heard kids at school were playing with other kids they would not let those kids come back to school!

Many schools are trying to maintain social distancing within the class bubbles and are asking parents to observe that outside school too

In that case, I would say no!

My DS has been playing with two of his school friends a lot in the park. He’s currently at school with one, but not the other (DS also in the key worker group). But the other is very lonely and I think he needs it as he doesn’t see anyone else.

But you’re very justified to say no!

If your DD isnt interacting with the girl in school I would say no. I would keep to what the school asks about social bubbles.

Thanks for the repiles, I'm glad ppl agree with me, although I'm not sure what to say to the girl to explain why they can't play out without upsetting her

Can’t you just say school have asked you not to let children play together.

Hell no! Mine are in school and with the exception of a socially distanced picnic for the eldest - in sight of us - none of ours are mixing with others because they have to be in school when dh and I are working. I don't want to put anyone at risk by casually mixing with all and sundry even if others do.

But... I would also be concerned about a 7 year old calling on a friend to play at 8pm. I know everyone has different standards and technically the kids aren't at school, but I still think that's late and depending on the child/family, it's something I'd mention in passing to the school.

My DC are older but the younger kids around me are playing in the street ,maintaining SD
Lovely to see them playing outside

She’s 7. You don’t need to explain. Just say that your daughter can’t play out. If her parents ask, then explain about what the school have said and that you can’t risk losing your child’s place at school.

I agree with mentioning it to school, because 8pm is late to be calling. As an aside, do you think there is a chance that she has some problems with her understanding? That's what I thought when you said she came in anyway and stared at you when you were talking. Plus kids with speech and language difficulties can often appear as 'naughty'.

May be off the mark, can you tell that I'm a speech and language therapist?! Good luck with it all, it's tricky but the health of your daughter is paramount.

Ye I agree with PPs. She is a kid. You are a parent. All she needs to be told is 'I'm sorry but isnt allowed/cannot come out to play today'.

Agree it’s late but I do think kids should be allowed to see their friends outside and play. Have you seen the scenes at primark??

"I'm not sure what to say to the girl to explain why they can't play out without upsetting her"
Just tell herin a kind manner 'I'm sorry you can't play together because the Govt's and the school's rules don't allow it because of the pandemic. It might be a long time but, when the rules change, we'll let you know when it is safe to play out together'.

You cannot control whether the child gets upset and, even if they do, that is for her parents to handle.

Not sure I'd mention it to the school - speak to the parents first maybe?! I find the pressure is mounting from other parents to meet up for playdates and picnics! I'm finding it hard to say 'no', but I'm not really keen on just mixing with everybody, whilst my kids aren't allowed to go to school! How do others turn down these socialising requests?

" I do think kids should be allowed to see their friends outside and play. Have you seen the scenes at primark??"
It is that kind of attitude that spreads the virus.

mine haven't been interacting with our kids since the start of lockdown, i wouldn't let them anyway not at such young age and also if it meant they couldn't go back to school.

other kids*

On the basis of what your school have said then I'd say it's a flat no. If school hadn't said that then i'd probably weigh up how much they both needed social interaction and a bit of a "risk assessment" of how the rest of her family might have been behaving and following lockdown rules (or not).

My yr7 grandson hasn't seen a single schoolfriend since lockdown. He chats to them on headset on ps4 and some of the boys are in each other's houses. He accepts that rules are rules - what sort of message would we be giving in life if we said only obey the ones that suit you? This little girl shouldn't have come to your door, crappy parenting tbh.

It’s not against the rules for kids to meet you know? Keep up!

No, it's not against rules for them to meet up, but we are still supposed to be socially distancing right now. How do you ensure an unsupervised 8 year old is socially distancing?

Amazes me that no one is stunned that a school, in 2020, can refuse to admit a child because, wait for it, they were playing OUTSIDE with another child. What a dystopian, out of proportion nightmare this all is.

Play out where? If they are at school together I suppose they could go in your back garden. Seven is a bit young to be going to the park on their own and 8pm was too late for her to be knocking.

Play together at someone’s house or in the garden. Seriously do you have Any idea how bad this is for kids mental health? For a virus that affects a tiny minority or people!