My Mum is a 'young', active, pretty fit 77. She has worked in a supermarket for around 10 years now and loves it; she still works full-time and has no intention of retiring, and is I suppose a bit of a workaholic. She also loves the social aspect, and has made lots of friends there (staff and customers).
Her and my Dad have been following the rules for over 70’s to the letter since the start; only going out for a daily walk. I have been doing their shopping and delivering it to their garden etc. I know that being at home has been hard on her as she’s been very bored, and doesn’t like being stuck at home.
She has now announced that she is returning to work in a couple of weeks. My initial reaction is to be absolutely terrified for her safety, upset and actually furious, but I just can’t work out if I’m over-reacting.
My parents certainly don’t need the money. She would have the option of being furloughed for a few more weeks which I (and a couple of my siblings have agreed) would be a really sensible way to go, just to see what happens virus-wise over the next few weeks. I’m so torn – I know that her mental health is starting to suffer, and her argument is that she’s going stir crazy at home, but so are a lot of people, including me (although I am working full time), and so I want her to be happy, but I also don’t want her to catch the virus, with a much higher chance of it being serious because of her age. The store she works in isn’t very well run and frankly I don’t trust the management to do enough to keep her safe. I’ve shopped there and it didn’t even feel particularly safe for me as a shopper.
Since restrictions have eased, we’ve had my parents over in the garden (socially distanced) for a meal, we’ve been to theirs, other family have visited, we’re having a socially distanced garden event for Father’s Day and my Dad’s upcoming birthday, so it isn’t as if she’s not seeing anyone or having social interaction. Aside from being scared for her health, I also feel she’s being selfish for various reasons – surely working in a supermarket daily brings a risk home to my Dad who is a similar age, and also if restrictions were eased further, I’m not sure how many of us (the family) would want to get too close to Mum as surely we’ll all be put at greater risk? If she were to catch the virus and be seriously ill, it would be heart-breaking if it was for the sake of waiting a few more weeks at home. I checked this morning and the official guidance is still that over 70’s, even if fit and well should ‘minimise contact with others outside their household’. Serving hundreds of people in a shop every day doesn’t seem to fit this advice!
I’m feeling so anxious about the situation and can’t stop thinking about it, and can’t decide whether to be honest/open with her and try to dissuade her with the above arguments, or just accept that she is an adult and can make her own decisions and live with my own fears/worries for the foreseeable future? (she knows I’m not happy, but we haven’t had a full discussion about it). Any advice would be greatly appreciated.