Is anyone else hating their NHS life?

[hayfeverhellish]

NHS during covid was awful, obviously. But I think we were running on adrenaline but the ‘recovery phase’ is something else.

I’m in therapies so we are never thought about - it’s all cancer screening, operations and bed days that matter. But we are the people that get patients back on their feet, eating, talking and looking after themselves.

Currently, half of us have been forced to work at home with ‘virtual appointments’ (which doesn’t work for a lot of the patients and the tech is crap) and basically forgotten about in the new struggle for rooms / staff / PPE to restart services.

Everyone is tired, arguing over rooms and services, loads of people on long term sick with stress, unpaid leave due to lack of space in schools, and now we have to wear masks ALL. THE. TIME.

I could cry at the thought of Monday. The job I loved seems to have left the building and the patients are suffering

Just me?

Weepinggreenwillow
Don't know what to say, but you have my sympathy.
Hope you can manage to leave the patient's anger in the room, and not take any remnants home with you.

Another 13 hour shift done feeling like I am being choked. Had to out full PPE to see a very unwell patient for 10 minutes and came out drenching in sweat. Drank maybe 400ml all shift and ended up with a banging headache.
What changed from Sunday night to Monday morning to warrant now needing masks? Nothing.
My mojo is gone and I am worried for my mental health which has already taken a battering with this. Im worried im going to snap at the next person who tells me I'm not complying with whatever rule is new that day.

endotherm Hope you can get some rest at home.
My mental health is really starting to struggle too. All the crap at work is of course also being combined with worrying about my own teenagers and trying to support them with school work and boost their mental health too. It all feels just a bit too much

The masks are tricky.

I'm drained this week. Fed up of doing four people's jobs, they are sending all the redeployed staff back and I'll be left with no one and they'll want clinics open ASAP. I've worked on my own for 12 weeks. Bit that got me today was someone took my milk, the milk I'd bought so I didn't get a cup of tea all day. Minor I know but it really upset me

Taking your milk is evil. I think we have all had enough now!

Sent some feedback about how we felt the situation could have been managed better. Management responded by getting defensive and trying to create distrust in our own team (a v small team of close friends).

It’s a shit show.

Almost half of the hospital staff where I work have tested positive so far for covid 19 antibodies. Including me. Which reflects very badly on the poor PPE at the beginning when it was raging around, plus most of us were travelling in on packed public transport). We’ve had 0.19% mortality among staff probably reflecting low age (lowered %) and high BAME (raised %).

I had a little cry on the way in today. Not done that for years

I'm so glad to have had days off since monday, so not been in yet with the blue mask / white mask / constant mask rigmarole. Back in tomorrow.

I am broken.
Totally physically, mentally and emotionally broken.
Traumatised by what I have seen in the last few months. Angry. Not quite sure why.
And so, so tired.
We now have so many bereaved families to support. I have nothing left to give.
I want my normal job back. I want the fear to leave. I don’t want to have to write any more contingency plans.

I want my kids back in school because I have failed them so badly.
I don’t want to be bitched at or criticised because I want to go to the front of a queue occasionally.

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever believe that my beloved career would do this to me

I don’t know if this will mean anything to any of you but I am so grateful for the (non-covid) NHS care I’ve had during this period.

Thank you for all you do.

Dominicgoings exactly that, failed my teenagers, managing to many peoples jobs, I understand that you feel broken your not alone xx

Thank you Chenin
I am pissed off at myself for being so low but I know there are a load of us in the same boat. Hopefully we will move to the ‘recovery’ phase soon!
Lifted a bit today as a friends husband has finally been moved out of ICU after 3 weeks

'Twas shit before - now it's shit with a mask on. Outing, but when I took my job it was on a 12 bedded specialist ward. We extended (without extra staff or facilities) for 'winter pressures' 3 years ago to 29 patients and have stayed that way ever since. Now they are looking for a way to transform the secretaries office into patients beds (day room already gone) to increase our base by a further third. Still no more staff or equipment or facilities 😡. 15 men expected to use 1 toilet and sink for all their hygiene needs, no tv / distraction on the ward.

I hated all the 'hero' shit. I'd rather have enough staff, supplies and pay to do a proper job than 10% off at Morrison's and a free curry.

I feel nothing. Burnt out and numb, which terrifies me as a numb nurse can't care for her patients properly.

I have never been anything else and am trapped by mortgage / commitments so have no idea how to escape. I'm so sad what I'm feeling is the norm rather than an exception. The NHS has gone and my sanity has gone with it.

@lankylemon yes it does make a difference, after all patients are the reason we keep going

I’m spotty and my lungs hurt at times, not sure if it’s something in the masks and my asthma.

Had a bit of a better week, felt a bit more positive until 4pm on a Friday when the bullying manager starts sending emails.
My heart is racing and I could cry

@Dominicgoings excellent news about your friends husband.

I have worked in the NHS for 20 years and not had a day off sick in 10 years but today I really felt like I wanted to walk out and never go back because same as you we now have to wear masks all the time even when in a social distanced office - is this not 13 weeks too late??
I had 2 two hour patient home visits today in full PPE and I don't want to go back to the office and put another mask on.

I am dreading the heat next week.

Good to have that off my chest!

Is thereanythingwe (jo public) can do?

Not vote Conservative. Lobby MPs for fair pay. Thank you

nursingnotes.co.uk/news/education/paid-placements-student-nurses-significantly-earlier-expected/

Disappointed but not surprised. I feel particularly gutted and concerned for the students who gave up other employment to take on these contracts.

actionnetwork.org/forms/student-nurses/

I’ve been reading these and really feel for you all.

I just wanted to add, that my daughter had an emergency operation at the start of lockdown and was an inpatient and is having twice weekly physio and follow ups as an out patient. And I want to say a massive thank you to all NHS staff. Unfailingly everyone we have met has been kind, and thoughtful and tried to hard to help us in very difficult circumstances. I find it unbelievable that patients are being difficult and certainly I would be happy to jump through whatever hoops were asked for us, so we can access the wonderful care we have had. We have been free distributing Fererro Rochers to the wards and outpatient areas.

Keep up the good work everyone. I work in HR for the NHS (different trust) and believe me , our HR department is under no illusion of how hard you are all working and how exhausted everyone is.

I have sat and read all these over yesterday and today. This is a shit show. No way should this be going on and yes, its all way too late anyway given cases are really low right now and you were all expected to just manage (in some cases with no PPE, my sister was reusing hers at the peak) and now they do this which just makes everything harder. Only drink on break is unrealistic and possibly illegal in some way? Hell schools aren't allowed these days to say kids can't drink and go to the loo when they need it (nor should they be able to, to be honest)

Its shit.

My sister was working on the covid ward. The hospital she was at was actually quite quiet she said. However, at least half of the staff, despite 'PPE' (she was reusing hers, usually twice but sometimes more..) have now tested positive for antibodies. Which says, the 'PPE' situation was quite shit really. But now they are expected to wear it all the time, even those with asthma (when it seems widely acknowledged that people with asthma shouldn't wear them?!), cannot go in their own staff rooms most of the time (her staff room has been designated something else..can't remember what she said)..I cannot blame staff for finding any way they can to get out of it. Be that going off on the sick, retiring early, anything. My sister is considering getting the sick note her doctor offered her weeks back now that its 'over' yet staff treatment is getting worse.

My mother, retired for 2 years before this..has been back at work after being begged to go back to help wiith the peak. Now seems back to being treat like shit (though she was not impressed with basically being left to deal with a dangerous situation without addequate protection either) and expected to do stuff that makes her job worse and much harder just to make the government look good..the government giving out all these rules when they have NO IDEA what works in a clinical environment, nor do they care as long as they can claim they are 'looking after' NHS staff . She said she was willing to come back for a year or so til everything was 'normal' or so again. She now says this week is the last, and theres nothing they can really do to make her stay apparently. So another gone who was orignally willing to stay for a while despite the danger she was putting herself in. Because of the stupid situation right now. The government forcing this..is going to deplete the NHS as far as I can see. Noone should have to deal with conditions like this.

I cannot believe this is happening. Its ridiculous and tbh, every member of staff walking out for their own health reasons, I could not fault at all. See the government fratically backpedal when they realise that no, people aren't willing to put up with this to make th government look better, when the government should be looking like shit for the situation weeks back..not taking credit for how 'safe' they apparently make it now.

Sorry for all those who are having a really difficult time at the moment. I am a HCP but left the NHS for other roles in 2003. I still have contact with my NHS colleagues in my current role. Like the OP says though, the therapies have very much been forgotten, it concerns me how little has come from my NHS colleagues, which probably means discharge planning isn't really happening.* It is concerning that staff have been redeployed from other teams so those services that were already struggling are sinking further and further. I worry that once things start opening properly again it will be like an avalanche, though people think everything should be back to normal now.

• I understand why not but it still potentially building up issues for the future.

It's the responsibility of the managers to speak to Scottish Government and put their foot down. This should surely be part of their job. No-one has any balls to make a decision and tell the hard truths. Depressing as hell

so glad that pandafunfactory could skip the queue at waitrose as a reward for sitting at her desk and behaving

I am a therapist who has been working throughout the pandemic and it has been ruthless but really ladies? complaining about having to wear the masks? how about half of your vulnerable patients dying and you not being able to do a sodding thing about it. how about my mate in ITU wearing full body suits for 12 hours plus per day without a lunch break, coming home with such bad migraines that she can barely move

how about we thank the people that are working to protect your families, your friends and heaven forbid if you happen to be fat, have diabetes, a respiratory condition, heart condition it could be one of those nurses that will be looking after you if you got covid

so yes working from home is hard and yes video consultations are frustrating and yes it is annoying to have to wear a face mask but let's have some perspective please